35

So people say that you're only as old as you feel.  That's cool and all, but the last couple of years I mostly don't feel a day over 70. (My apologies for that statement to the energetic, healthy, non-stop 70-year-olds in my life.) 
I hit the big 3-5 Monday. I don't really have much to say about that. It passed fairly uneventfully: some uplifting bday greetings from all my Facebook peeps, a few cards in the mail, Chinese food for dinner, lots of hugs and kisses from my boys, flowers from my man. These things were all wonderful, but I was left with a lot of the day to dwell on life and the past 35 years and gave much thought to the rest of my life that's before, though God only truly knows the number of my days.
All of this think-think-thinking led me to one conclusion, one that I posted confidently as my Facebook status in the morning but came to truly believe by the end of the day:
Age is just a number. 
Numbers frighten me (thank you, 6th-12 grade math for that). More specifically, time frightens me.  I've never had a good handle on time as it relates to the present. I constantly find myself waffling between living in the past (steeped in nostalgia and/or regret) or the future (anxious and anticipating). And as I find more and more of my years behind me, I start to feel a little overwhelmed and panicked by it all.  And you know what? I don't want my life to be quantified by something so insignificant and fickle as years.
I want my life to be counted according to things that MATTER.
-1 God who is my loving Father and the ultimate guiding presence in my life. I want my obedience to and love for Him to become headstone-worthy in the days/weeks/months/years I have left.
-1 husband and the loving sacrifices I am willing to make to put him above myself
-3 boys and the men that they will become
-2 schools which are home to my boys' education right now. What difference will be measured in the lives of the teachers, staff, students, families here because we choose to be an encouraging presence?
-13 states in the continental U.S. (and 2 Canadian provinces!) across which are scattered the immense number of family and friends who I am blessed to have love me.
-14.9 square miles of town in which I live and thousands of people within them. In what ways is God calling me to be a light in dark places? In how many of those lives will God call me to make a difference?
-90 members (approximately) of my church family who feed into my life and with whom I am privileged to serve

Going forward I commit to not allowing the number of years behind or ahead of me dictate the meaning that my life holds. For, as Abraham Lincoln once wisely said, "...in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."