Back in college, James and his roommates would jokingly (lovingly?) refer to their television as the "supreme ruler", owing to the significance of time it held over the apartment-at-large's daily schedule. We would laugh and laugh over the affection and esteem with which the almighty screen was held.
Well, it ain't so funny anymore.
For a long time now there's been a niggling, gnawing fear growing in my mind that we are a bit screen-addicted. When this guilty realization would begin to rear its ugly head I would do what any mature adult would do.
Justify.
"We're not as bad as a lot of other people. Probably."
"My kids aren't affected by it."
"The boys know when to cut themselves off. They barely even watch when it's on."
"It's EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMMING!"
These excuses have grown increasingly weak, and their inability to hold my conscience at bay has loomed over me in recent days. The t.v and computer screens in our household have very much become (gulp) supreme in their monopoly of our time and attention. And if I am honest for just one second I know that there are a number of reasons for that, not the least of which is the fact that it makes my life easier. When I need to get stuff done or want the boys to quit fighting it's SO stinkin' easy to ask them what they want to watch or play on the computer. And I can catch an extra half hour, easy, of sleep in the morning because they can get up and just switch on the Babysitter.
The educational excuse held up pretty solidly until recently, but PBS Kids has been replaced in a greater capacity by Transformers, G.I. Joe, Phineas and Ferb (ok, ok, I can concede the remote value of this one. I love that Dr. Doofenshmirtz!), Power Rangers (have mercy), and some Dragon Ball show that screams anime and makes zero sense to me (it might help if I watched more than thirty seconds of it though). It has been growing harder to ignore the increase in energetic wrestling, fighting,swordplay, and overall aggression in my home in direct proprotion to the growing number of hours spent in front of these shows, not to mention how much harder it seems to be lately for the boys to focus on anything, Jeran's almost nightly bad dreams, and the general feeling of unrest in our home.
I cannot only point fingers at the out-of-control screen habits of the children in this household (and really, whose fault are those anyway?). In the evenings, James and I choose to unwind with a libation of some type and a t.v. show/movie. We are SO.FREAKING.TIRED by the end of the day due to the demands of his job, and my hours upon hours of meeting little people needs that it's about all we can do to crawl to our bedroom and reach for the remote. (Yes. I know. T.V. in our room. Something I said I would never have. Proving once again, never say never.)
Let's digress from the television a minute and talk about the number of hours per day I am attached to my computer. Suffice it to say, carpal tunnel syndrome is becoming a real danger. Oh sure, I can excuse myself with protests of needing it for work, a connection to the outside world (Stay-at-Home-Mom Syndrome), primary form of communication. But the hard truth is I check Facebook about 15 times a day. And let's not get into the time spent on Pinterest.
This all plays into the time I've spent wondering lately what it is I want for my life/our family life. More importantly, what does God want for us, but our minds, hearts, and home aren't quiet long enough for us to hear Him? What do I want my children to learn about time and priorities? What do I need to learn about these things?
I think it might be time for something drastic. It may be time for a screen fast. And so, the Plan, such as it is, is to partake in a Great Screen Wean - taking a break from our t.vs and computer for the duration of next week.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! you say. How about "all things in moderation"? A complete break from t.v. and computer? For a WEEK?! I hear you. These are all the same thoughts my own head has been screaming at me the past several days. Generally, we live our lives according to moderation in all things. But there are certain areas of my life in which I don't seem to be able to apply this principle. The use of t.v. and computer being one of them.
I guess, too, I just want to be able to prove to myself that I can do it. That I'm not a complete and utter addict to technology. And also, I want to see some changes made within our family and myself. And change requres ACTION.
I'm still fleshing out in my mind how this is all going to come together specifically. For now I leave you with a request for any words of encouragement/wisdom/suggestion, and a quote from Aristotle:
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." OR, as my very wise husband paraphrased it: "You are what you do everyday".
I don't want to be a boob (tube).
3 comments:
Good luck with this. I've gine w/out computers for up to a week. Catching up w/emails are the worst. Can't wait to hear how it goes!
DO IT!! I had similar issues w/ E, the whining, the constantly asking for TV was driving me nuts. We switched over to a marble system (which took a ton of work at first, because basically I put marbles in a small jar for good behavior, helping, politeness, and when the jar was full (and only then), he got to watch two shows, so basically 1 hr of TV. Because it took so long for the jar to fill (I would "help" it occasionally, but usually every 2-3 days), he came to understand that the only way he would get to watch TV was by earning it. It was hard for the first week or so, but totally worth it. Now we've switched over to a summer job chart with stickers, same basic idea, but it allows for each day to be a new start, with maximum TV each day at 1/2 hr. He knows that the TV is related to what he does, and doesn't ask for it other times. I also, by the way, stopped letting him watch certain shows because they were too violent, and told him exactly that, so if you feel like certain shows are the problem, cut those out. Hope that helps at least a little!
My main realization (which it sounds like you have realized as well): This will be way harder on you than it is on them, but is totally worth it in the end with improved behavior and LESS TV!! My kids actually play by themselves now for more than 5 minutes, which I was starting to doubt could actually happen.
Rae, I love that you brought up the earning of screen time! I've been thinking about what happens AFTER this week, and I really want to apply that, emphasizing to the kids that t.v. is more of a privilege rather than a "right". Thanks for the suggestions!
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