35

So people say that you're only as old as you feel.  That's cool and all, but the last couple of years I mostly don't feel a day over 70. (My apologies for that statement to the energetic, healthy, non-stop 70-year-olds in my life.) 
I hit the big 3-5 Monday. I don't really have much to say about that. It passed fairly uneventfully: some uplifting bday greetings from all my Facebook peeps, a few cards in the mail, Chinese food for dinner, lots of hugs and kisses from my boys, flowers from my man. These things were all wonderful, but I was left with a lot of the day to dwell on life and the past 35 years and gave much thought to the rest of my life that's before, though God only truly knows the number of my days.
All of this think-think-thinking led me to one conclusion, one that I posted confidently as my Facebook status in the morning but came to truly believe by the end of the day:
Age is just a number. 
Numbers frighten me (thank you, 6th-12 grade math for that). More specifically, time frightens me.  I've never had a good handle on time as it relates to the present. I constantly find myself waffling between living in the past (steeped in nostalgia and/or regret) or the future (anxious and anticipating). And as I find more and more of my years behind me, I start to feel a little overwhelmed and panicked by it all.  And you know what? I don't want my life to be quantified by something so insignificant and fickle as years.
I want my life to be counted according to things that MATTER.
-1 God who is my loving Father and the ultimate guiding presence in my life. I want my obedience to and love for Him to become headstone-worthy in the days/weeks/months/years I have left.
-1 husband and the loving sacrifices I am willing to make to put him above myself
-3 boys and the men that they will become
-2 schools which are home to my boys' education right now. What difference will be measured in the lives of the teachers, staff, students, families here because we choose to be an encouraging presence?
-13 states in the continental U.S. (and 2 Canadian provinces!) across which are scattered the immense number of family and friends who I am blessed to have love me.
-14.9 square miles of town in which I live and thousands of people within them. In what ways is God calling me to be a light in dark places? In how many of those lives will God call me to make a difference?
-90 members (approximately) of my church family who feed into my life and with whom I am privileged to serve

Going forward I commit to not allowing the number of years behind or ahead of me dictate the meaning that my life holds. For, as Abraham Lincoln once wisely said, "...in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Mom of the Year

Crikies!  I have a three-year-old!  And I have not so much as made MENTION of it!
My boy's birthday was sadly overshadowed by the passing of my grampa about a month ago now. Wow.  A month already. And wouldn't you know it, in the midst of all that it was my gramma who reminded me of the boy's birthday. Amazing.
So, yes. My boy. Grayson. You can read about his entrance into the world, should you so choose, here.
What can I say about this kid?  If I could freeze him at this age I definitely would. I probably would have done that about a year and a half ago already. But definitely now. He has me in stitches all. the. time.  He is constantly on the move but easygoing. Loving and kind - it's amazing to me how tuned in he is to others' feelings even at this young age. I still call him my baby, and most of the time he's content to let me treat him as such.  I try to pick him up and tote him around and then remember that he's a tank at 39 pounds and must concede that he's a big boy now. To top it all off he's been out of diapers for about two weeks now and doing a marvelous job with the whole potty situation. While his entrance into our family was not so much a planned event (on our part, anyhow), I CANNOT imagine our world without him. I think I can safely say that for the rest of my boys as well.
We did get a chance to celebrate my little love with a bowling excursion which, surprisingly, turned out to be more fun than harrowing. I'm telling ya, we're on the very cusp of the great years with these guys. Check out our fun:

Ready to bowl, baby!

Look at that form!





Can I just say that James filled out the form with all our names? Yikes.



Yes, that's right - James and Jeran tied.  And I was beat by a 7 and 4 year old.



Happy Birthday, Grayson!  And hooray for bowling!

 Other photos, just to prove that this big boy was once a baby.

A ham, now and forever

Time Marches On

Ok, so check it out. This guy turned seven on March 17:

Oh, how I want to hold on to these days. And oh, how in true Julie fashion I get all nostalgic and look back and forget about sleeplessness and strong little wills and only see (FINALLY) the light at the end of the "simply surviving" tunnel and realize how quickly it's all going. Anyway, I could go on and on along this vein. You get the picture. You've heard it before.I'm amazed to watch the person this boy is becoming. His energy, his love for Legos and drawing and telling stories, the moments of pride as I watch him teach and oversee and love on his younger brothers, the spiritual connections he's making and how real God is to him even at this young age. It's enough to make a mom forget the meltdowns and frustrations and off-the-wall hyperactivity that can sometimes seem to be the only things making up our days. I am so proud. Not in a "look what I'm doing" kind of way, but in an awe-filled "look what God is giving me a front row seat to" kind of way.

I love you, J. Happy 7th. May God see fit to slow our time with you down JUST a little.