Last week was Thanksgiving. Duh. And I LOOOOOVE this time of year. Love it. Halloween always puts me off a little because it can be so nasty and expensive and greedy (candy! candy! candy! And that's just coming from the mom and dad around here!). But then comes November with all its thankfulness and cool weather and anticipation of Christmas when we can focus on the ultimate Gift. And in the midst of all this is family. This year I was beyond anxious to get back to the other side of the lake. We hadn't visited our Michigan peeps since August. And that is just too too long for this girl.
I've been a little homesick lately. Curiously, I often still refer to Michigan as "home" . Sometimes I physically ache for it. Once in awhile even shed a few tears. I long for the people, obviously. (Side note: I've come to understand that if you don't have friends and/or family there, you might not get how one can yearn for "Michigan people". I did not understand what a breed apart "Michigan people" are considered until I moved to Chicago. I stand by my homeland, however.) But I also long for the decreased madness that can constitute the pace of life here, the sense of cohesive community, the scenery, the feel of Michigan sand between my toes. Back in high school, whenever I needed somewhere to go to clear my head, I'd hop in my car and drive out to the beach. Even if I didn't get out once I got there, all I needed was to catch a glimpse of the waves at sunset or even by moonlight, and I felt a little more ready to face life. It was a soothing destination. Here, if I hopped in my car to clear my head I'd probably end up in Nebraska or Alabama.
I think that the real issue here is a restlessness in my soul, something I have been trying to address and flesh out. And that restlessness translates into a desire for change, a fresh start, going back to the roots. I know that a lot of this pondering is just an idyllic existence that I've built up in my mind about a small town. And I know that if I left this home, that I would be left missing my tribe here, the ones who have become my family. So it appears that I must resign myself to some loss and longing in my life.
Which only makes sense, really, since what I'm really searching for is my true Home. Everything else here is just a substitute.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
35 Things I've Learned in 35 Years
First of all, I'm on another life-changing book kick. I know. The book is called Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider, and it is exactly the book I've needed to read for about a year now. Anyhoo...more on that another time.
I was reading on Tsh's blog and came across this post about the 35 things she's learned in her 35 years. The list totally made me laugh and also nod my head in agreement. So I thought I'd post my own list of 35. Which feels a little bit lame since I'm stealing the idea from someone else, but I'm a sucker for a good list, so I'm doing it anyway.
1) Treat others as you would want to be treated.
2) Show compassion. I love this quote: "Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." -T.H. Thompson and John Watson
3) A life without coffee is not really a life.
4) God first - family second - career third
5) Legos are a blessing and a curse.
6) Trying to be anyone else other than yourself is exhausting and totally not worth it. And man, have I tried over the years.
7) On the heels of #6, do everything you can to learn about yourself and then find joy in using your own unique gifts and talents in all aspects of life, especially loving and serving others.
8) Surround yourself with people who encourage you and love you for who you are. Count these people as your true friends, but show kindness to EVERYONE.
9) Live out of a grateful heart (I'm still working on this).
10) When upset or hurt or angry, take at least an hour before talking to anyone else about it (or putting it out on Facebook). Many hurt feelings and misdirected emails and unnecessary rants can be avoided this way.
11) This world is full of hurt and sorrow and disappointment. Know that this is the reality, but rejoice in the good moments and know that God is present with you through the joy and the pain.
12) The Bible is life's most reliable road map.
13) Read, read, and read some more.
14) When feeling anxious in a social or public-speaking situation, fake it. No one will be able to tell you're nervous unless you let them see it.
15) God's plan is ALWAYS the best one.
16) There is a WORLD of parenting advice out there. When in doubt, go with your gut. And also, with your girlfriends. They know you best.
17) Everyone's normal until you get to know them. And then we're all just a little bit crazy together.
18) Pray. Persistently. In other words, PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens)
19) Not everyone you come in contact with is your mission.
20) In college, your plans for the evening will start at 10pm. At 35 this is most likely your bedtime. And this is ok.
21) Work on a 50/50 marriage. It's perfectly acceptable, and even preferable, not to operate out of gender stereotypes.See #22.
22) It's ok not to enjoy cooking as a woman! (It works even better when your man does.)
23) Discern between the mountains and the molehills. Don't lose sleep over the latter.
24) Dancing is almost always a good idea. Drinking excessively (even when dancing) is pretty much always a bad idea.
25) Live within your means. Debt is bondage. Do everything you can to live financially free.
26) Having "a place for everything and everything in its place" leads to a much clearer mind and less wasted time (ie: where are those freaking keys????!!!).
27) True peace is found in surrendering your own way and will in favor of God's.
28) Time flies by way too fast. Enjoy the moment you're in.
29) Don't bother with new furniture when you have children. Particularly boys.
30) Know how much you can handle and then be at peace with that, no matter what anyone says. You are the only one who can draw your boundaries.
31) Not everyone is going to like you.
32) You're only as old as you feel (this is not always a positive thing, but drink the life out of the age you are anyway).
33) The dishes can wait until tomorrow.
34) Learn to control the screens in your home. Don't let them control you. (This is another one I'm still working on.)
35) Amazing girlfriends are worth their weight in expensive shoes. It's important to invest in close friendships. (None of my girlfriends actually wear really expensive shoes, least of all me, so I'm not totally sure what I meant by this. Just that I love my friends a whole lot.)
I was reading on Tsh's blog and came across this post about the 35 things she's learned in her 35 years. The list totally made me laugh and also nod my head in agreement. So I thought I'd post my own list of 35. Which feels a little bit lame since I'm stealing the idea from someone else, but I'm a sucker for a good list, so I'm doing it anyway.
1) Treat others as you would want to be treated.
2) Show compassion. I love this quote: "Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." -T.H. Thompson and John Watson
3) A life without coffee is not really a life.
4) God first - family second - career third
5) Legos are a blessing and a curse.
6) Trying to be anyone else other than yourself is exhausting and totally not worth it. And man, have I tried over the years.
7) On the heels of #6, do everything you can to learn about yourself and then find joy in using your own unique gifts and talents in all aspects of life, especially loving and serving others.
8) Surround yourself with people who encourage you and love you for who you are. Count these people as your true friends, but show kindness to EVERYONE.
9) Live out of a grateful heart (I'm still working on this).
10) When upset or hurt or angry, take at least an hour before talking to anyone else about it (or putting it out on Facebook). Many hurt feelings and misdirected emails and unnecessary rants can be avoided this way.
11) This world is full of hurt and sorrow and disappointment. Know that this is the reality, but rejoice in the good moments and know that God is present with you through the joy and the pain.
12) The Bible is life's most reliable road map.
13) Read, read, and read some more.
14) When feeling anxious in a social or public-speaking situation, fake it. No one will be able to tell you're nervous unless you let them see it.
15) God's plan is ALWAYS the best one.
16) There is a WORLD of parenting advice out there. When in doubt, go with your gut. And also, with your girlfriends. They know you best.
17) Everyone's normal until you get to know them. And then we're all just a little bit crazy together.
18) Pray. Persistently. In other words, PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens)
19) Not everyone you come in contact with is your mission.
20) In college, your plans for the evening will start at 10pm. At 35 this is most likely your bedtime. And this is ok.
21) Work on a 50/50 marriage. It's perfectly acceptable, and even preferable, not to operate out of gender stereotypes.See #22.
22) It's ok not to enjoy cooking as a woman! (It works even better when your man does.)
23) Discern between the mountains and the molehills. Don't lose sleep over the latter.
24) Dancing is almost always a good idea. Drinking excessively (even when dancing) is pretty much always a bad idea.
25) Live within your means. Debt is bondage. Do everything you can to live financially free.
26) Having "a place for everything and everything in its place" leads to a much clearer mind and less wasted time (ie: where are those freaking keys????!!!).
27) True peace is found in surrendering your own way and will in favor of God's.
28) Time flies by way too fast. Enjoy the moment you're in.
29) Don't bother with new furniture when you have children. Particularly boys.
30) Know how much you can handle and then be at peace with that, no matter what anyone says. You are the only one who can draw your boundaries.
31) Not everyone is going to like you.
32) You're only as old as you feel (this is not always a positive thing, but drink the life out of the age you are anyway).
33) The dishes can wait until tomorrow.
34) Learn to control the screens in your home. Don't let them control you. (This is another one I'm still working on.)
35) Amazing girlfriends are worth their weight in expensive shoes. It's important to invest in close friendships. (None of my girlfriends actually wear really expensive shoes, least of all me, so I'm not totally sure what I meant by this. Just that I love my friends a whole lot.)
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Words
Words have had an irresistable pull on me from birth (so far as I know. I draw a bit of a blank on the first three years or so. And there are also a lot of empty spaces in years 4 through 35 as well. Anyway....). I had grandparents who would read to me (even the ones who lived hundreds of miles away would send me tapes of them reading books), parents who read to me, a mom who modeled her love for reading and crosswords. Apparently I was so obsessed with words I felt it necessary to smuggle out books from the school library under my dress, a fact that was permanently recorded on my kindergarten report card. My career as a klepto was short-lived, however, and I moved on to more constructive hobbies, such as learning to read the summer between kindergarten and first grade. And I don't think I've been without a book close by my person since. I would spend hours writing stories (mostly pretty terrible ones, to be honest) while growing up and, to toot my proverbial horn, won the Young Authors competition in third grade for the enthralling tale The Magical Mouse . I have piles of diaries and journals that hold my deepest secrets from my formative years (important things like, you know, the cutest boy in class and what I planned on wearing the next day to catch his eye. Which NEVER happened, first of all, and secondly I had zero style which is moot anyway because what fifth grade boy cares what you're wearing?!).
Words are my constant comfort. From others' I draw encouragement, knowledge, a sense of camaraderie. They are what I use to work through how I feel and think about anything and everything. It's criminal the level of release I feel just by posting a Facebook status that reflects things that are happening in my heart and head. Words are the way I deal.
Sometimes I struggle with this whole having a blog thing. By its very nature it seems that it should exist for people to read. Right? I mean, seriously, it has the potential to be so public and all. And so I get caught up in the comparison game and looking at all of these bloggers who do it for a LIVING, for crap's sake. Or who post something that speaks of my own mind and heart far more succinctly than I could. Or I stress over the fact that mostly what I'm writing seems like complete drivel and who would want to read that anyway? And then the answer comes: me. I write these things for ME. This is how I process and work through and figure out. This is my life and the things that I want to remember. And if someone should stumble across these words (or have them shoved down his/her throat by the author) and feel some encouragement or gain some knowledge or maybe even have a little chuckle then that's really just icing on the cake isn't it? That's what I'm starting to think anyway.
"Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul." ~Anne Lamott
Words are my constant comfort. From others' I draw encouragement, knowledge, a sense of camaraderie. They are what I use to work through how I feel and think about anything and everything. It's criminal the level of release I feel just by posting a Facebook status that reflects things that are happening in my heart and head. Words are the way I deal.
Sometimes I struggle with this whole having a blog thing. By its very nature it seems that it should exist for people to read. Right? I mean, seriously, it has the potential to be so public and all. And so I get caught up in the comparison game and looking at all of these bloggers who do it for a LIVING, for crap's sake. Or who post something that speaks of my own mind and heart far more succinctly than I could. Or I stress over the fact that mostly what I'm writing seems like complete drivel and who would want to read that anyway? And then the answer comes: me. I write these things for ME. This is how I process and work through and figure out. This is my life and the things that I want to remember. And if someone should stumble across these words (or have them shoved down his/her throat by the author) and feel some encouragement or gain some knowledge or maybe even have a little chuckle then that's really just icing on the cake isn't it? That's what I'm starting to think anyway.
"Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul." ~Anne Lamott
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
School's In!
And just like that, a new school year begins.
This day never ceases to fill me with conflicting emotions. There's some grief at the marching on of time that each new year represents. You might see the boy in the photo above. I, however, see this:
At the same time, I wish I could say I wasn't that mom who eagerly awaits the start of school by the time August hits. I WISH I could say that. But I am a creature of habit and loves me a schedule and routine. While we had an incredible summer filled with park visits, swimming, baseball games, family, friends, and leisure in abundance, it was with great excitement that we welcomed today. For Jeran (and, let's face it, for Mom too) there were still a few nerves about what to expect from second grade, its teacher, and its classmates. But they have significantly decreased compared to the last couple of years. You know, whatev, we've got the school thing down.
It was with such pride that I left him this morning, watching him work the line for Room 107, greeting old and new friends alike. I lingered in the background, shuffling away by inches, recognizing how much more rare these glimpses into his school self will become.
I thought I might tear up for a minute, then I considered dancing away in glee. But I settled for a backward glance and a smile, then contentedly turned for home with two more babies clinging to my hands.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Magic Show
ACT ONE:
Ben: Pick a card (closes eyes)
Jeran: Ok
Ben: Did you pick a three?
Jeran: No
Ben: Did you pick a four?
Jeran: No
Ben: Did you pick a two?
Jeran: No
Ben: Did you pick an eight?
Jeran: No
Ben: Did you pick a six?
Jeran: YES!
Both boys: WHOAAAAAAA!
ACT TWO:
Jeran: Ok, Mom, I am going to make a bag of pennies magically appear! (waves wand) Abra cadabra! (Hands grope in pants then emerge triumphantly) See??
Ben: Pick a card (closes eyes)
Jeran: Ok
Ben: Did you pick a three?
Jeran: No
Ben: Did you pick a four?
Jeran: No
Ben: Did you pick a two?
Jeran: No
Ben: Did you pick an eight?
Jeran: No
Ben: Did you pick a six?
Jeran: YES!
Both boys: WHOAAAAAAA!
ACT TWO:
Jeran: Ok, Mom, I am going to make a bag of pennies magically appear! (waves wand) Abra cadabra! (Hands grope in pants then emerge triumphantly) See??
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
The Wrap-up...or is it just the beginning?
So, where do we go from here?
Last week was (I believe I've overused this word in my descriptions of it) amazing. A whole different life. One that really didn't cause major upset. I'll admit that I've been nervous to enter back into "real life", and if I may grossly stretch the analogy, I believe I can relate in some miniscule way to addicts as they have to enter back into their life from "before". I don't want us to revert back to old habits. What we have put into place to try and avoid that scenario is this:
1) The boys are now limited to two hours of screen time per day. One hour in the morning, one hour in the afternoon/evening, and this can only occur after they've completed some responsibilities that we've set out for them (in the morning this involves but is not limited to getting dressed, brushing teeth, some family prayer/devotional time, etc.; in the afternoon, doing some reading). Today this went...bleh, not to put too fine a point on it. I think it's just a matter of suffering from fun-weekend-hangover and then trying to adjust to yet another new "thing" that mom and dad have come up with. But I'm confident we'll get there.
2) We will be getting rid of our cable, to the extent that only the major networks will be left to us. This will seriously limit choices. We do have Netflix, so there's still that to contend with. If we find our family is not wise with it we can always give that the boot too.
3) I am going to loosely keep the schedule I was adhering to last week as far as my own internet shenanigans. Probably a half hour in the morning and evening and then an hour or so in the afternoon for work-type things.
4) James and I have decided we will no longer be "flippers" in the evening, aimlessly scrolling through channels and watching things that have zero interest to us. We'll only watch if there's something on that we truly want to see.
Hopefully having some structured guidlines, a plan - if you will, can assist us in keeping this monkey off our backs. When school starts we may even amend some of these measures further.
I feel proud that we've done something good for our family, something healthy for our minds and spirits. It inspires me to put some other things in motion for me/us, but I'm not really ready to throw those out there yet. COWARD! I know. For those of you have followed our experiment and who have checked in with us or offered words of encouragement, thank you. You played a huge part in our success because just knowing that this had the potential for being followed by others kept me accountable.
In other news, Michigan was FAB-U-LOUS. Family fun at its best. A few pics of the good times rollin'.
Last week was (I believe I've overused this word in my descriptions of it) amazing. A whole different life. One that really didn't cause major upset. I'll admit that I've been nervous to enter back into "real life", and if I may grossly stretch the analogy, I believe I can relate in some miniscule way to addicts as they have to enter back into their life from "before". I don't want us to revert back to old habits. What we have put into place to try and avoid that scenario is this:
1) The boys are now limited to two hours of screen time per day. One hour in the morning, one hour in the afternoon/evening, and this can only occur after they've completed some responsibilities that we've set out for them (in the morning this involves but is not limited to getting dressed, brushing teeth, some family prayer/devotional time, etc.; in the afternoon, doing some reading). Today this went...bleh, not to put too fine a point on it. I think it's just a matter of suffering from fun-weekend-hangover and then trying to adjust to yet another new "thing" that mom and dad have come up with. But I'm confident we'll get there.
2) We will be getting rid of our cable, to the extent that only the major networks will be left to us. This will seriously limit choices. We do have Netflix, so there's still that to contend with. If we find our family is not wise with it we can always give that the boot too.
3) I am going to loosely keep the schedule I was adhering to last week as far as my own internet shenanigans. Probably a half hour in the morning and evening and then an hour or so in the afternoon for work-type things.
4) James and I have decided we will no longer be "flippers" in the evening, aimlessly scrolling through channels and watching things that have zero interest to us. We'll only watch if there's something on that we truly want to see.
Hopefully having some structured guidlines, a plan - if you will, can assist us in keeping this monkey off our backs. When school starts we may even amend some of these measures further.
I feel proud that we've done something good for our family, something healthy for our minds and spirits. It inspires me to put some other things in motion for me/us, but I'm not really ready to throw those out there yet. COWARD! I know. For those of you have followed our experiment and who have checked in with us or offered words of encouragement, thank you. You played a huge part in our success because just knowing that this had the potential for being followed by others kept me accountable.
In other news, Michigan was FAB-U-LOUS. Family fun at its best. A few pics of the good times rollin'.
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| Family pics are over. Let the dirt-digging commence! |
 |
| The Louwerse ladies - takin' over Saugatuck! |
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| Cousins and Big Red |
Thursday, July 19, 2012
It's Thursday?!
Guys, don't hate on me, but I just don't really have anything different to say here. I think we my have found pretty darn close to a new way of life. We do NOT miss our television. We just don't. Is that to say that I will never watch again? Psshhhh, no. I think part of the reason we don't miss it is because we know this is temporary. HOWEVER. Never again do I desire to go back to the land of the couch potato where we were previously residing. There is a lightness and peace that has returned to our home or that maybe is here for the first time, really. In my first post I mentioned the general unrest that had permeated our existence, and now it's like a fog has lifted. It feels really corny to say this, but this week has truly been life-changing.
Hm, that's kinda sad.
I guess it's just evidence of how much of a grip these things have had on our lives without us realizing it.
A new realization today: I have not given my children enough credit. It's me who defaults to the television as entertainment. I try to head off any interruptions to my agenda at the pass by plunking them down in front of the electronic babysitter. They have shown me this week that they are MORE than capable of finding ways to enjoy life without the screen and have proven to me that when I do have to attend to matters other than them (ie: cleaning the house, which I was actually able to do today without the aid of the Power Rangers), they can handle it out of their own imagination.
I've been mulling over ways that we can make some of these changes stick as the week has gone on. I'll spell some of those out here in coming days. Tomorrow we head to Michigan for some fun family time. James's family/siblings has not been together as one unit in, if my calculations are correct, about six years. So we are beyond excited for the good times that are ahead of us. Certainly better than anything MTV, Food Network, or G.I. Joe could entice us with.
Have a great weekend, y'all.
Hm, that's kinda sad.
I guess it's just evidence of how much of a grip these things have had on our lives without us realizing it.
A new realization today: I have not given my children enough credit. It's me who defaults to the television as entertainment. I try to head off any interruptions to my agenda at the pass by plunking them down in front of the electronic babysitter. They have shown me this week that they are MORE than capable of finding ways to enjoy life without the screen and have proven to me that when I do have to attend to matters other than them (ie: cleaning the house, which I was actually able to do today without the aid of the Power Rangers), they can handle it out of their own imagination.
I've been mulling over ways that we can make some of these changes stick as the week has gone on. I'll spell some of those out here in coming days. Tomorrow we head to Michigan for some fun family time. James's family/siblings has not been together as one unit in, if my calculations are correct, about six years. So we are beyond excited for the good times that are ahead of us. Certainly better than anything MTV, Food Network, or G.I. Joe could entice us with.
Have a great weekend, y'all.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Day 2
Remember yesterday when I said that my children were relatively unfazed by the amount of time remaining in our screenless week? Sometime this afternoon Ben decided that five days left was SIGNIFICANT. Yes, we had our first meltdown this afternoon. However, it was short (especially for Ben who is a marathon whiner), and he quickly went back to business as usual. I'm not complaining. I had myself geared up for constant requests and complaints this week, and they just haven't happened. I continue to be amazed.
Today involved a trip to the local splash park with some neighborhood friends, and it was definitely helpful to get outta the house for awhile, but the remainder of the day the boys were once again more than satisfied to entertain themselves and each other here at home. A few hairy moments ensued around dinner time, and that's not unusual. For whatever reason, that is the time of day at our house when all the crazies come out. Usually there is much yelling (on both my and the kids' part) and general unproductive attempts at stamping out the fires. Today I took a deep breath instead and dug into my dollar section back-up plans so that the rest of our time before din-din looked like this:
I realized today how much we've been operating on autopilot (at least, speaking for myself and I think for my better half too). But in the past 48 hours I feel like we've truly been interacting with each other and not just coexisting. We're eating meals as a family, sharing time together in the evening (rather than the mad rush to just GET THOSE KIDS IN BED ALREADY!), and really observing what's happening with one another. And we're making room. Room for conversation, connection, creativity (this grammar nerd just LOVES alliteration). Room for God to speak and to direct our activities.
Nothing's perfect around here, by any means. But I can't help but speak positively about what's happening so far. I kind of feel like I just showed up to my own life (is that a song?). I have renewed energy, renewed love for my children, renewed interest in taking an active role in who they're becoming.
What else did I learn about myself today? I have learned that I have a huge sense of urgency when it comes to communication/information. I constantly found myself gripped by, "I need to look up that info on the internet RIGHT NOW!" or "That email needs to be written and sent RIGHT NOW!" And it just isn't so. One goal I have for myself when we return to "normal" next week is to continue to limit my computer activity to just a couple of specific times during the day. Minutes and hours rapidly get sucked up when I give myself constant access and free reign, and those minutes and hours I'd rather give to the people in my life.
Speaking of people, I spent the loveliest evening with a special group of women in my life. We started out (the original group, anyway) sharing a career (educating) and a love for reading, and throughout the past nine years have also shared in coming mothers and raising our babies, changing homes, morphing life roles. Some moved on from the group, others entered in, but they are all incredible ladies, and I'm blessed to know them and continue sharing stories, both read and lived. Thanks for the laughter this evening, ladies, and for filling my night with REAL entertainment, not the screen-confined kind.
Today involved a trip to the local splash park with some neighborhood friends, and it was definitely helpful to get outta the house for awhile, but the remainder of the day the boys were once again more than satisfied to entertain themselves and each other here at home. A few hairy moments ensued around dinner time, and that's not unusual. For whatever reason, that is the time of day at our house when all the crazies come out. Usually there is much yelling (on both my and the kids' part) and general unproductive attempts at stamping out the fires. Today I took a deep breath instead and dug into my dollar section back-up plans so that the rest of our time before din-din looked like this:
 |
| Thank you, Target. (Notice the bat on the table. This was NOT being used productively five minutes prior to this photo.) |
I realized today how much we've been operating on autopilot (at least, speaking for myself and I think for my better half too). But in the past 48 hours I feel like we've truly been interacting with each other and not just coexisting. We're eating meals as a family, sharing time together in the evening (rather than the mad rush to just GET THOSE KIDS IN BED ALREADY!), and really observing what's happening with one another. And we're making room. Room for conversation, connection, creativity (this grammar nerd just LOVES alliteration). Room for God to speak and to direct our activities.
Nothing's perfect around here, by any means. But I can't help but speak positively about what's happening so far. I kind of feel like I just showed up to my own life (is that a song?). I have renewed energy, renewed love for my children, renewed interest in taking an active role in who they're becoming.
What else did I learn about myself today? I have learned that I have a huge sense of urgency when it comes to communication/information. I constantly found myself gripped by, "I need to look up that info on the internet RIGHT NOW!" or "That email needs to be written and sent RIGHT NOW!" And it just isn't so. One goal I have for myself when we return to "normal" next week is to continue to limit my computer activity to just a couple of specific times during the day. Minutes and hours rapidly get sucked up when I give myself constant access and free reign, and those minutes and hours I'd rather give to the people in my life.
Speaking of people, I spent the loveliest evening with a special group of women in my life. We started out (the original group, anyway) sharing a career (educating) and a love for reading, and throughout the past nine years have also shared in coming mothers and raising our babies, changing homes, morphing life roles. Some moved on from the group, others entered in, but they are all incredible ladies, and I'm blessed to know them and continue sharing stories, both read and lived. Thanks for the laughter this evening, ladies, and for filling my night with REAL entertainment, not the screen-confined kind.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Day 1
Let me just say that the best way to start your first day of complete separation from all forms of alternative entertainment is NOT to lose three hours of sleep the night before to a screaming migraine. Strike one. My lofty goal was to awaken before the children this morning (and you've gotta be up MIGHTY early to beat those boys to the punch). Instead, my barely coherent, slightly comatose self was only remotely cognizant of the fact that they were up and at 'em around 6:30. This is generally the first time t.v./computer is used in our day (since, let's face it, most mornings find me barely coherent and slightly comatose). In my twilight-minded state I remember Jeran coming in to ask where the remote was (I had hidden it the night before). After being reminded that this was day one of our no-t.v. adventure, he merely shrugged and went to haul out his Legos.
This reaction was enough to cause one of my eyelids to sloooooooowly open. Perhaps there was hope for the day after all!!!
Truly, it was an amazing day. I could not have asked for things to have gone better on day one. Only one other time in the entire day did the boys even ask about their missing screens (Benj asked after his nap how many days were left and seemed relatively undaunted by the number six). I really am so proud of my boys as I reflect on the past 14 hours. They are 100% all in on this challenge and were pretty much unfazed by it all. I didn't do too bad myself. A little work this afternoon, a little blogging now, and I've stayed within my hour and a half internet limit for myself. Mostly.
It seems like such a silly thing, giving up t.v. and computer usage for the week. I feel like I'm making such a big deal over something so minor. But it IS a big deal. I can see after just one day how much these things taken over our lives, our brain function, our family time. It was SUCH a good day. I haven't ended a day feeling this good as a parent and a person in so long I can't even tell you. It's refreshing.
With that said, I could be singing a totally different tune come Wednesday.
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This reaction was enough to cause one of my eyelids to sloooooooowly open. Perhaps there was hope for the day after all!!!
Truly, it was an amazing day. I could not have asked for things to have gone better on day one. Only one other time in the entire day did the boys even ask about their missing screens (Benj asked after his nap how many days were left and seemed relatively undaunted by the number six). I really am so proud of my boys as I reflect on the past 14 hours. They are 100% all in on this challenge and were pretty much unfazed by it all. I didn't do too bad myself. A little work this afternoon, a little blogging now, and I've stayed within my hour and a half internet limit for myself. Mostly.
It seems like such a silly thing, giving up t.v. and computer usage for the week. I feel like I'm making such a big deal over something so minor. But it IS a big deal. I can see after just one day how much these things taken over our lives, our brain function, our family time. It was SUCH a good day. I haven't ended a day feeling this good as a parent and a person in so long I can't even tell you. It's refreshing.
With that said, I could be singing a totally different tune come Wednesday.
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| Fort building busts any boredom |
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| What are these we've found in our house? Toys?! |
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| This is such a terrible picture - I apologize. Jeran was a little bit at a loss how to spend his last few moments before bed, and James suggested he go chat up our friendly neighbor across the street. So he did. :) |
Sunday, July 15, 2012
The Plan, such as it is
First of all, please do not take my last post as my commentary on media/humanity in general or you/your family specifically. This whole thing is merely about what's happening in my home and family and what's not working for us anymore. I certainly don't want to be the cause of any offense or give off the vibe that all technology is evil. Ok, disclaimer over.
Thanks so much to those of you, both here and on Facebook, who have chimed in with encouragement and advice. I am equal parts excited and terrified about this endeavor. Since I decided with certainty to pursue this I just feel all sorts of confirmation and get it repeatedly (based on behavior around here) that it's going to be the right thing. But it's going to be dang hard.
I can already see that the temptation for me will be to run us ragged with activity. But that kind of defeats the purpose of what I want to accomplish. I want to take the focus off of DOING and just BE. I want to experience peace in our home and a slowing down. My mantra for the week shall be, "I am not the cruise director!!"
The times that I rely most on the television to entertain my brood is first thing in the morning and during dinner-makin' time. So I can be certain that these will be the moments in which I'll face the greatest temptation. If I'm going to be brutally honest, anytime I have an agenda is when I most rely on that thing to babysit for me. I've been arming myself for moments in which an activity is needed with a few goodies at the dollar section in Target and by perusing websites where other brave souls before me have pondered alternatives to the t.v.
Another great temptation for me, personally, is going to be logging off Facebook for the week and not checking email the SECOND I'm alerted by my phone. I do use the internet for work, so I've allotted myself an hour and a half a day to handle any work matters (I know, I'm totally spoiled with a flexible at-home job)/respond to emails/blog about our misadventures. Other than that, the laptop and my phone will be tucked away. I will feel very lonely as these devices connect me to a world in which my name isn't "Mom".
SO. The experiment begins tomorrow. Feel free to follow along here if you wish, as a witness to our triumphs and, perhaps, epic failures. My prayer is that I'll be open to all sorts of thing God wants to show me, not the least of which is that the t.v. really doesn't have to be the supreme ruler.
Thanks so much to those of you, both here and on Facebook, who have chimed in with encouragement and advice. I am equal parts excited and terrified about this endeavor. Since I decided with certainty to pursue this I just feel all sorts of confirmation and get it repeatedly (based on behavior around here) that it's going to be the right thing. But it's going to be dang hard.
I can already see that the temptation for me will be to run us ragged with activity. But that kind of defeats the purpose of what I want to accomplish. I want to take the focus off of DOING and just BE. I want to experience peace in our home and a slowing down. My mantra for the week shall be, "I am not the cruise director!!"
The times that I rely most on the television to entertain my brood is first thing in the morning and during dinner-makin' time. So I can be certain that these will be the moments in which I'll face the greatest temptation. If I'm going to be brutally honest, anytime I have an agenda is when I most rely on that thing to babysit for me. I've been arming myself for moments in which an activity is needed with a few goodies at the dollar section in Target and by perusing websites where other brave souls before me have pondered alternatives to the t.v.
Another great temptation for me, personally, is going to be logging off Facebook for the week and not checking email the SECOND I'm alerted by my phone. I do use the internet for work, so I've allotted myself an hour and a half a day to handle any work matters (I know, I'm totally spoiled with a flexible at-home job)/respond to emails/blog about our misadventures. Other than that, the laptop and my phone will be tucked away. I will feel very lonely as these devices connect me to a world in which my name isn't "Mom".
SO. The experiment begins tomorrow. Feel free to follow along here if you wish, as a witness to our triumphs and, perhaps, epic failures. My prayer is that I'll be open to all sorts of thing God wants to show me, not the least of which is that the t.v. really doesn't have to be the supreme ruler.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
It Might Be Time for Somethin' Drastic
Back in college, James and his roommates would jokingly (lovingly?) refer to their television as the "supreme ruler", owing to the significance of time it held over the apartment-at-large's daily schedule. We would laugh and laugh over the affection and esteem with which the almighty screen was held.
Well, it ain't so funny anymore.
For a long time now there's been a niggling, gnawing fear growing in my mind that we are a bit screen-addicted. When this guilty realization would begin to rear its ugly head I would do what any mature adult would do.
Justify.
"We're not as bad as a lot of other people. Probably."
"My kids aren't affected by it."
"The boys know when to cut themselves off. They barely even watch when it's on."
"It's EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMMING!"
These excuses have grown increasingly weak, and their inability to hold my conscience at bay has loomed over me in recent days. The t.v and computer screens in our household have very much become (gulp) supreme in their monopoly of our time and attention. And if I am honest for just one second I know that there are a number of reasons for that, not the least of which is the fact that it makes my life easier. When I need to get stuff done or want the boys to quit fighting it's SO stinkin' easy to ask them what they want to watch or play on the computer. And I can catch an extra half hour, easy, of sleep in the morning because they can get up and just switch on the Babysitter.
The educational excuse held up pretty solidly until recently, but PBS Kids has been replaced in a greater capacity by Transformers, G.I. Joe, Phineas and Ferb (ok, ok, I can concede the remote value of this one. I love that Dr. Doofenshmirtz!), Power Rangers (have mercy), and some Dragon Ball show that screams anime and makes zero sense to me (it might help if I watched more than thirty seconds of it though). It has been growing harder to ignore the increase in energetic wrestling, fighting,swordplay, and overall aggression in my home in direct proprotion to the growing number of hours spent in front of these shows, not to mention how much harder it seems to be lately for the boys to focus on anything, Jeran's almost nightly bad dreams, and the general feeling of unrest in our home.
I cannot only point fingers at the out-of-control screen habits of the children in this household (and really, whose fault are those anyway?). In the evenings, James and I choose to unwind with a libation of some type and a t.v. show/movie. We are SO.FREAKING.TIRED by the end of the day due to the demands of his job, and my hours upon hours of meeting little people needs that it's about all we can do to crawl to our bedroom and reach for the remote. (Yes. I know. T.V. in our room. Something I said I would never have. Proving once again, never say never.)
Let's digress from the television a minute and talk about the number of hours per day I am attached to my computer. Suffice it to say, carpal tunnel syndrome is becoming a real danger. Oh sure, I can excuse myself with protests of needing it for work, a connection to the outside world (Stay-at-Home-Mom Syndrome), primary form of communication. But the hard truth is I check Facebook about 15 times a day. And let's not get into the time spent on Pinterest.
This all plays into the time I've spent wondering lately what it is I want for my life/our family life. More importantly, what does God want for us, but our minds, hearts, and home aren't quiet long enough for us to hear Him? What do I want my children to learn about time and priorities? What do I need to learn about these things?
I think it might be time for something drastic. It may be time for a screen fast. And so, the Plan, such as it is, is to partake in a Great Screen Wean - taking a break from our t.vs and computer for the duration of next week.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! you say. How about "all things in moderation"? A complete break from t.v. and computer? For a WEEK?! I hear you. These are all the same thoughts my own head has been screaming at me the past several days. Generally, we live our lives according to moderation in all things. But there are certain areas of my life in which I don't seem to be able to apply this principle. The use of t.v. and computer being one of them.
I guess, too, I just want to be able to prove to myself that I can do it. That I'm not a complete and utter addict to technology. And also, I want to see some changes made within our family and myself. And change requres ACTION.
I'm still fleshing out in my mind how this is all going to come together specifically. For now I leave you with a request for any words of encouragement/wisdom/suggestion, and a quote from Aristotle:
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." OR, as my very wise husband paraphrased it: "You are what you do everyday".
I don't want to be a boob (tube).
Well, it ain't so funny anymore.
For a long time now there's been a niggling, gnawing fear growing in my mind that we are a bit screen-addicted. When this guilty realization would begin to rear its ugly head I would do what any mature adult would do.
Justify.
"We're not as bad as a lot of other people. Probably."
"My kids aren't affected by it."
"The boys know when to cut themselves off. They barely even watch when it's on."
"It's EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMMING!"
These excuses have grown increasingly weak, and their inability to hold my conscience at bay has loomed over me in recent days. The t.v and computer screens in our household have very much become (gulp) supreme in their monopoly of our time and attention. And if I am honest for just one second I know that there are a number of reasons for that, not the least of which is the fact that it makes my life easier. When I need to get stuff done or want the boys to quit fighting it's SO stinkin' easy to ask them what they want to watch or play on the computer. And I can catch an extra half hour, easy, of sleep in the morning because they can get up and just switch on the Babysitter.
The educational excuse held up pretty solidly until recently, but PBS Kids has been replaced in a greater capacity by Transformers, G.I. Joe, Phineas and Ferb (ok, ok, I can concede the remote value of this one. I love that Dr. Doofenshmirtz!), Power Rangers (have mercy), and some Dragon Ball show that screams anime and makes zero sense to me (it might help if I watched more than thirty seconds of it though). It has been growing harder to ignore the increase in energetic wrestling, fighting,swordplay, and overall aggression in my home in direct proprotion to the growing number of hours spent in front of these shows, not to mention how much harder it seems to be lately for the boys to focus on anything, Jeran's almost nightly bad dreams, and the general feeling of unrest in our home.
I cannot only point fingers at the out-of-control screen habits of the children in this household (and really, whose fault are those anyway?). In the evenings, James and I choose to unwind with a libation of some type and a t.v. show/movie. We are SO.FREAKING.TIRED by the end of the day due to the demands of his job, and my hours upon hours of meeting little people needs that it's about all we can do to crawl to our bedroom and reach for the remote. (Yes. I know. T.V. in our room. Something I said I would never have. Proving once again, never say never.)
Let's digress from the television a minute and talk about the number of hours per day I am attached to my computer. Suffice it to say, carpal tunnel syndrome is becoming a real danger. Oh sure, I can excuse myself with protests of needing it for work, a connection to the outside world (Stay-at-Home-Mom Syndrome), primary form of communication. But the hard truth is I check Facebook about 15 times a day. And let's not get into the time spent on Pinterest.
This all plays into the time I've spent wondering lately what it is I want for my life/our family life. More importantly, what does God want for us, but our minds, hearts, and home aren't quiet long enough for us to hear Him? What do I want my children to learn about time and priorities? What do I need to learn about these things?
I think it might be time for something drastic. It may be time for a screen fast. And so, the Plan, such as it is, is to partake in a Great Screen Wean - taking a break from our t.vs and computer for the duration of next week.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! you say. How about "all things in moderation"? A complete break from t.v. and computer? For a WEEK?! I hear you. These are all the same thoughts my own head has been screaming at me the past several days. Generally, we live our lives according to moderation in all things. But there are certain areas of my life in which I don't seem to be able to apply this principle. The use of t.v. and computer being one of them.
I guess, too, I just want to be able to prove to myself that I can do it. That I'm not a complete and utter addict to technology. And also, I want to see some changes made within our family and myself. And change requres ACTION.
I'm still fleshing out in my mind how this is all going to come together specifically. For now I leave you with a request for any words of encouragement/wisdom/suggestion, and a quote from Aristotle:
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." OR, as my very wise husband paraphrased it: "You are what you do everyday".
I don't want to be a boob (tube).
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
35
So people say that you're only as old as you feel. That's cool and all, but the last couple of years I mostly don't feel a day over 70. (My apologies for that statement to the energetic, healthy, non-stop 70-year-olds in my life.)
I hit the big 3-5 Monday. I don't really have much to say about that. It passed fairly uneventfully: some uplifting bday greetings from all my Facebook peeps, a few cards in the mail, Chinese food for dinner, lots of hugs and kisses from my boys, flowers from my man. These things were all wonderful, but I was left with a lot of the day to dwell on life and the past 35 years and gave much thought to the rest of my life that's before, though God only truly knows the number of my days.
All of this think-think-thinking led me to one conclusion, one that I posted confidently as my Facebook status in the morning but came to truly believe by the end of the day:
Age is just a number.
Numbers frighten me (thank you, 6th-12 grade math for that). More specifically, time frightens me. I've never had a good handle on time as it relates to the present. I constantly find myself waffling between living in the past (steeped in nostalgia and/or regret) or the future (anxious and anticipating). And as I find more and more of my years behind me, I start to feel a little overwhelmed and panicked by it all. And you know what? I don't want my life to be quantified by something so insignificant and fickle as years.
I want my life to be counted according to things that MATTER.
-1 God who is my loving Father and the ultimate guiding presence in my life. I want my obedience to and love for Him to become headstone-worthy in the days/weeks/months/years I have left.
-1 husband and the loving sacrifices I am willing to make to put him above myself
-3 boys and the men that they will become
-2 schools which are home to my boys' education right now. What difference will be measured in the lives of the teachers, staff, students, families here because we choose to be an encouraging presence?
-13 states in the continental U.S. (and 2 Canadian provinces!) across which are scattered the immense number of family and friends who I am blessed to have love me.
-14.9 square miles of town in which I live and thousands of people within them. In what ways is God calling me to be a light in dark places? In how many of those lives will God call me to make a difference?
-90 members (approximately) of my church family who feed into my life and with whom I am privileged to serve
Going forward I commit to not allowing the number of years behind or ahead of me dictate the meaning that my life holds. For, as Abraham Lincoln once wisely said, "...in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
I hit the big 3-5 Monday. I don't really have much to say about that. It passed fairly uneventfully: some uplifting bday greetings from all my Facebook peeps, a few cards in the mail, Chinese food for dinner, lots of hugs and kisses from my boys, flowers from my man. These things were all wonderful, but I was left with a lot of the day to dwell on life and the past 35 years and gave much thought to the rest of my life that's before, though God only truly knows the number of my days.
All of this think-think-thinking led me to one conclusion, one that I posted confidently as my Facebook status in the morning but came to truly believe by the end of the day:
Age is just a number.
Numbers frighten me (thank you, 6th-12 grade math for that). More specifically, time frightens me. I've never had a good handle on time as it relates to the present. I constantly find myself waffling between living in the past (steeped in nostalgia and/or regret) or the future (anxious and anticipating). And as I find more and more of my years behind me, I start to feel a little overwhelmed and panicked by it all. And you know what? I don't want my life to be quantified by something so insignificant and fickle as years.
I want my life to be counted according to things that MATTER.
-1 God who is my loving Father and the ultimate guiding presence in my life. I want my obedience to and love for Him to become headstone-worthy in the days/weeks/months/years I have left.
-1 husband and the loving sacrifices I am willing to make to put him above myself
-3 boys and the men that they will become
-2 schools which are home to my boys' education right now. What difference will be measured in the lives of the teachers, staff, students, families here because we choose to be an encouraging presence?
-13 states in the continental U.S. (and 2 Canadian provinces!) across which are scattered the immense number of family and friends who I am blessed to have love me.
-14.9 square miles of town in which I live and thousands of people within them. In what ways is God calling me to be a light in dark places? In how many of those lives will God call me to make a difference?
-90 members (approximately) of my church family who feed into my life and with whom I am privileged to serve
Going forward I commit to not allowing the number of years behind or ahead of me dictate the meaning that my life holds. For, as Abraham Lincoln once wisely said, "...in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Gone campin'
Hey, sorry for the lack of posting. All of our efforts have been going into not melting. Phew! (wipes brow)
Our first camping outing of the year took place a couple of weeks ago at Cran Hill Ranch in Michigan where we received further evidence that the boys are growing up and growing easier because we did NOT HATE IT! Our moments of feeling overwhelmed and out of our depth were SIGNIFICANTLY less than last year, so I'm glad to tell you that a great time was had by all.
Cran Hill is an extremely family-friendly, Christian-run campground/summer camp. The few days we were there were filled with swimming, fishing, horse-drawn-wagon-riding, s'mores making, ice-cream eating, and family togetherness with my parents and brother/sister-in-law/nephew/nephew-to-be. In our "backyard" was a huge playground:
and in our "front yard", the lake:
Brilliant.
The only downer was that we packed up early on our last day in a steady rain and then drove out of the campground under sun and blue sky. But the rest of the weekend made up for it, and we are already thinking ahead to next year's trip (in these same spots, I hope).
Our first camping outing of the year took place a couple of weeks ago at Cran Hill Ranch in Michigan where we received further evidence that the boys are growing up and growing easier because we did NOT HATE IT! Our moments of feeling overwhelmed and out of our depth were SIGNIFICANTLY less than last year, so I'm glad to tell you that a great time was had by all.
Cran Hill is an extremely family-friendly, Christian-run campground/summer camp. The few days we were there were filled with swimming, fishing, horse-drawn-wagon-riding, s'mores making, ice-cream eating, and family togetherness with my parents and brother/sister-in-law/nephew/nephew-to-be. In our "backyard" was a huge playground:
The only downer was that we packed up early on our last day in a steady rain and then drove out of the campground under sun and blue sky. But the rest of the weekend made up for it, and we are already thinking ahead to next year's trip (in these same spots, I hope).
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Summer, Weeks 1 and 2
For about 17 years of my life, summer was the golden light at the end of the tunnel, the long-anticipated relief after nine months of reading, writing, and 'rithmetic. And then college came to an end, and for the next seven years of my life my teaching career afforded that same golden light, following nine-plus months of planning, preparations, grading, etc. Now my children are in school. 2/3 of them anyway. And life has come to a screeching halt. I won't lie, there was more fear and trepidation this year than excitement and anticipation as the calendar approached June. I wasn't totally confident I would know what to do with three children 24/7 anymore. It was a strange new phenomenon to almost DREAD summer's arrival.
I am relieved to report that after two weeks of summer break we are all still alive and kicking (for the boys, often, literally). It's definitely meant some adjustment. Not only am I not used to my first grader being home all day everyday, he's not used to it either. We've had a few moments where lack of structure has thrown us into a bit of a tailspin. More often than not, though, we've just been joyfully drinking in summertime.
It's been a fun-filled couple of summertime weeks around here. Week three, unfortunately, is starting off with some illness and long sleepless, nights. We're hoping to rally for our big family camping trip at the end of the week. Stay tuned!
I am relieved to report that after two weeks of summer break we are all still alive and kicking (for the boys, often, literally). It's definitely meant some adjustment. Not only am I not used to my first grader being home all day everyday, he's not used to it either. We've had a few moments where lack of structure has thrown us into a bit of a tailspin. More often than not, though, we've just been joyfully drinking in summertime.
We kicked off summer with a splash at the local splash pad. I'm so glad my children are still at an age when they love these glorified sprinklers.
Also in week 1, we spent time with some friends in the neighborhood, had some good buddies over to play around in the backyard pool and sprinkler, and attempted a swim session in the pool at our gym. I LOVE water. Love to be around it, in it, seeing it, hearing it. And so it's always my dream to go and lounge around a pool with my boys for the day. I tried this limited times last year with no great success - the boys were just too little for me to handle effectively watching all three of them on my own. Our first attempt this year went pretty smoothly, so I'm hoping we can enjoy more pool days to come! The boys are all taking swimming lessons currently and doing great, so hopefully their growing independence in this area will only further my time-at-the-pool cause.
Week 1 ended with our attendance at a West Michigan Whitecaps (minor league ball team) game with the Berghoef clan. Only the boys and I were able to make this one as James had big plans for golfing with his fellow Trinity alums. Being realistic, I knew I couldn't successfully wrangle all three boys on my own, so Grayson got to hang out with his aunt Rachel on this particular evening. The fam was set up very comfortably in our own box at the game, complete with unlimited food and drink. I made sure that Jeran and Ben were VERY clear on the fact that not all ball games get to be attended this way. Don't want them ruined for life for the traditional baseball experience.(ie: bleachers and hot dogs)
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| I can't say I totally understand this Pig Wearing an Inner Tube mascot, but the boys were sure excited to meet him! |
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| Benj and "my cousin, Meal". :) That would be Neal, my cousin's son, who we were lucky enough to get to hang out with the following day too! |
Another first for the boys during our extended Michigan stay was to see their first in-theater movie. Aunt Rachel was a big help in making this possible. Have I mentioned how overwhelmed I get by three rambunctious boys?
Probably one of the most exciting parts of Summer, Week 2 was the fact that we got to welcome home a few people we've been missing like C-R-A-Z-Y the last two years. My sister-in-law, Jeni, and my nieces and nephew. During their one-year stint as Michiganders a few years back we all grew very close, and it was SO tough to say good-bye, particularly as I'd seen the kids get so tight. Well, long story short, they are back for good (we think. We hope!), and we had the chance to reunite last week.
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| James' mom got the 8 of us tickets for a train ride - a fun and unique way to catch up. |
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| Cousins! |
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| There are two party poopers missing from this photo! |
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| It was SO GOOD to see these guys laughing together again. (Ah, fart jokes - the universal language of togetherness.) |
Sunday, June 17, 2012
"I've Got Dozens of Dollars": an ode to dads
James found this online this morning, and it gave us a good laugh. Consider this our blanket shout-out to all of you dads out there who are rockin' it as the head of your family and are still able to laugh about it all. And more specifically, Happy Father's Day to the man who has always given me vast amounts of love, support, and encouragement as well as his wacky sense of humor, speedy metabolism, and bad feet (oh well, can't win 'em all). I love you, Dad. Thank you for your love and faithful, godly example. Happy Dad's Day also to my dad-in-law, who has always made me feel like a daughter and whose faith-filled life and fatherly skills have set an example for his son that has allowed my boys to have an incredible father. And he is an INCREDIBLE father.
Happy Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day!
Thursday, June 7, 2012
14 Years
There are dishes in the sink.
Toys
dirty clothes
crumbs
strewn about.
A boy pops out of bed for one more
drink
pee
snuggle.
But between us sits wine and candlelight,
there's music in the background that is full of history and emotion,
and your eyes meet mine amidst and among it all,
and there are fourteen-plus years there
and all the moments that have brought us here.
My heart beats steadily
not always in rhythm with yours.
But always with you
I am home.
Toys
dirty clothes
crumbs
strewn about.
A boy pops out of bed for one more
drink
pee
snuggle.
But between us sits wine and candlelight,
there's music in the background that is full of history and emotion,
and your eyes meet mine amidst and among it all,
and there are fourteen-plus years there
and all the moments that have brought us here.
My heart beats steadily
not always in rhythm with yours.
But always with you
I am home.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Mom of the Year
Crikies! I have a three-year-old! And I have not so much as made MENTION of it!
My boy's birthday was sadly overshadowed by the passing of my grampa about a month ago now. Wow. A month already. And wouldn't you know it, in the midst of all that it was my gramma who reminded me of the boy's birthday. Amazing.
So, yes. My boy. Grayson. You can read about his entrance into the world, should you so choose, here.
What can I say about this kid? If I could freeze him at this age I definitely would. I probably would have done that about a year and a half ago already. But definitely now. He has me in stitches all. the. time. He is constantly on the move but easygoing. Loving and kind - it's amazing to me how tuned in he is to others' feelings even at this young age. I still call him my baby, and most of the time he's content to let me treat him as such. I try to pick him up and tote him around and then remember that he's a tank at 39 pounds and must concede that he's a big boy now. To top it all off he's been out of diapers for about two weeks now and doing a marvelous job with the whole potty situation. While his entrance into our family was not so much a planned event (on our part, anyhow), I CANNOT imagine our world without him. I think I can safely say that for the rest of my boys as well.
We did get a chance to celebrate my little love with a bowling excursion which, surprisingly, turned out to be more fun than harrowing. I'm telling ya, we're on the very cusp of the great years with these guys. Check out our fun:
Other photos, just to prove that this big boy was once a baby.
My boy's birthday was sadly overshadowed by the passing of my grampa about a month ago now. Wow. A month already. And wouldn't you know it, in the midst of all that it was my gramma who reminded me of the boy's birthday. Amazing.
So, yes. My boy. Grayson. You can read about his entrance into the world, should you so choose, here.
What can I say about this kid? If I could freeze him at this age I definitely would. I probably would have done that about a year and a half ago already. But definitely now. He has me in stitches all. the. time. He is constantly on the move but easygoing. Loving and kind - it's amazing to me how tuned in he is to others' feelings even at this young age. I still call him my baby, and most of the time he's content to let me treat him as such. I try to pick him up and tote him around and then remember that he's a tank at 39 pounds and must concede that he's a big boy now. To top it all off he's been out of diapers for about two weeks now and doing a marvelous job with the whole potty situation. While his entrance into our family was not so much a planned event (on our part, anyhow), I CANNOT imagine our world without him. I think I can safely say that for the rest of my boys as well.
We did get a chance to celebrate my little love with a bowling excursion which, surprisingly, turned out to be more fun than harrowing. I'm telling ya, we're on the very cusp of the great years with these guys. Check out our fun:
 |
| Ready to bowl, baby! |
 |
| Look at that form! |
 |
| Can I just say that James filled out the form with all our names? Yikes. |
 |
| Yes, that's right - James and Jeran tied. And I was beat by a 7 and 4 year old. |
 |
| Happy Birthday, Grayson! And hooray for bowling! |
 |
| A ham, now and forever |
Monday, May 14, 2012
A Mother's Prayer
Give me patience when little hands
tug at me with ceaseless small demands.
Give me gentle words and smiling eyes,
and keep my lips from hasty replies.
Let me not in weariness, confusion, or noise
obscure my vision from life's fleeting joys.
That in years to come, my house with beautiful
memories its rooms may fill.
~Anonymous
A belated Mom's Day shout-out to the woman who gave me birth and continues to love and nurture me. And to all the incredible moms in my life, either by blood, marriage, or friendship. I have a mighty tribe of you in my life, and I am thankful.
tug at me with ceaseless small demands.
Give me gentle words and smiling eyes,
and keep my lips from hasty replies.
Let me not in weariness, confusion, or noise
obscure my vision from life's fleeting joys.
That in years to come, my house with beautiful
memories its rooms may fill.
~Anonymous
A belated Mom's Day shout-out to the woman who gave me birth and continues to love and nurture me. And to all the incredible moms in my life, either by blood, marriage, or friendship. I have a mighty tribe of you in my life, and I am thankful.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
"Do or do not. There is no try." - Yoda
A recent conversation in my home:
Me: I'm no good at cooking. I do not enjoy it.
Hubs: Why don't you just embrace this about yourself? I did a long time ago.
Me: silence. hearty laughter
It may sound like a cruel statement to the average listener, but it was actually very freeing for me to hear.
I allow myself to fall under the illusion that I have to be great at everything, particularly those gifts which many stay-at-home moms find themselves possessing, like cooking. Or having clean children. But I'm starting to realize the misery I've been inflicting on myself and those close to me as I strive to be perfect in areas that don't bring me any joy. While I claim to hold the belief that God has created each of us uniquely, I always find myself comparing me to others and coming up short, rather than exploring how He has actually made me.
On the heels of this conversation at home, I was directed to a book entitled Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. In one section of the book, she deals with the "Things I Don't Do", quoting a friend who encouraged her by saying that it's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.
This. Is sheer genius.
And so unbelievably hard to spell out. I don't like to feel like a failure, wimp, weakling, quitter. I have a really, really difficult time admitting that there are some things I just am not good at and don't enjoy. But I love this idea that by admitting and letting go of those things, I will have more room in my life for the things that bring me joy, that God created me to do and love.
And so, here are the lists I have been pondering:
THINGS I DO:
~ I regularly sit at the feet of my Savior, reading His word, talking to and listening to Him. I wish I could say I did this everyday. I am not there yet. But more and more, as I get to know Him, I find that true peace comes from trusting and following Him and that all other areas of my life fall into place.
~I spend time connecting with my husband and growing our relationship, living each day walking with and carrying each other, by turns. I have learned so much about what selfless love is from this man.
~ Each day I try (whoops, sorry Yoda) to give a little more of myself than I did the day before to my children, snuggling and playing and laughing and praying with them, teaching them, watching them grow.
~ I have been blessed with some amazing, giving, wise women in my life and I cherish these friendships and strive to make time for them.
~ My mind and soul are fed through reading and writing - two things I don't give a lot of time to these days but I'm adding them to the "do" list because they really need to be there.
~ I am committed to my church family, thriving on the corporate worship and teaching and service and love I am able to give and receive there.
~ I love for music to infiltrate my life: listening, singing, occasionally playing my violin.
~ And of course there are the have tos: buying groceries, changing diapers, paying bills, laundry/washing dishes/sweeping and vacuuming floors and generally trying to make sure our home is not a danger to our health, because my boys, God love 'em, would probably be pretty content with a bit more squalor than I'm comfortable with.
THINGS I DON'T DO:
~ I don't cook. Wait. Hold on. I "cook". I mean, I can't have anyone starving to death on my watch. But I am ready to let go of the perception that I am, or one day will be, good at it. (See above convo with the hubs). Mind you, I LOVE Food Network. And I will probably offer to make you a meal should you be in a situation where this would make your life easier. But I should ask my hubby first as he'll probably be cooking a good portion of it.
And what about those things that I WANT to do and for which I feel a passion but have not yet made time for? Like learning to play piano and guitar. Traveling. Perhaps one day fostering a passion for cooking. There are so many things that this life offers, and I can't possibly do them all and certainly not well. So I'll continue pondering these lists and (hopefully) living them out proudly.
* I wish I could say I give NONE of myself to these people, but I'm still working on that "no" muscle. :)
Me: I'm no good at cooking. I do not enjoy it.
Hubs: Why don't you just embrace this about yourself? I did a long time ago.
Me: silence. hearty laughter
It may sound like a cruel statement to the average listener, but it was actually very freeing for me to hear.
I allow myself to fall under the illusion that I have to be great at everything, particularly those gifts which many stay-at-home moms find themselves possessing, like cooking. Or having clean children. But I'm starting to realize the misery I've been inflicting on myself and those close to me as I strive to be perfect in areas that don't bring me any joy. While I claim to hold the belief that God has created each of us uniquely, I always find myself comparing me to others and coming up short, rather than exploring how He has actually made me.
On the heels of this conversation at home, I was directed to a book entitled Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. In one section of the book, she deals with the "Things I Don't Do", quoting a friend who encouraged her by saying that it's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.
This. Is sheer genius.
And so unbelievably hard to spell out. I don't like to feel like a failure, wimp, weakling, quitter. I have a really, really difficult time admitting that there are some things I just am not good at and don't enjoy. But I love this idea that by admitting and letting go of those things, I will have more room in my life for the things that bring me joy, that God created me to do and love.
And so, here are the lists I have been pondering:
THINGS I DO:
~ I regularly sit at the feet of my Savior, reading His word, talking to and listening to Him. I wish I could say I did this everyday. I am not there yet. But more and more, as I get to know Him, I find that true peace comes from trusting and following Him and that all other areas of my life fall into place.
~I spend time connecting with my husband and growing our relationship, living each day walking with and carrying each other, by turns. I have learned so much about what selfless love is from this man.
~ Each day I try (whoops, sorry Yoda) to give a little more of myself than I did the day before to my children, snuggling and playing and laughing and praying with them, teaching them, watching them grow.
~ I have been blessed with some amazing, giving, wise women in my life and I cherish these friendships and strive to make time for them.
~ My mind and soul are fed through reading and writing - two things I don't give a lot of time to these days but I'm adding them to the "do" list because they really need to be there.
~ I am committed to my church family, thriving on the corporate worship and teaching and service and love I am able to give and receive there.
~ I love for music to infiltrate my life: listening, singing, occasionally playing my violin.
~ And of course there are the have tos: buying groceries, changing diapers, paying bills, laundry/washing dishes/sweeping and vacuuming floors and generally trying to make sure our home is not a danger to our health, because my boys, God love 'em, would probably be pretty content with a bit more squalor than I'm comfortable with.
THINGS I DON'T DO:
~ I don't keep perfect house either in cleanliness, clutter control, or decor. I'll admit to having a once a week cleaning day to exorcise my compulsion for cleanliness, eliminating dishes I've no doubt let pile up, spraying down a bathroom that by all rights should probably just be lit on fire and done with, and vacuuming up crumbs on a carpet that's a lost cause anyway.
~ I don't give much* of myself to people who are negative to a toxic degree or who suck me completely dry. I don't spend time with those who think I'm less of a person because I don't meet their standards or who just won't try to understand where I am in my life right now. For example, the fact that I don't shower everyday or may go a week without wearing makeup. Also, my children are very important to me. If they are too noisy or inconvenient for you right now, we'll probably be going our seperate ways.
~I do not have my children signed up in any and every activity that could conceivably be loved by a child. I would be lying if I said I didn't believe that because of this I have already stripped them of a future in professional sports. But we've tried to give more precedence to just letting them be kids and spending time as a family.
~I do not landscape and barely garden. My husband helps me select things and plant them. I do my darndest to not let them die but this is a yearly crapshoot.
~I do not landscape and barely garden. My husband helps me select things and plant them. I do my darndest to not let them die but this is a yearly crapshoot.
And what about those things that I WANT to do and for which I feel a passion but have not yet made time for? Like learning to play piano and guitar. Traveling. Perhaps one day fostering a passion for cooking. There are so many things that this life offers, and I can't possibly do them all and certainly not well. So I'll continue pondering these lists and (hopefully) living them out proudly.
* I wish I could say I give NONE of myself to these people, but I'm still working on that "no" muscle. :)
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
The Words I Couldn't Speak
What is your only comfort in life and death?*
Color-stained sanctuary
Lily-scented air
Tear-lined cheeks
That I am not my own, but belong - body and soul
To my faithful Savior Jesus Christ
Sun-dappled greenery
Biting chill in the air
Gaping hole
Sealed box
Body and soul
And now we turn to leave you here
Your body
Just turn away
And I keep looking back
Thinking how wrong it feels
To leave you behind
In life and death
Memories
Moments
Love and laughter
Always your laughter
your encouragement
your wisdom
your affirmation
To my faithful Savior Jesus Christ
But it is not you we leave here
It is not you for whom I grieve.
Because I belong to Him,
Christ, by His Holy Spirit,
assures me of eternal life
You are whole
You are rejoicing
You are free
and makes me whole-heartedly willing and ready
from now on
to live for Him.
to live
*Heidelberg Catechism Q and A 1
Color-stained sanctuary
Lily-scented air
Tear-lined cheeks
That I am not my own, but belong - body and soul
To my faithful Savior Jesus Christ
Sun-dappled greenery
Biting chill in the air
Gaping hole
Sealed box
Body and soul
And now we turn to leave you here
Your body
Just turn away
And I keep looking back
Thinking how wrong it feels
To leave you behind
In life and death
Memories
Moments
Love and laughter
Always your laughter
your encouragement
your wisdom
your affirmation
To my faithful Savior Jesus Christ
But it is not you we leave here
It is not you for whom I grieve.
Because I belong to Him,
Christ, by His Holy Spirit,
assures me of eternal life
You are whole
You are rejoicing
You are free
and makes me whole-heartedly willing and ready
from now on
to live for Him.
to live
*Heidelberg Catechism Q and A 1
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Time Marches On
Ok, so check it out. This guy turned seven on March 17: 
Oh, how I want to hold on to these days. And oh, how in true Julie fashion I get all nostalgic and look back and forget about sleeplessness and strong little wills and only see (FINALLY) the light at the end of the "simply surviving" tunnel and realize how quickly it's all going. Anyway, I could go on and on along this vein. You get the picture. You've heard it before.I'm amazed to watch the person this boy is becoming. His energy, his love for Legos and drawing and telling stories, the moments of pride as I watch him teach and oversee and love on his younger brothers, the spiritual connections he's making and how real God is to him even at this young age. It's enough to make a mom forget the meltdowns and frustrations and off-the-wall hyperactivity that can sometimes seem to be the only things making up our days. I am so proud. Not in a "look what I'm doing" kind of way, but in an awe-filled "look what God is giving me a front row seat to" kind of way.
I love you, J. Happy 7th. May God see fit to slow our time with you down JUST a little.
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