Another calendar year has come and gone. At this time last year I was just about 5 months pregnant with our latest boy, yawning mightily as we attempted to see midnight. Hmmm, this year might not be too much different except for that whole pregnant part. Recent events have me reflecting on 2009 and wondering about 2010. By recent events I mean the whining and ranting I did here . The day following these whinings and rantings my hubby asked me as he was leaving for work whether I thought it was going to be a good day or a bad day, and I replied that the day would be whatever it would be. Somehow at that moment those words struck me as profound. Truly, the day was going to go in whatever direction the Lord led it. It was completely out of my hands. As is true of every day. What IS within my control is how I respond to each situation, whether it be crisis, inconvenience, or all according to how I planned. And so I enter into 2010 using the wisdom of this startling revelation. I need to let go of whatever expectations and perceptions I have of what each day "should be" and exercise enough flexibility that I can embrace what each moment IS. Sounds like a tall order. Perhaps now is not the right time to enact my "give up caffeine" resolution.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Traditions
You may not be aware that on Tuesday night I was a featured singer in a production of Handel's Messiah. Well, not a featured singer so much as a member of a thousand-person amateur chorus. Regardless, singing in the Do-It-Yourself Messiah has been a favorite Christmas tradition for the past six or so years. As I sat amidst my fellow enthusiasts, participating heartily in the alto line, letting the vocal and instrumental solos wash over me and lead me into praise of my Savior, I reflected on Christmas traditions. So I present to you this non-comprehensive list. Whether they are brand new, years old, or just in theory at this point, these are some of the traditions in our home and family.
- Advent calendars: this one I grew up with and began with our kids this year. I wish I could say that everyday we opened our little window, read the story/verse, and had meaningful discourse about the reason for the season. As it is I think we accomplished 5 total days, opening about 5 windows each of those days. And even then the boys were more interested in the pieces of chocolate that lay within the windows. Anyway, it's a great way to anticipate Christmas Day and a great teaching tool for the young ones.
- Advent wreath/candles: I always loved this tradition in church and my home growing up. I love how this tradition lends itself to reflection on the meaning of this season and application for my own life. My grandpa made me a beautiful wreath a few years ago which I finally adorned with some decoration this year. However, the candles were MIA, so I guess I need to get on the ball with that one next year.
- Music: As soon as Thanksgiving hits I finally feel justified in pulling out the Christmas tunes, and they play non-stop through New Year's. Favorite albums: Casting Crowns "Peace on Earth", Chris Tomlin "Glory in the Highest", The soundtrack to "A Charlie Brown Christmas", Andrew Peterson "Behold the Lamb of God", Handel's Messiah.
The Do-It-Yourself Messiah I alluded to. It's held downtown and beautifully orchestrated and directed. It's such a treat (and, at times, a feat) to be able to participate in the choral pieces. Beautiful.
I think that this year also marked the first year of Christmas karaoke, eh girls? You know who you are.
- Holiday Magic at Brookfield Zoo: our first year for this tradition was this year. The biggest hits were the polar bear and the huuuuuge indoor train set. Oh yeah, and all the lights of course.
- Giving: James's family started the tradition several years back of donating to CRWRC. What's cool about donating to this cause (Christian Reformed World Relief Committee) is that they send out a catalog each Christmas season and you can select specifically to what you would like to give, anything from goats, to clean drinking water, to education. This Christmas we're looking forward to getting Jeran involved in making our choice.
-Movies: the list of yearly must-sees includes It's a Wonderful Life, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Charlie Brown Christmas, and A Christmas Story.
-Decorating: we're usually in Michigan for Thanksgiving, but as soon as possible after we return home I fire up the Christmas music and pull out the decorations. While we didn't have a tree this year (don't even get me started) we got to help decorate my mom's, and the boys absolutely loved it!
-Baking: those of you who know me well are probably blinking in confusion at your screen right now. I don't really bake. I ruin most things I bake. But for some inexplicable reason I was seized by the desire to try my hand at holiday goodies. Successful yummies were orange-cranberry bread/muffins and peanut butter blossoms (the peanut butter cookie with the Hershey's kiss adorning the top). Nothing fancy but I was pretty darn proud of myself. I'd like to give props to my hubby who helped perfect the recipes and, as usual, taught me a thing or two about work in the kitchen.
Writing: I like to update family and friends on our goings-on via the Louwerse Christmas Crossword which has been a tradition for six years running. This blog may end up making such an update obsolete. Time will tell.
May you enjoy a blessed Christmas and whatever your traditions, may they be filled with faith, family, and friendship. Merry Christmas!
- Advent calendars: this one I grew up with and began with our kids this year. I wish I could say that everyday we opened our little window, read the story/verse, and had meaningful discourse about the reason for the season. As it is I think we accomplished 5 total days, opening about 5 windows each of those days. And even then the boys were more interested in the pieces of chocolate that lay within the windows. Anyway, it's a great way to anticipate Christmas Day and a great teaching tool for the young ones.
- Advent wreath/candles: I always loved this tradition in church and my home growing up. I love how this tradition lends itself to reflection on the meaning of this season and application for my own life. My grandpa made me a beautiful wreath a few years ago which I finally adorned with some decoration this year. However, the candles were MIA, so I guess I need to get on the ball with that one next year.
- Music: As soon as Thanksgiving hits I finally feel justified in pulling out the Christmas tunes, and they play non-stop through New Year's. Favorite albums: Casting Crowns "Peace on Earth", Chris Tomlin "Glory in the Highest", The soundtrack to "A Charlie Brown Christmas", Andrew Peterson "Behold the Lamb of God", Handel's Messiah.
The Do-It-Yourself Messiah I alluded to. It's held downtown and beautifully orchestrated and directed. It's such a treat (and, at times, a feat) to be able to participate in the choral pieces. Beautiful.
I think that this year also marked the first year of Christmas karaoke, eh girls? You know who you are.
- Holiday Magic at Brookfield Zoo: our first year for this tradition was this year. The biggest hits were the polar bear and the huuuuuge indoor train set. Oh yeah, and all the lights of course.
- Giving: James's family started the tradition several years back of donating to CRWRC. What's cool about donating to this cause (Christian Reformed World Relief Committee) is that they send out a catalog each Christmas season and you can select specifically to what you would like to give, anything from goats, to clean drinking water, to education. This Christmas we're looking forward to getting Jeran involved in making our choice.
-Movies: the list of yearly must-sees includes It's a Wonderful Life, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Charlie Brown Christmas, and A Christmas Story.
-Decorating: we're usually in Michigan for Thanksgiving, but as soon as possible after we return home I fire up the Christmas music and pull out the decorations. While we didn't have a tree this year (don't even get me started) we got to help decorate my mom's, and the boys absolutely loved it!
-Baking: those of you who know me well are probably blinking in confusion at your screen right now. I don't really bake. I ruin most things I bake. But for some inexplicable reason I was seized by the desire to try my hand at holiday goodies. Successful yummies were orange-cranberry bread/muffins and peanut butter blossoms (the peanut butter cookie with the Hershey's kiss adorning the top). Nothing fancy but I was pretty darn proud of myself. I'd like to give props to my hubby who helped perfect the recipes and, as usual, taught me a thing or two about work in the kitchen.
Writing: I like to update family and friends on our goings-on via the Louwerse Christmas Crossword which has been a tradition for six years running. This blog may end up making such an update obsolete. Time will tell.
May you enjoy a blessed Christmas and whatever your traditions, may they be filled with faith, family, and friendship. Merry Christmas!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
The Happy Medium
I'm wondering if there is such a thing as a happy medium in this life as a parent to young children. I feel that each day swings between extremes with not much time spent in that calm, contented, middle-of-the-road place. The two comments I hear most from people, strangers and loved ones alike, are as follows:
"Oh, these are the best years of your life! Someday you will look back on them and be so sad that they're gone!"
"Wow, three boys; you are a busy lady. Hang in there! It gets better!"
I don't begrudge anyone their opinion on these matters. In fact, I'm sure there's more than a little truth to these statements. What I'm left wondering is, is this my only option? To hang on for dear life to each day that is alternately whizzing and dragging by me, wondering when the craziness will let up, and at the same time looking forward to a future of regret that said craziness is past and my children are gone?
To be clear: I do love my life. My husband. My children. My friends and family. I love that I am able to be home exclusively as a mom right now and not have to be torn in 100 different directions outside the home. I love my boys' energy and laughter. And I know that one day I most certainly will look back with a modicum of fond nostalgia on these days. However, I'm exhausted, people. All. the. time. A typical day includes, but is not limited to: breaking up fights, doling out punishments resulting from these fights, playing, reading, planning meals, making meals, cleaning up meals, wiping faces, wiping noses, wiping butts, preventing accidents, healing boo-boos from accidents I failed to prevent, hugging, kissing, and just in general spending every single second of my day meeting somebody's needs because somebody does need me. All. the. time.
Again, allow me to clarify that in no way do I view every item on the above list as a negative nor am I complaining (ok, I'm complaining a little) about fulfilling the duties on this list. I fully recognize that these are in my job description as a mom. What I'm trying to get at is that I am needed every second of the day. With few exceptions (although there are exceptions; nap times on preschool days for example). I feel like there's barely a time in the day when I slow down. Not only that but all of my boys are at very challenging stages and, each in his own way, has a challenging personality. So while I often enjoy this stage of life, it seems that more often I just feel tired and frazzled. But I don't want to wish this time away because apparently there will come a day when my selective memory will recall only the happy moments, and I'll be afloat on a sea of regret that the time has passed (well, ok, that's probably a little melodramatic, but you know me. That's how I roll).
Here's my bottom line. It's just hard right now. I know that MANY of you reading this are in the same boat or vividly remember being there. And I know that things will in many ways get better and in other ways will be just as hard in a different way. Each season of life has its ups and downs, its joys and challenges. And so once again I recommit to living life one day, nay, one minute at a time. It's all we're given. And God has given each moment to be lived in light of His grace, in whatever life situation He has deemed right and true.
And now time for my disclaimer: my husband rules, y'all. He is truly, without fail, doubt, or exception, the BEST man I know. He daily teaches me the meaning of selflessness, not just because of what he does for me and our sons but for what he does for and how he views all other people. But let's get back to what he does for our family. He does it all. Whatever it takes. Our motto has always been that we are a team, and our marriage has really never been limited to typical gender roles. In light of this, I feel that I must certainly have ended up with the long end of the stick. Not only does he act as handyman, lawn maintainer, etc., but he also cooks like a champ, changes diapers, insists that I get time alone or with friends particularly at the end of those ultra-rough days, gets up with children in the middle of the night, and just in general looks out for the welfare of every member of our family. Without him I would no doubt be a muttering, twitching pile of insanity in the fetal position behind a locked door. So I say, thank you, honey. For understanding me. For being on this wild ride with me. For doing whatever it takes. And for still loving me when I don't. Our boys are so blessed to have you for their father, and I am so blessed to call you not only my husband but my best friend as well.
"Oh, these are the best years of your life! Someday you will look back on them and be so sad that they're gone!"
"Wow, three boys; you are a busy lady. Hang in there! It gets better!"
I don't begrudge anyone their opinion on these matters. In fact, I'm sure there's more than a little truth to these statements. What I'm left wondering is, is this my only option? To hang on for dear life to each day that is alternately whizzing and dragging by me, wondering when the craziness will let up, and at the same time looking forward to a future of regret that said craziness is past and my children are gone?
To be clear: I do love my life. My husband. My children. My friends and family. I love that I am able to be home exclusively as a mom right now and not have to be torn in 100 different directions outside the home. I love my boys' energy and laughter. And I know that one day I most certainly will look back with a modicum of fond nostalgia on these days. However, I'm exhausted, people. All. the. time. A typical day includes, but is not limited to: breaking up fights, doling out punishments resulting from these fights, playing, reading, planning meals, making meals, cleaning up meals, wiping faces, wiping noses, wiping butts, preventing accidents, healing boo-boos from accidents I failed to prevent, hugging, kissing, and just in general spending every single second of my day meeting somebody's needs because somebody does need me. All. the. time.
Again, allow me to clarify that in no way do I view every item on the above list as a negative nor am I complaining (ok, I'm complaining a little) about fulfilling the duties on this list. I fully recognize that these are in my job description as a mom. What I'm trying to get at is that I am needed every second of the day. With few exceptions (although there are exceptions; nap times on preschool days for example). I feel like there's barely a time in the day when I slow down. Not only that but all of my boys are at very challenging stages and, each in his own way, has a challenging personality. So while I often enjoy this stage of life, it seems that more often I just feel tired and frazzled. But I don't want to wish this time away because apparently there will come a day when my selective memory will recall only the happy moments, and I'll be afloat on a sea of regret that the time has passed (well, ok, that's probably a little melodramatic, but you know me. That's how I roll).
Here's my bottom line. It's just hard right now. I know that MANY of you reading this are in the same boat or vividly remember being there. And I know that things will in many ways get better and in other ways will be just as hard in a different way. Each season of life has its ups and downs, its joys and challenges. And so once again I recommit to living life one day, nay, one minute at a time. It's all we're given. And God has given each moment to be lived in light of His grace, in whatever life situation He has deemed right and true.
And now time for my disclaimer: my husband rules, y'all. He is truly, without fail, doubt, or exception, the BEST man I know. He daily teaches me the meaning of selflessness, not just because of what he does for me and our sons but for what he does for and how he views all other people. But let's get back to what he does for our family. He does it all. Whatever it takes. Our motto has always been that we are a team, and our marriage has really never been limited to typical gender roles. In light of this, I feel that I must certainly have ended up with the long end of the stick. Not only does he act as handyman, lawn maintainer, etc., but he also cooks like a champ, changes diapers, insists that I get time alone or with friends particularly at the end of those ultra-rough days, gets up with children in the middle of the night, and just in general looks out for the welfare of every member of our family. Without him I would no doubt be a muttering, twitching pile of insanity in the fetal position behind a locked door. So I say, thank you, honey. For understanding me. For being on this wild ride with me. For doing whatever it takes. And for still loving me when I don't. Our boys are so blessed to have you for their father, and I am so blessed to call you not only my husband but my best friend as well.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Jeran's Letter to Santa
As dictated to Mommy:
"Dear Santa: Did you have a good day? My mommy says it's o.k. for me to have a present. Thanks for visiting me when it is Christmas Day. I like Thomas trains so much. Thanks Santa. Thanks for snow and for all the food you give us and for chips. Thank you. The end."
Note to reader: The above is a condensed but accurate version of the original dictated letter. Edited out were a few more declarations of love for Thomas, profuse thank yous, and so on and so forth. You get the gist.
Reformed portion of letter after having a conversation with Mommy:
"Santa: Thanks for all that you do and give us, but God is the one who gives us food and things like that. Thank you. Good-bye."
"Dear Santa: Did you have a good day? My mommy says it's o.k. for me to have a present. Thanks for visiting me when it is Christmas Day. I like Thomas trains so much. Thanks Santa. Thanks for snow and for all the food you give us and for chips. Thank you. The end."
Note to reader: The above is a condensed but accurate version of the original dictated letter. Edited out were a few more declarations of love for Thomas, profuse thank yous, and so on and so forth. You get the gist.
Reformed portion of letter after having a conversation with Mommy:
"Santa: Thanks for all that you do and give us, but God is the one who gives us food and things like that. Thank you. Good-bye."
Thursday, December 10, 2009
December Baby
Happy birthday to Ben, happy birthday to Ben, happy birthday to Beeeeeeeeeennnnnnn! Happy birthday to Ben!
Today he is 2 years old. Dang! Time really does fly, as they say. I don't think I've ever recounted my boy's birth story. So to be fair and not perpetuate that old stereotype of the overlooked middle child I will recount it for you here.
My due date with Ben was December 22. Perfect, since I was teaching at the time and this date fell on the first Saturday of Christmas break. To be safe, I did have my long-term sub all lined up and on deck. I vividly remember seeing her in the school office on a Friday with two weeks of school to go and her saying something to the affect of, "Don't you go into labor on me these next couple of weeks!" We chuckled and I told her Jeran was late, so I wasn't too concerned. With that said, however, something possessed me that weekend (nesting instinct?) to compile sub plans for the remaining two weeks of school. I can recall berating myself for spending so much time on it when they wouldn't even be used. God must have been chuckling over that one.
On Monday morning I arose ready to face a new day and week of winter wonderful with my students. I distinctly remember awakening into semi-conscious at around 5:30 a.m. and thinking that it was a little wet "down there". Wetter than it should have been. I don't really know what the "normal" gauge is for something like that, but we probably don't really want to go there do we? Anyhoo, I shrugged it off and stepped into the shower. Upon stepping out of the shower I knew there was something distinctly different going on with my body than most days. I'll save you all any gory details, but suffice it to say that there was more than just shower water dampening the bathroom rug. Still, I could not bring myself to admit what was really going on here and proceeded to get dressed for my day. 3 outfits later I finally woke James up and told him I was pretty sure my water was breaking. This revelation was followed by, "I need to call Laura and tell her I won't be in. I should also email over my sub plans." James replied calmly, "Maybe you should call the doctor first." What sage advice.
After this everything is kind of a blur. I know we grabbed things (including Jeran) and got in the car (me perched atop a pile of towels and having to change clothes again before leaving), drove to the hospital (after making sure school knew I wouldn't be there), and traded JJ off to our wonderful friend Jeanne who drove down to get him and watched him until my mom could make it out. I was feeling good (though still leaky). No contractions, excited to meet my newest boy, still in shock that he was coming two weeks early. The remainder of my labor was equally uneventful. I got an epidural when the pain began (have I mentioned before how low my pain tolerance is? I wish there was a metaphor that could do it justice), pushed for about 45 minutes, and delivered our Benji at around 2:30 in the afternoon. I have often said that our children's births seem to have been a foreshadowing of their personalities. Laid back is how Ben entered the world and laid back he remains. And two years later it's unfathomable that we ever lived a life that did not contain him and his contagious, effervescent joy.
Today he is 2 years old. Dang! Time really does fly, as they say. I don't think I've ever recounted my boy's birth story. So to be fair and not perpetuate that old stereotype of the overlooked middle child I will recount it for you here.
My due date with Ben was December 22. Perfect, since I was teaching at the time and this date fell on the first Saturday of Christmas break. To be safe, I did have my long-term sub all lined up and on deck. I vividly remember seeing her in the school office on a Friday with two weeks of school to go and her saying something to the affect of, "Don't you go into labor on me these next couple of weeks!" We chuckled and I told her Jeran was late, so I wasn't too concerned. With that said, however, something possessed me that weekend (nesting instinct?) to compile sub plans for the remaining two weeks of school. I can recall berating myself for spending so much time on it when they wouldn't even be used. God must have been chuckling over that one.
On Monday morning I arose ready to face a new day and week of winter wonderful with my students. I distinctly remember awakening into semi-conscious at around 5:30 a.m. and thinking that it was a little wet "down there". Wetter than it should have been. I don't really know what the "normal" gauge is for something like that, but we probably don't really want to go there do we? Anyhoo, I shrugged it off and stepped into the shower. Upon stepping out of the shower I knew there was something distinctly different going on with my body than most days. I'll save you all any gory details, but suffice it to say that there was more than just shower water dampening the bathroom rug. Still, I could not bring myself to admit what was really going on here and proceeded to get dressed for my day. 3 outfits later I finally woke James up and told him I was pretty sure my water was breaking. This revelation was followed by, "I need to call Laura and tell her I won't be in. I should also email over my sub plans." James replied calmly, "Maybe you should call the doctor first." What sage advice.
After this everything is kind of a blur. I know we grabbed things (including Jeran) and got in the car (me perched atop a pile of towels and having to change clothes again before leaving), drove to the hospital (after making sure school knew I wouldn't be there), and traded JJ off to our wonderful friend Jeanne who drove down to get him and watched him until my mom could make it out. I was feeling good (though still leaky). No contractions, excited to meet my newest boy, still in shock that he was coming two weeks early. The remainder of my labor was equally uneventful. I got an epidural when the pain began (have I mentioned before how low my pain tolerance is? I wish there was a metaphor that could do it justice), pushed for about 45 minutes, and delivered our Benji at around 2:30 in the afternoon. I have often said that our children's births seem to have been a foreshadowing of their personalities. Laid back is how Ben entered the world and laid back he remains. And two years later it's unfathomable that we ever lived a life that did not contain him and his contagious, effervescent joy.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The diet starts tomorrow
You know the 30s are catching up to you when your oldest child snuggles up next to you, pats your belly, and states excitedly, "You're having another baby, Mom!" Not that I won't readily admit I have thus far been blessed in the area of fast metabolism, but it is a little wake-up call that a few sit-ups a day (and perhaps a few less mini Reeses' peanut butter cups) couldn't hurt.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Hello December
Winter coat: $4 (gotta love the Timothy resale)
Boots: $20
Hat and mittens: $14
Playing outside on the first of December without all that crap: Priceless
Friday, November 13, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Halloween Scrooge Reforms....sort of
I will admit that I had a tiny bit of fun on Halloween this year. I still think it's a weird holiday and am wildly uncomfortable with going to stranger's homes and begging for candy (or, in this case, allowing my children to beg for candy). I don't know. Whatever. They were freakin' cute in any case.
It was a whole lot more fun to hand out candy. Rather, it was a whole lot more fun to watch Jeran hand out candy. Each piece was accompanied by an exuberant "hi" and "have a great Halloween!". The social butterfly strikes again.
James and I had our own brand of Halloween fun at our first ever adult Halloween party. Hil-a-ri-ous. The pictures say it all. Is anyone else dork enough to know who we are? I'll give you a hint: boondoggle keychains, moon boots, and loud sighing. It was a flippin' sweet time.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Carrots...check
A picture is worth a thousand words, but I'll just state the obvious: feeding Grayson is quickly becoming an activity requiring full-body protective coverage. For both of us. He's pretty proud of himself though.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Boys 2 Men
I am 100% sincere when I say I am thrilled to be a mom to all boys. I didn't think it would be so, but it is. The only element of co-ruling a kingdom of all males that hurts my heart a bit is that I will never experience the mother-daughter relationship, on the mom end. I know that my relationship with my own mom is very special and have seen the special closeness that my sister-in-law and mom-in-law share. It's just a different, unique, wonderful relationship that seems to grow stronger as we grow older, whereas boys seem to, for the most part, grow up and grow...away. Sniff.
I was mulling over these thoughts again while rocking an upset Benj back to sleep last night. As I cuddled him close and kissed him for the 1,000th time that day (at least) I thought ahead to how one day he and his brothers won't allow me to snuggle them anymore (nor would it be appropriate, I guess, for a 20-something to be sitting on his mother's lap). I won't have the luxury, in the future, of kissing my boys all day everyday. There will come a day when they live out in the world and will, Lord willing, head up their own families. And I felt melancholy about the loss of my close hold on them. Until God whispered to my heart: This is precisely the task I have chosen you for: raising these boys into men. And I felt peace at that. Knowing that God has selected me for this job in the lives of 3 already-incredible, beautiful children. And being blessed with a partner in this task who is selfless, affectionate, and firm with them when he needs to be. And above all, my Lord and Savior who is the ultimate resource for all the ups and downs that are included as I follow through on my job as mom.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to dole out some kisses.
I was mulling over these thoughts again while rocking an upset Benj back to sleep last night. As I cuddled him close and kissed him for the 1,000th time that day (at least) I thought ahead to how one day he and his brothers won't allow me to snuggle them anymore (nor would it be appropriate, I guess, for a 20-something to be sitting on his mother's lap). I won't have the luxury, in the future, of kissing my boys all day everyday. There will come a day when they live out in the world and will, Lord willing, head up their own families. And I felt melancholy about the loss of my close hold on them. Until God whispered to my heart: This is precisely the task I have chosen you for: raising these boys into men. And I felt peace at that. Knowing that God has selected me for this job in the lives of 3 already-incredible, beautiful children. And being blessed with a partner in this task who is selfless, affectionate, and firm with them when he needs to be. And above all, my Lord and Savior who is the ultimate resource for all the ups and downs that are included as I follow through on my job as mom.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to dole out some kisses.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Nightmares, Nephews, and the Halloween Scrooge
Although autumn precedes winter (and just the mention of the "w" word is enough to kick-start my seasonal affective disorder), it is my favorite season. Something about the cooler quality of the sunshine and the crispness of the outer temperature makes me feel, ironically, all warm and fuzzy (or is that the multiple layers I've taken to wearing?). I also love the celebrations of the season which add up to time spent with family: Halloween (though I find I've become somewhat of a Halloween scrooge; more on that later), Thanksgiving, and the promise of Christmas coming. And in the midst of all of this is God's glorious creation awash in marvelous color. He is truly an awesome Creator and this time of year I am reminded of it. Other attributes of God for which I am gratefully in awe right now: His constant provision and unwavering faithfulness.
I am also praising Him as the giver of life since it appears my newest nephew may join the world today. Stay tuned for that exciting news.
Back to the Halloween scrooge discovery. Fond memories of trick-or-treating are tucked away into my childhood nostalgia thanks to a mom and dad that focused on the fun and not foul aspects of this crazy holiday. So I'm stumped as to my "bah humbug" outlook as an adult. Six years ago I was overjoyed that we would be moving into our house right before Halloween. My first opportunity to pass out candy to the neighborhood kids - wahoo! It was all, inexplicably, downhill from there. The following year found us sitting in the pitch black in our house, shades drawn, hunkered down like criminals on the lamb. And even though our house screamed "go away!" kids still rang the doorbell in hopes of sweet treats. To no avail. Luckily we experienced no tricks in retaliation. With the arrival of our own children I vowed not to initiate costumes and candy-begging until they were the ones eagerly asking for it. However, when Jeran was 18 months old, a friend at church offered to let us borrow a costume and other friends invited us to tag along with them on Oct. 31st, so we did. Jeran, of course, was not at all interested, so it was left up to us to sheepishly shuffle up to doors and mumble "trick or treat" followed by "we're with the dinosaur" with a jerk of the head behind us to where Jeran sat in the stroller. 
Fast forward to last year. We broke down and dressed the boys up (adorably, I might add) as a fireman and dalmation.
Jeran LOVED it and has been trick or treating around our house for the last year. So why the continued bad attitude toward Halloween, you might ask? Excellent question, dear reader. This year has been a fiasco of costume debate. A friend of mine has a Thomas the Tank Engine costume her son wore last year which she is willing to lend us. Perfect, I thought. At first, Jeran was on board with this idea (no pun intended. Well, maybe a little.) Then suddenly last week he insisted upon being a scarecrow. When we revisited this plan a few days ago he explained that with that costume he would surely scare people, and he should probably be a fireman again. Wonderful. Especially since I just got rid of last year's costume, genius that I am. Yesterday he came home from school (and this broke my heart) claiming that kids would think he's silly if he dresses up and he doesn't want to be ANYthing. We can't really nail down where this is coming from since I'm sure all the kids in his preschool will be dressing up. I realize girls are hitting puberty at 8 and kids are dressing like teenagers at age 10 and all, but the world hasn't changed so much that costume-wearing is uncool at 4, right? So we finally convinced him to at least stick with being a fireman again, and that's where we are currently. That is, searching for someone from whom we can borrow a costume for this purpose. Know anybody? Also adding to my scrooge-ness was our pumpkin carving fiasco. I won't even go there. Suffice it to say that JAMES AND I had a blast creating our pumpkin friend. Say hi, Sylvester:
One more thing that turns me off to Halloween, I think, is the overzealous decorating of select members of our neighborhood. Their grotesque yard makeovers and obsessive use of blood-splattered displays and disfigured characters is way out of control, to the point that I have to avoid certain streets to protect the overactive imagination of my four-year-old.
Speaking of which, my heart aches for the nightmares which he suffers, probably due to the intensity and sensitivity that are so prevalant in his personality. Each night before bed we pray with him, and he always reminds us to pray for nice dreams. It's been a good lesson on asking the Lord to protect us and giving up to Him the things of which we're fearful. But several times a week the bad dreams persist. He usually remembers them quite vividly too. He hasn't started asking us the hard questions about why, since we've prayed to the Lord, the bad dreams continue. He truly exhibits a child-like faith and persists in prayer, and that is a good lesson for me as well. In the meantime I also need to be more vigilant about limiting things he sees and hears (his dreams have been triggered by everything from an Arthur cartoon to a Thomas book and most recently by a discussion at school about Halloween). At the very least I need to discuss with him these things. I do have to say that the upside to this is his vivid imagination which he uses frequently and which I hope he will continue to use.
Well, my time to update is over and off I must go to lend a hand on exciting projects like yard fertilization and grocery replenishment. At least there is this is glorious sun and the pending arrival of a new baby boy to drive away the pre-winter blahs.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
And Ben
My middle child, often so stereotypically overlooked. Adjectives to describe my not-so-baby boy:
adorable
hilarious
mellow
loving
blankie-lover
blond
cuddler
inquisitive explorer
He's talking more and more, and he and Jeran just have ever-increasing amounts of fun together. He has the ability to be a bright light in a dark day and brings so much joy to our whole family. And who could resist those kissable cheeks?!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Littlest Boy
Heading to bed at 1 a.m. the Saturday before Labor Day I realized it was a year to the MINUTE that we had discovered we were pregnant with Grayson (yes, I took a pregnancy test at one in the morning. Just one of many unexplainable behaviors I've exhibited in my lifetime). I recall staring in groggy disbelief at that crazy little pee-stick, and then doing my husband the privilege of sharing my shock by awakening him with a loudly whispered, "Hey - babe. Wake up. I'm pregnant." To his credit, he handled it VERY graciously. Now here we are a year later, and I CANNOT imagine our family without his squealing, grinning self (see photo above. Couldn't you eat him with a spoon?) His dad and brothers are deeply in love with him as well. Granted, the first three months weren't pretty around here, but what's past is past.
These days Grayson occupies himself with the previously mentioned smiling and squealing, as well as a lot of other typical baby activities such as drooling and spitting up. He's also had rolling over mastered for about 3 weeks, and now takes some great naps since he can safely be on his tummy. The nighttime is still a challenge. Lately he wakes up a couple of times each night, and I find myself tempted to spew a few profanities before tending to his needs, but I practice self-control and bite my tongue. When he looks up and grins as I lean over to pick him up all that irritation melts away anyway. When he's awake he loves to exercise his legs in the exersaucer, roll around, practice holding onto (and chewing) things, and just in general be adorable.
We visited the dr. a couple of weeks ago, and he is at a whopping 90th percentile on the height chart (26 1/4 in.) and 75th on the weight (15 lbs. 12 oz). All in all he is a wonderful, healthy baby, and we praise God for completing our family with him.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
The Biggest Boy
While my boy looks a tad concerned in this picture, have no fear. He was just enormously frustrated that mom wanted to take another picture and he just wanted to GO INSIDE!!! Today was day 1 of preschool. I expected to be met with emotions galore, running the gamut from overjoyed to devastated. Not so. I was completely and totally at peace. I was waiting for a twinge of sadness on my part, a single tear, some sort of melancholy/nostalgic turn of the heart and thoughts of how this marks the end of an era. An era in which I am one of only a handful of people who influences my child's life. An era that marks me as "the best mommy in the whole wide world" (direct quote, by the way) and therefore gives supreme authority to all of the knowledge and information I impart to my child. An era in which I am loved unconditionally and am the "best friend".
Ok, now I'm sad.
It's true. This IS the end of an era. I know that my son starting preschool is a milestone that pales in comparison to a child entering first grade/middle school/high school/college, marrying, bearing children. But his steps into that preschool building today marked the first step on the path that will take him toward all of those milestones and away from me. However, I am overjoyed. And NO, not just because I now get 2 1/2 gloriously peaceful hours three afternoons a week (although, who are we kidding, that IS glorious). I'm overjoyed and at peace because he is ready, and that makes me ready too. I have no doubt that this is the right time and right place for him to be and will spend each day of this school year praying not only for him but his teachers and friends as well, for the part they will play in shaping his life.
JJ continues to be SO loving, joyful, social, intense, and physically active. He is a bundle of life-loving energy who continues to be most interested in trains, building/creating (particularly with Legos or Playdoh), trucks (especially when they're digging in dirt or sand), water, time (I patiently take deep breaths now at the question, "But what time will that be?"), and exhibiting his independence (most notably at a recent visit to a park where the only bathrooms were a port-a-potty. Upon insisting he could accomplish his "business" (and we're not talking pee-pee here, people) on his own in this most infamous of facilities, I let him have a go. Lo and behold, two minutes later, a naked little boy was running around in full view of one of the busiest intersections in this particular suburb. But at least he tried). He also continues to entertain us with the things he says. For example:
After listening to a song with the lyrics: "If you love Jesus....say I do!", this was his request: "Mom, can I have the I love cheese song?" Mom: "The what song?" JJ:"You know, If you love cheese say I do?"
"I had nice dreams last night! One was called "I was at Wendy's ordering food"!"
So, back to preschool: He RAN in the door, had his name tag affixed, RAN to the bathroom to scrub his hands (abandoning his backpack), then RAN to the toys to begin playing. I was proud to hear him introduce himself to a new friend, "Hi, are you Sam? I'm Jeran." And then I heard, "Don't touch my stuff" or something to that effect.
Upon returning from school there was not a lot of detail forthcoming about the afternoon, but I did get out some information about the sandbox, pretzels & juice, and the aforementioned Sam. All in all, a stellar day in the life of a four-year-old. Here's to a successful year ahead!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
A-Camping We Will Go!
Last weekend marked year 10 that my college buds and I have embarked into the wild (and by wild I mean within 2 miles of civilization with modern bathrooms no more than 10 feet away) and together experienced God's wonderous nature while camping. We've come a long way, baby! Our first trip was at a teeny tiny campground bordering a cow pasture (I believe cow tipping was the activity of choice that year) and included a keg. We're MUCH more sophisticated now! This was year #4 that we chose Pokagon State Park in Angola, IN (on the Ohio border). A BEAUTIFUL park with wonderful facilities parked on a sweet little lake.
On Friday James and I left our boys with various generous family members and, cackling as we sped away (sweet freedom!), made the two hour trip to the campground. Upon arrival Friday evening we set up our tent and then spent about 20 minutes sitting in Minnie the Van while we waited for a rain shower to pass. This did not make me feel optimistic about the weekend ahead, I'll admit. However, the clouds did pass, and we enjoyed our first evening around a roaring fire, noshing on pudgie pies and s'mores and basking in the fact that nobody needed us - we could park our heinies in those chairs for the duration of the trip and no one would be maimed or starved in the meantime! Overnight we snoozed (without being awakened! Can I stress enough how much we needed a short break from our offspring?) to the sound of more rain and awoke on Saturday morning to overcast conditions. Again - my optimism felt a bit squelched. As is our tradition, we had rented a pontoon boat to cruise around the lake for the day, and this is generally more enjoyable when you don't have to wear three layers and bring an umbrella. Generally. So we took our sweet time cooking up a sweet camp breakfast and then braved the water. We parked at a sand bar that comes complete with its own restaurant (seriously - a boat that serves up such delicacies as chicken wings, french fries, and sloppy joe. Camping utopia!). The sun did make an appearance for about an hour, and the rain held off, so it was good enough for us! We lasted about 3 hours or so and then returned to camp for showers and a fantabulous dinner of "combos" (another tradition) - Italian beef & Italian sausage accompanied by various salads and drinks. Yum yum. Following dinner, commence...MORE SITTING! It was just glorious. We enjoyed another evening around the fire, catching up, cracking jokes, and just in general making merriment. So much merriment in fact that we got chewed out by the park "rangers". Twice. It's not often that a group of 30-somethings (oh, alright, and a few of you who are still twenty-somethings. Pbbbbbt - that would be me blowing rasperries at you) must be reprimanded in this manner. But hey, you try laughing hysterically with twenty people - not easy to do quietly. I'll admit (and perhaps this was due to the vodka lemonades but I think more to do with just my general euphoria at being with adult (and only adult) friends) it was pretty hilarious to have an individual mysteriously cloaked by early morning darkness not-so-delicately threaten our behinds with campground expulsion and then as he turned to go hear our friend Russ (tucking heartily into a pound of macaroni salad) utter enthusiastically, "This is great potato salad!" Insert more laughter here. For all we know, really, the guy could have been a disgruntled fellow camper. In any case it kind of killed the party atmosphere and so we all turned in. (Disclaimer: I DO, in fact, feel guilty that we perhaps kept awake families and other camping individuals at 1:15 A.M. I know I would have been pretty ticked if it was James and I and our kids and a rowdy group doing their once-a-year freedom-from-children dance were the next site over. So, I do apologize....a little.)
Sunday morning brought with it the realization that camping fun was coming to an end. Again, not in any great hurry, we pulled together another beautiful breakfast, then began the arduous task of breaking camp. Despite my obvious joy, as represented in this post, at being away from the boys for a bit, James and I were both anxious to be reunited with them and to spend a few hours with family before heading back home.
This camping tradition is honestly such a blessing to me. To still be able to join together with 18 close friends, reminisce about days of old, share life's trials and tribulations, and also laugh a LOT is just amazing. I don't know how many times I said, both aloud and in my own mind, how warm and fuzzy I felt for having my friends around (which reminds me that I didn't mention this was the first year that EVERYbody was able to make it!). I am truly blessed by my friendships, both these and others, and I was reminded of it this weekend. Next year will bring a new venue and as we gather at it, who knows what changes we will have experienced. A year seems too long and so some other group traditions are in the works to bring us together more than once a year. In the meantime, I look back fondly on the weekend's revelments and feel all warm and fuzzy once again.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
10 reasons I LOVE being a mom to boys
1) In a pinch, going to the bathroom is a cinch: step 1 - find a fairly secluded or at least waterproof/absorbable area. Step 2 - drop drawers, commence urination. Step 3 - pull up drawers. Liberally apply antibacterial gel. The end.
2) Fart jokes, bodily functions, and substituting the word "tootie" into any well-known tune is acceptable. Oh...wait...that's why JAMES loves being a parent to boys.
3) They have a (I can't even think of an adequate enough adjective!) wonderful, amazing, stupendous role model in their dad! I'm so blessed that they have him to look up to and learn from.
4) I have the opportunity to help turn a few good men out into the world: godly, respectful, hard-working, compassionate, and hopefully with the ability to cook and do their own laundry (you're welcome, future daughters-in-law!).
5) Someday, while my men go out into the world together to bring forth bounteous fish, or to test their strength and reflexes at the admirable sport of golf, I, the lone female in my home, will bask in luxurious hours spent reading without interruption or making my toes pretty.
6) There is no need for arduous exercise regimens. Keeping up with the energy of three boys everyday has me in possibly the best shape of my life.
7) The proud Louwerse name will live on....
8) I won't be breaking the bank on clothing and accessories since the boys' section in any store is about a third of the size of the girls'. And while there are extremely cute things out there for boys, let's face it - they can't compare to tiny capris or shiny patent-leather Mary Janes.
9) I don't have to worry about passing down my non-existent skills in makeup application and hair styling (where WAS I when every other female was learning this?!).
10) Should my attempts at teaching good manners fail, they will probably still be able to squeak by in society on that old adage, "boys will be boys".
Saturday, August 15, 2009
My heart is full...
I am crazy blessed to love and be so loved. See below. (In no particular order and, sadly, not comprehensive since I couldn't find pictures of all of you who have enriched my life.)
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