Wednesday, March 24, 2010

No Bugs Here! No Pride Either!

Well nothing says embarrassment like the Terminix guy unexpectedly showing up for the quarterly "good riddance to bugs" visit and having the privilege of navigating around my underwear, dirty dishes, and general disarray. For the second time this year.

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Birthday Boy

Five years ago last Wednesday my little man entered the world. If you're at all interested in his birth story, you'll find it here. Here are a few photos of him throughout the years. Have I mentioned how crummy I am about taking pictures? They're not the best. Anyway, I love you, Jeran! I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for us!


First haircut right before birthday #2





Sunday, March 7, 2010

Reality Check

Boy, there's nothing like a little journey through the blogosphere to get one's perspective back in shape. The other night I did just that. You know how it goes: you're on a friend's blog, and over to the right are other blogs they read, so you click on one, and then you find on that person's page another blog and so on and so forth. Through this labyrinth of strangers' personal lives I came across shattering examples of the fallenness of our world: a child lost to a tragic accident, babies born at 24 weeks and, a year later, still struggling to overcome the complications accompanying that, a woman widowed in her 20s, and the list could go on. Of course, there are many joyful occasions that people have blogged about out there too, but some of these more heart-wrenching stories have been sticking with me. At the risk of sounding insensitive, I just have to say in all honesty that it gave me a good dose of perspective. All of you people out there who are willing to share your stories, both pleasant and painful, help me to keep in check with reality: that life is one day at a time and at some point life will most certainly be on the more painful end of the spectrum, so these days that hold, overall, joy, should be cherished. And those things that seem so tough to me right now? Maybe handled with a little more grace and a little less whining on my blog. :)

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Invisible Mom

I received this via email from one of the BEST moms (and friends) in my life, and it really moved me. I needed desperately this reminder that what I am doing has a far greater purpose than I can see now. I guess it kind of refocused me on what is important in my life - I don't have to "do it all" or be the put-together mom (which I am SO not, and that's for another post altogether). I CAN (and do) acknowledge that this job is harder than anything I have yet faced in my life and recognize that I need to love my kids with the love that God has already lavished on me.

Thank you, Steph, for sending this encouragement my way!!!



It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' Some days I'm a crystal ball; 'Where's my other sock?, Where's my phone?, What's for dinner?'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history, music and literature -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . She had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when she turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devoured - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: 1) No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. 2) These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. 3) They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. 4) The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A story of legend in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, no Cub Scout meeting, no last minute errand is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, he’d say, 'You're gonna love it there...'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible mothers.
Great Job, MOM!
Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know... I just did.
The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
This is beautiful and makes a ton of sense.
To all the wonderful mothers out there!!