I am 100% sincere when I say I am thrilled to be a mom to all boys. I didn't think it would be so, but it is. The only element of co-ruling a kingdom of all males that hurts my heart a bit is that I will never experience the mother-daughter relationship, on the mom end. I know that my relationship with my own mom is very special and have seen the special closeness that my sister-in-law and mom-in-law share. It's just a different, unique, wonderful relationship that seems to grow stronger as we grow older, whereas boys seem to, for the most part, grow up and grow...away. Sniff.
I was mulling over these thoughts again while rocking an upset Benj back to sleep last night. As I cuddled him close and kissed him for the 1,000th time that day (at least) I thought ahead to how one day he and his brothers won't allow me to snuggle them anymore (nor would it be appropriate, I guess, for a 20-something to be sitting on his mother's lap). I won't have the luxury, in the future, of kissing my boys all day everyday. There will come a day when they live out in the world and will, Lord willing, head up their own families. And I felt melancholy about the loss of my close hold on them. Until God whispered to my heart: This is precisely the task I have chosen you for: raising these boys into men. And I felt peace at that. Knowing that God has selected me for this job in the lives of 3 already-incredible, beautiful children. And being blessed with a partner in this task who is selfless, affectionate, and firm with them when he needs to be. And above all, my Lord and Savior who is the ultimate resource for all the ups and downs that are included as I follow through on my job as mom.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to dole out some kisses.
3 comments:
Never stop kissing them Jewels--you just gave birth to em not that long ago and you're having moments of missing them already... they will always be momma's boys (Beleive me) :) and u just never know how many 'grandbaby girls' and what type of daughter in laws yo'ure going to inhereit from these boys.. ;) luv robyn.
You speak to my heart so many times! I was just having similar moments of regret recently... thanks so much for sharing them- and look at it this way- when our boys no longer want our hugs and kisses- we can make them fetch us yummy drinks to sip in the backyard- girls would just roll their eyes and be disgusted- boys will always take care of their mommy's....
Julie, ahhh..they do grow up so fast. Where I used to find great joy in rocking Brenen (now on the brink of 16)...it is replaced with the "I love you Mom" as he leaves for school or with the jokes about how much taller he is than me. :) Each stage is challenging and rewarding. Your boys are very blessed to have you as their Mommy. Very blessed. Enjoy their little-ness. :)
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