The Wrap-up...or is it just the beginning?

So, where do we go from here?
Last week was (I believe I've overused this word in my descriptions of it) amazing. A whole different life. One that really didn't cause major upset.  I'll admit that I've been nervous to enter back into "real life", and if I may grossly stretch the analogy, I believe I can relate in some miniscule way to addicts as they have to enter back into their life from "before".  I don't want us to revert back to old habits.  What we have put into place to try and avoid that scenario is this:
1) The boys are now limited to two hours of screen time per day.  One hour in the morning, one hour in the afternoon/evening, and this can only occur after they've completed some responsibilities that we've set out for them (in the morning this involves but is not limited to getting dressed, brushing teeth, some family prayer/devotional time, etc.; in the afternoon, doing some reading).  Today this went...bleh, not to put too fine a point on it. I think it's just a matter of suffering from fun-weekend-hangover and then trying to adjust to yet another new "thing" that mom and dad have come up with. But I'm confident we'll get there.
2) We will be getting rid of our cable, to the extent that only the major networks will be left to us. This will seriously limit choices. We do have Netflix, so there's still that to contend with.  If we find our family is not wise with it we can always give that the boot too.
3) I am going to loosely keep the schedule I was adhering to last week as far as my own internet shenanigans.  Probably a half hour in the morning and evening and then an hour or so in the afternoon for work-type things.
4) James and I have decided we will no longer be "flippers" in the evening, aimlessly scrolling through channels and watching things that have zero interest to us.  We'll only watch if there's something on that we truly want to see.

Hopefully having some structured guidlines, a plan - if you will, can assist us in keeping this monkey off our backs. When school starts we may even amend some of these measures further.
I feel proud that we've done something good for our family, something healthy for our minds and spirits. It inspires me to put some other things in motion for me/us, but I'm not really ready to throw those out there yet.  COWARD!  I know.  For those of you have followed our experiment and who have checked in with us or offered words of encouragement, thank you.  You played a huge part in our success because just knowing that this had the potential for being followed by others kept me accountable.
In other news, Michigan was FAB-U-LOUS. Family fun at its best. A few pics of the good times rollin'.


Family pics are over.  Let the dirt-digging commence!




The Louwerse ladies - takin' over Saugatuck!



Cousins and Big Red

It's Thursday?!

Guys, don't hate on me, but I just don't really have anything different to say here.  I think we my have found pretty darn close to a new way of life.  We do NOT miss our television.  We just don't. Is that to say that I will never watch again? Psshhhh, no. I think part of the reason we don't miss it is because we know this is temporary. HOWEVER.  Never again do I desire to go back to the land of the couch potato where we were previously residing.  There is a lightness and peace that has returned to our home or that maybe is here for the first time, really.  In my first post I mentioned the general unrest that had permeated our existence, and now it's like a fog has lifted.  It feels really corny to say this, but this week has truly been life-changing.
Hm, that's kinda sad.
I guess it's just evidence of how much of a grip these things have had on our lives without us realizing it.
A new realization today: I have not given my children enough credit.  It's me who defaults to the television as entertainment.  I try to head off any interruptions to my agenda at the pass by plunking them down in front of the electronic babysitter. They have shown me this week that they are MORE than capable of finding ways to enjoy life without the screen and have proven to me that when I do have to attend to matters other than them (ie: cleaning the house, which I was actually able to do today without the aid of the Power Rangers), they can handle it out of their own imagination.
I've been mulling over ways that we can make some of these changes stick as the week has gone on.  I'll spell some of those out here in coming days.  Tomorrow we head to Michigan for some fun family time.  James's family/siblings has not been together as one unit in, if my calculations are correct, about six years. So we are beyond excited for the good times that are ahead of us. Certainly better than anything MTV, Food Network, or G.I. Joe could entice us with.
Have a great weekend, y'all.

Day 2

Remember yesterday when I said that my children were relatively unfazed by the amount of time remaining in our screenless week?  Sometime this afternoon Ben decided that five days left was SIGNIFICANT.  Yes, we had our first meltdown this afternoon. However, it was short (especially for Ben who is a marathon whiner), and he quickly went back to business as usual.  I'm not complaining. I had myself geared up for constant requests and complaints this week, and they just haven't happened. I continue to be amazed.
Today involved a trip to the local splash park with some neighborhood friends, and it was definitely helpful to get outta the house for awhile, but the remainder of the day the boys were once again more than satisfied to entertain themselves and each other here at home.  A few hairy moments ensued around dinner time, and that's not unusual.  For whatever reason, that is the time of day at our house when all the crazies come out.  Usually there is much yelling (on both my and the kids' part) and general unproductive attempts at stamping out the fires.  Today I took a deep breath instead and dug into my dollar section back-up plans so that the rest of our time before din-din looked like this:


Thank you, Target.
(Notice the bat on the table. This was NOT being used productively five minutes prior to this photo.)


I realized today how much we've been operating on autopilot (at least, speaking for myself and I think for my better half too). But in the past 48 hours I feel like we've truly been interacting with each other and not just coexisting.  We're eating meals as a family, sharing time together in the evening (rather than the mad rush to just GET THOSE KIDS IN BED ALREADY!), and really observing what's happening with one another. And we're making room.  Room for conversation, connection, creativity (this grammar nerd just LOVES alliteration).  Room for God to speak and to direct our activities.
Nothing's perfect around here, by any means.  But I can't help but speak positively about what's happening so far.  I kind of feel like I just showed up to my own life (is that a song?). I have renewed energy, renewed love for my children, renewed interest in taking an active role in who they're becoming.
What else did I learn about myself today?  I have learned that I have a huge sense of urgency when it comes to communication/information.  I constantly found myself gripped by, "I need to look up that info on the internet RIGHT NOW!" or "That email needs to be written and sent RIGHT NOW!"  And it just isn't so.  One goal I have for myself when we return to "normal" next week is to continue to limit my computer activity to just a couple of specific times during the day.  Minutes and hours rapidly get sucked up when I give myself constant access and free reign, and those minutes and hours I'd rather give to the people in my life.
Speaking of people, I spent the loveliest evening with a special group of women in my life. We started out (the original group, anyway) sharing a career (educating) and a love for reading, and throughout the past nine years have also shared in coming mothers and raising our babies, changing homes, morphing life roles. Some moved on from the group, others entered in, but they are all incredible ladies, and I'm blessed to know them and continue sharing stories, both read and lived. Thanks for the laughter this evening, ladies, and for filling my night with REAL entertainment, not the screen-confined kind.

Day 1

Let me just say that the best way to start your first day of complete separation from all forms of alternative entertainment is NOT to lose three hours of sleep the night before to a screaming migraine. Strike one.  My lofty goal was to awaken before the children this morning (and you've gotta be up MIGHTY early to beat those boys to the punch).  Instead, my barely coherent, slightly comatose self was only remotely cognizant of the fact that they were up and at 'em around 6:30.  This is generally the first time t.v./computer is used in our day (since, let's face it, most mornings find me barely coherent and slightly comatose).  In my twilight-minded state I remember Jeran coming in to ask where the remote was (I had hidden it the night before). After being reminded that this was day one of our no-t.v. adventure, he merely shrugged and went to haul out his Legos.
This reaction was enough to cause one of my eyelids to sloooooooowly open.  Perhaps there was hope for the day after all!!!
Truly, it was an amazing day.  I could not have asked for things to have gone better on day one. Only one other time in the entire day did the boys even ask about their missing screens (Benj asked after his nap how many days were left and seemed relatively undaunted by the number six).  I really am so proud of my boys as I reflect on the past 14 hours.  They are 100% all in on this challenge and were pretty much unfazed by it all. I didn't do too bad myself. A little work this afternoon, a little blogging now, and I've stayed within my hour and a half internet limit for myself. Mostly.
It seems like such a silly thing, giving up t.v. and computer usage for the week.  I feel like I'm making such a big deal over something so minor.  But it IS a big deal. I can see after just one day how much these things taken over our lives, our brain function, our family time. It was SUCH a good day.  I haven't ended a day feeling this good as a parent and a person in so long I can't even tell you.  It's refreshing. 
With that said, I could be singing a totally different tune come Wednesday.

Fort building busts any boredom

What are these we've found in our house?  Toys?!

This is such a terrible picture - I apologize.  Jeran was a little bit at a loss how to spend his last few moments before bed, and James suggested he go chat up our friendly neighbor across the street.  So he did. :) 

The Plan, such as it is

First of all, please do not take my last post as my commentary on media/humanity in general or you/your family specifically.  This whole thing is merely about what's happening in my home and family and what's not working for us anymore. I certainly don't want to be the cause of any offense or give off the vibe that all technology is evil. Ok, disclaimer over.
Thanks so much to those of you, both here and on Facebook, who have chimed in with encouragement and advice. I am equal parts excited and terrified about this endeavor. Since I decided with certainty to pursue this I just feel all sorts of confirmation and get it repeatedly (based on behavior around here) that it's going to be the right thing. But it's going to be dang hard.
I can already see that the temptation for me will be to run us ragged with activity. But that kind of defeats the purpose of what I want to accomplish.  I want to take the focus off of DOING and just BE.  I want to experience peace in our home and a slowing down. My mantra for the week shall be, "I am not the cruise director!!"
The times that I rely most on the television to entertain my brood is first thing in the morning and during dinner-makin' time. So I can be certain that these will be the moments in which I'll face the greatest temptation.  If I'm going to be brutally honest, anytime I have an agenda is when I most rely on that thing to babysit for me. I've been arming myself for moments in which an activity is needed with a few goodies at the dollar section in Target and by perusing websites where other brave souls before me have pondered alternatives to the t.v.
Another great temptation for me, personally, is going to be logging off Facebook for the week and not checking email the SECOND I'm alerted by my phone. I do use the internet for work, so I've allotted myself an hour and a half a day to handle any work matters (I know, I'm totally spoiled with a flexible at-home job)/respond to emails/blog about our misadventures. Other than that, the laptop and my phone will be tucked away. I will feel very lonely as these devices connect me to a world in which my name isn't "Mom".
SO.  The experiment begins tomorrow. Feel free to follow along here if you wish, as a witness to our triumphs and, perhaps, epic failures.  My prayer is that I'll be open to all sorts of thing God wants to show me, not the least of which is that the t.v. really doesn't have to be the supreme ruler.

It Might Be Time for Somethin' Drastic

Back in college, James and his roommates would jokingly (lovingly?) refer to their television as the "supreme ruler", owing to the significance of time it held over the apartment-at-large's daily schedule.  We would laugh and laugh over the affection and esteem with which the almighty screen was held.

Well, it ain't so funny anymore.

For a long time now there's been a niggling, gnawing fear growing in my mind that we are a bit screen-addicted.  When this guilty realization would begin to rear its ugly head I would do what any mature adult would do. 
Justify.

"We're not as bad as a lot of other people.  Probably."
"My kids aren't affected by it."
"The boys know when to cut themselves off. They barely even watch when it's on."
"It's EDUCATIONAL PROGRAMMING!"

These excuses have grown increasingly weak, and their inability to hold my conscience at bay has loomed over me in recent days. The t.v and computer screens in our household have very much become (gulp) supreme in their monopoly of our time and attention. And if I am honest for just one second I know that there are a number of reasons for that, not the least of which is the fact that it makes my life easier.  When I need to get stuff done or want the boys to quit fighting it's SO stinkin' easy to ask them what they want to watch or play on the computer. And I can catch an extra half hour, easy, of sleep in the morning because they can get up and just switch on the Babysitter.
The educational excuse held up pretty solidly until recently, but PBS Kids has been replaced in a greater capacity by Transformers, G.I. Joe, Phineas and Ferb (ok, ok, I can concede the remote value of this one.  I love that Dr. Doofenshmirtz!), Power Rangers (have mercy), and some Dragon Ball show that screams anime and makes zero sense to me (it might help if I watched more than thirty seconds of it though).  It has been growing harder to ignore the increase in energetic wrestling, fighting,swordplay, and overall aggression in my home in direct proprotion to the growing number of hours spent in front of these shows, not to mention how much harder it seems to be lately for the boys to focus on anything, Jeran's almost nightly bad dreams, and the general feeling of unrest in our home.

I cannot only point fingers at the out-of-control screen habits of the children in this household (and really, whose fault are those anyway?). In the evenings, James and I choose to unwind with a libation of some type and a t.v. show/movie. We are SO.FREAKING.TIRED by the end of the day due to the demands of his job, and my hours upon hours of meeting little people needs that it's about all we can do to crawl to our bedroom and reach for the remote. (Yes. I know.  T.V. in our room.  Something I said I would never have.  Proving once again, never say never.)
Let's digress from the television a minute and talk about the number of hours per day I am attached to my computer. Suffice it to say, carpal tunnel syndrome is becoming a real danger. Oh sure, I can excuse myself with protests of needing it for work, a connection to the outside world (Stay-at-Home-Mom Syndrome), primary form of communication.  But the hard truth is I check Facebook about 15 times a day. And let's not get into the time spent on Pinterest.

This all plays into the time I've spent wondering lately what it is I want for my life/our family life.  More importantly, what does God want for us, but our minds, hearts, and home aren't quiet long enough for us to hear Him? What do I want my children to learn about time and priorities? What do I need to learn about these things?
I think it might be time for something drastic. It may be time for a screen fast. And so, the Plan, such as it is, is to partake in a Great Screen Wean - taking a break from our t.vs and computer for the duration of next week.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! you say.  How about "all things in moderation"?  A complete break from t.v. and computer?  For a WEEK?!  I hear you.  These are all the same thoughts my own head has been screaming at me the past several days. Generally, we live our lives according to moderation in all things. But there are certain areas of my life in which I don't seem to be able to apply this principle. The use of t.v. and computer being one of them.
I guess, too, I just want to be able to prove to myself that I can do it.  That I'm not a complete and utter addict to technology.  And also, I want to see some changes made within our family and myself.  And change requres ACTION.
I'm still fleshing out in my mind how this is all going to come together specifically.  For now I leave you with a request for any words of encouragement/wisdom/suggestion, and a quote from Aristotle:
"We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."  OR, as my very wise husband paraphrased it: "You are what you do everyday".
I don't want to be a boob (tube).

35

So people say that you're only as old as you feel.  That's cool and all, but the last couple of years I mostly don't feel a day over 70. (My apologies for that statement to the energetic, healthy, non-stop 70-year-olds in my life.) 
I hit the big 3-5 Monday. I don't really have much to say about that. It passed fairly uneventfully: some uplifting bday greetings from all my Facebook peeps, a few cards in the mail, Chinese food for dinner, lots of hugs and kisses from my boys, flowers from my man. These things were all wonderful, but I was left with a lot of the day to dwell on life and the past 35 years and gave much thought to the rest of my life that's before, though God only truly knows the number of my days.
All of this think-think-thinking led me to one conclusion, one that I posted confidently as my Facebook status in the morning but came to truly believe by the end of the day:
Age is just a number. 
Numbers frighten me (thank you, 6th-12 grade math for that). More specifically, time frightens me.  I've never had a good handle on time as it relates to the present. I constantly find myself waffling between living in the past (steeped in nostalgia and/or regret) or the future (anxious and anticipating). And as I find more and more of my years behind me, I start to feel a little overwhelmed and panicked by it all.  And you know what? I don't want my life to be quantified by something so insignificant and fickle as years.
I want my life to be counted according to things that MATTER.
-1 God who is my loving Father and the ultimate guiding presence in my life. I want my obedience to and love for Him to become headstone-worthy in the days/weeks/months/years I have left.
-1 husband and the loving sacrifices I am willing to make to put him above myself
-3 boys and the men that they will become
-2 schools which are home to my boys' education right now. What difference will be measured in the lives of the teachers, staff, students, families here because we choose to be an encouraging presence?
-13 states in the continental U.S. (and 2 Canadian provinces!) across which are scattered the immense number of family and friends who I am blessed to have love me.
-14.9 square miles of town in which I live and thousands of people within them. In what ways is God calling me to be a light in dark places? In how many of those lives will God call me to make a difference?
-90 members (approximately) of my church family who feed into my life and with whom I am privileged to serve

Going forward I commit to not allowing the number of years behind or ahead of me dictate the meaning that my life holds. For, as Abraham Lincoln once wisely said, "...in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."

Gone campin'

Hey, sorry for the lack of posting.  All of our efforts have been going into not melting. Phew! (wipes brow)

Our first camping outing of the year took place a couple of weeks ago at Cran Hill Ranch in Michigan where we received further evidence that the boys are growing up and growing easier because we did NOT HATE IT! Our moments of feeling overwhelmed and out of our depth were SIGNIFICANTLY less than last year, so I'm glad to tell you that a great time was had by all.
Cran Hill is an extremely family-friendly, Christian-run campground/summer camp. The few days we were there were filled with swimming, fishing, horse-drawn-wagon-riding, s'mores making, ice-cream eating, and family togetherness with my parents and brother/sister-in-law/nephew/nephew-to-be. In our "backyard" was a huge playground:

and in our "front yard", the lake:

Brilliant.
The only downer was that we packed up early on our last day in a steady rain and then drove out of the campground under sun and blue sky. But the rest of the weekend made up for it, and we are already thinking ahead to next year's trip (in these same spots, I hope).