Michigan Adventures - Day 1

Ahhhh, vacation. The sunshine, the fun, the company...the sniffles?! Because I decided to pack up my three boys and spend a week in Michigan, naturally, I developed a whopping cold, complete with sore throat, stuffy nose, and laryngitis. It just wouldn't be a Michigan visit without someone getting ill. I am frustrated. As usual, I have so many plans mapped out, including visits with family and with friends. I was so looking forward to a week of being here in this place I love with those I love and living the free and easy life of a stay-at-home mom (which is neither free nor easy...discuss). Yet here I sit, virtually alone (with a sleeping Grayson), two of my boys and my mom off having a blast with my aunt and cousin. The time that I get with my family is so limited and precious. It kills me to be so near to them but once again have to distance myself. The details of our week of fun, here-in included, were to be full of smiling pictures (taken on my new birthday camera, no less!) of all of us living it up. Instead you get my melancholy, pouting-like-a-five-year-old ramblings about being sick. Along those lines, allow me to just whine that "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!" There must be a point to this, a lesson God is trying to teach me. Something about slowing down perhaps? Accepting the help that so abundantly surrounds me here? I get that. I understand. I'll try. But I can't help pleading with Him to just please give me my voice back and let me go along my merry, anal-retentively planned way. Here's hoping the coming days will bring you a little more uplifted, vacationy-sounding updates.

Through to the other side

The long dark night of newborn adjustment is coming to an end in our home. It truly feels as if I've been slogging through a dark tunnel and am coming out to the light of day. A light that, for me, includes schedules, sleep, smiles, and hmmmm...what other s words? Sangria perhaps?
Grayson has most definitely turned a corner in the last couple of weeks. His crying/fussiness began noticeably diminishing and is really only present now when he gets sick of his car seat (which is still fairly quickly). However, he responds to motion MUCH better, so if I can just find a way to take highways everywhere I go we're good. I would love to have whatever gadget cops and ambulances use to change the lights around here when they need to get through. Gray now spends much more time smiling, cooing, and playing and is so responsive to James, myself, and his brothers. He's really entering into that fun stage where he's much more interactive and curious about the world around him. The next obstacle to encounter was, then, the sleep issue. I don't recall if I've mentioned it here (these days I don't recall MANY things very easily), but Grayson has been sleeping with me almost since birth. This happened with my other two boys as well. It was just the easiest way at the time to get some much-needed sleep. To get him to sleep for naps and bedtime either James would rock him in the bouncy seat or I would walk around bouncing him until he finally passed out. It was not unusual for this process to take a half hour or longer which was getting REALLY old (although I think my biceps and calf muscles have benefited tremendously). This past Friday I had finally had enough, so, because I feel he is at an age where a little bit of crying (if it happened to occur) would not kill him (or me for that matter) I started laying him down in his bassinette even if he wasn't sleeping yet. With Jeran I almost had a nervous breakdown going through the "cry it out" phase. With Ben it never really happened, thankfully. With Grayson I was prepared and ready for it. The first night he cried 45 minutes and then dropped off to sleep. Since then I've been laying him down while he's awake for bedtime and nap, and there is still crying everytime, but it has not gone past 30 minutes. Naps are going really well, and initially at night things are smooth sailing as well. He's still waking up during the night, and is not so inclined to go right back to sleep, so that's been a little bit difficult. Other good news, though, is that he has finally discovered his thumb! This kid has been a little Hoover as far as naturally needing to suck, but he has been absolutely adamant about denying the pacifier. So I am thrilled that he's finding a self-soothing mechanism that could possibly make a world of difference in dreamland. Granted, he still has some of that newborn tendency to flail about and lose control of his limbs, so the thumb-sucking is not a perfected process yet, but it's definitely on the right track.
SO - things here are well. Life is starting to return to some semblance of normalcy, and I feel thankful and overjoyed more days than not lately about my complete little family. I know I haven't expressed it nearly enough to Him or anyone else in the past 3 months, but God is truly good.

Overheard

Jeran is at that age when really funny things are said on a weekly, almost daily, basis. Some of my favorites of recent days:

While I was taking a shower this morning JJ sauntered in, proceeded to drop his drawers to use the potty and said:

"So, Mom, did you have a good sleep?"

It was just a funny moment and such a grown-up little opener.

In the McD's drive-through:

JJ: What kind of toy will I get this time, Mom?

Me: Well, I actually didn't get you a happy meal this time, buddy.

JJ: (after a pause) Did you get me a sad meal?

Lying in bed with us one morning:

JJ: Mommy, did we get Grayson from the hospital?

Me: Yup. Mom went to the hospital and they helped get Grayson out of Mom's tummy.

JJ: Did they use a hammer?

Ben is also starting to talk up a storm, and 18-month-old language is always cute. A few favorites of mine from him:

Mo or Mo-mo = Elmo

Mooca = Cow (or Moo, cow!)

He's also regularly using please, thank you, and love you which we, as his parents, of course love. He's becoming a big copycat of his older brother, too, which is both good and bad.

And, not to leave Grayson out of the mix, he has started making adorable cooing noises accompanied by smiles:

Forever Young

I had an epiphany over the weekend. I discovered that I really want to freeze my kids at the age which they are currently. Now, if you've spent any amount of time with me in the past two months (or even read this blog, particularly between the lines of it) and have witnessed me attempting to keep up with 3 boys age 4 and under, you may think I've gone completely off my rocker. True, it has been a rough adjustment to being a family of five, and true, my kids are BUSY, but just hear me out on this one. What I have realized about this stage is that, first of all, my boys' innocence is largely intact. The world, for the most part, has not invaded their lives enough to do them any permanent harm. Also, my kids LOVE each other. I can't say Ben is always particularly pleased to receive those eye-popping tight neck-hugs that Jeran is prone to give, but more often than not they are laughing together, hugging, and easily forgiving. JJ doesn't like to be where Ben is not, and their room sharing is, at this point, a joy to them both. Thirdly, my kids love ME - unconditionally, it would seem. Despite my doubts about myself as a mom, and the countless ways in which I fail them daily, I still, ten times a day, will hear "I love you, Mom. You're my best mommy" from Jeran, and will get an exuberant "MAMA!" from Ben followed by a hug (or pats on the back which he enjoys giving). Grayson is finally into smiling, and so easily gives me that lopsided grin which reveals the single dimple in his right cheek. And all this even though I may not be quick to praise or play (and, on Grayson's side, have openly declared that he's up for grabs during many a crying-filled day). I want this innocence and unwavering love to last. I don't want my children injured, either physically or emotionally, and I don't want to lose the closeness that I have with them and they have with each other. Does growing up automatically mean these things will happen? Well, to some extent, probably, yeah. And I guess I just want to put off the day when I witness it happening. Can my kids maintain some of their innocence or at least turn their loss of it into compassion for others? Can their love for me and each other remain tight? Certainly - with my intentional guidance. Once again I realize the gigantic task God has appointed to me in the raising of my sons. But, when all is said and done, I'm so blessed that he picked me to do it.

ABC, Easy as 1-2-3

And thus, with that title, ends my tribute to Michael Jackson. I don't want to be callous about his death because any death (especially so suddenly) is a horrible tragedy and will no doubt be difficult for his family and friends. What I get disgusted by is the inundation by media of his life and death coverage. I flash back to college when Princess Diana's and Mother Theresa's deaths coincided. I remember (hypocrite that I am) watching hours of Princess Di funeral coverage but seeing virtually nothing about Mother T. It's pretty disgusting. Anyway...enough of my rantings.

How best to update on weeks of many happenings? I decided to take a page from my creative friend, Jeanne's, Christmas letter and work in A-B-C format. And so I present to you our alphabetical life update:

Antibiotics: Benji and I have both found ourselves in need of these in the last 2 weeks.

Back to Michigan: we've been there twice now in two weeks. Unexpectedly, if you will. The first trip was planned as a golf outing for James and Fathers' Day celebration with family. The second time was my spur-of-the-moment decision to go and help with some flood clean-up.

Cousins: My boys (especially Jeran) have gotten to spend a good deal of time with Michigan cousins. James's brother, Keith, and sister-in-law, Jeni, and their 3 kids (all close in age to ours) moved from Oregon to MI in May. We are SO excited to have them around and spend more time together!

Dads: We celebrated Fathers' Day our first trip to Michigan. I am SO grateful for and crazy about my dad, dad-in-law, and husband. I need another post to regale you with all the reasons they are my heroes.

E.R.: Our first time to Michigan, two weekends ago, I ended up visiting the ER on Friday night due to an intense urinary tract infection. I can't pinpoint why, but there is something decidedly embarrassing about this. More on that in another post.

Family: I have been so blessed by all the time I've had to spend with my extended family in the past couple of weeks. I've been spoiled by their generosity in helping out with my kids and have now caught a glimpse of what exactly I have been missing all this time that I've been living in Illinois. (A tough pill to swallow) I love you guys!

Gripe water: This little herbal miracle was recommended to me by my sister-in-law Jeni as a possible solution to Grayson's colicky behavior. While medical personnel and some parents aren't convinced of its effectiveness I can say that for the two weeks we've been using it we have DEFINITELY seen a difference. Found it in the baby aisle at Walgreens, and it's the best $10 I ever spent. Our greatest difficulty, it seems, is when he is in his car seat. He just seems to hate it. Not good with all the driving our life involves. I am happy to say that with all the driving back and forth to and from Michigan he really did very well.

HMO: This is the type of insurance I have. Up until now I have been VERY happy with it (can we say two FREE labors and deliveries? That's right...we didn't pay a dime), but now I see why some people have warned me of its complexities. Being stuck in Michigan with a UTI was no picnic in the first place but was made many times more complicated by the fact that I had to track down the right doctor after hours on the phone to get a referral to an urgent care center. After an hour talking to insurance and doctors' answering services I was sent to the ER. HMO is now synonymous with "Pain in my butt".

Ice cream: my summertime addiction has begun. I can't get enough.

J.J.: He's gotten, as I said, lots of time with cousins in these past 2 weeks. He has spent the night twice now at his cousin, Bella's. She's one year older than him, and they already have the perfect love-hate relationship. :-) It's been really fun to see them getting to know each other and to hear him talk about how much he loves her and her brother Keagan. They spent lots of time in the backyard partaking in water activities such as the slip 'n slide, water balloons, squirt guns, mini pool, etc. This week he will start 2 park district classes, one involving sports and the other is more of a preschool-type format (and gives mom a break! - thanks for that one Steph!).

Keeping up: Things I have learned I cannot keep up with in my life right now: a clean house, gardening (not that I was much of a green thumb anyway), cooking (my husband is absolutely brilliant in this arena), this blog, reading (great sadness attached to this one), my friends (sorry guys - I'm trying), the bills, laundry.

Letting go: Finally, with child #3, I am learning to let go of some of the things in the list above (or at least letting go of some of the guilt attached to these things). I know I have to be better at prioritizing in order to hang on to any shred of sanity. And so I am practicing letting go.

Minnie the Van: Have I mentioned how much I LOVE my van? While the coolness factor is perceived as decidedly low, I can't sing its praises enough. After the aforementioned Michigan travels and a trip to the zoo today with our whole family and my in-laws all comfortably fit in, it has proven its worth in spades.

Nothing: the price I paid for both Ben's and my antibiotics. Meijer RULES.

Otitis media: Fancy medical jargon for "ear infection". Ben had one in both ears this past week. His fever was 103.5 on Tuesday night, but I put off a trip to the urgent care to see if his fever would go down and symptoms dissipate which they did. The next morning, however, he was MISERABLE (capital M), so we got him on antibiotics ASAP. NEver again will I ignore my instincts and put off having a sick kid looked at. P.S. - to whom it may concern: the Holland urgent care center should DEFINITELY have a frequent visitor discount. I'm absolutely certain I would qualify. Nearly every time we're out of town we end up having to make a visit.

Photos: I am crushed to tell you that in the great flood swamping my folks' basement (see "Water"), I lost nearly all of my life in pictures up to this point. Three albums I had painstakingly scrapbooked as well as one my mom made for me (with countless pictures of me growing up) were waterlogged. I was able to rescue quite a few of the photos themselves (scarred as they are), but to see all that hard work go so quickly down the drain (no pun intended) made me physically ill.

Quit: Because of the photo album/flood tragedy I may be throwing in the scrapbook towel for good. That's a LOT of time and money to put into something that can so easily be destroyed. That could be said of many things though I suppose.

Realtor: We finally had one call with clients who wanted to see our house last week Sunday. First visit in the 2 months our house has been on the market. The verdict? Our price is too high and the bedrooms/closets too small. Let the waiting continue.

Salvage: My mom and dad were able to salvage very little (although, from my end, I am very grateful to them for cleaning off a trunk my grandpa made for me and I'm grateful to my in-laws for washing three huge bins of the boys' clothes). However, my parents' attitude has been a good reminder for me. They took everything in stride, are smart to have had an emergency fund, and realize that the things of this world are fleeting. They continually teach me the right perspective I need to be having.

Treasures: "Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth where moth and rust destroy and thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. FOR WHERE YOUR TREASURE IS, THERE YOUR HEART WILL BE ALSO." - Matthew 6:19-21

Urgent care: I successfully navigated a trip to urgent care for Ben with all 3 boys in tow and was very happy with the prompt attention we received. We were in and out in less than an hour. I'm sure the 4-year-old and 18-month-old taking over the waiting room were no motivation whatsoever to move us through.

Vacation: James got a bit of one last week Thursday - Sunday as he was golfing with his buddies around Benton Harbor, Michigan. This works out well for me since upon his return he is more refreshed and I can shove the kids at him and run. Just kidding (sort of).

Water: Following the "Great Storm of '09" my parents' basement took on a bit of water: two and a half feet of it to be exact. It was a sight to behold (see pics below). My parents were out of town, so my brother and sister-in-law dealt with the tragedy handily, spending all day with rented pumps getting the water out. At the end of the day they realized water was still leaking in, so we all left a little dejectedly. Come Sunday, however, he checked things out and all water had drained away leaving lots of sogginess in its wake.

Xray vision: Something I clearly need since when leaving my parents' house one night this week I backed right into my mom's car which was parked behind me and which my mom had just REMINDED me was right behind me. That's what multiple children and multi-tasking will do to you. Luckily no damage ensued and my parents were very cool about it.

Yearbooks: Another tragic loss claimed by the flood. Along with much teaching paraphernelia, our high school and college diplomas, and a few other nostalgic items. Sniff.

Zoloft: A fabulous little blue pill that is helping to keep my emotions on a more even keel and allows me to cope a little more readily with the whirlwind of my life right now. My wonderful dr. suggested at my six week checkup that perhaps I'd like to try a little something to just help balance me out right now. I highly recommend.

So clearly Michigan, floods, family, and illness have consumed our time in the previous weeks. More and more I'm getting the hang of three kids and growing accustomed to accessorizing outfits with spit-up and catching only the occasional shower. Hopefully life can remain a little more uneventful and a lot more fun in the days to come.

Rejected by scientologists everywhere

Tom Cruise and John Travolta will, most likely, not be joining my circle of friends, seeing as I have become a rather liberal medicator of my children (yeah, THAT'S the reason). There was a time when I was hesitant to bust out the Tylenol, but now we use it (among other drugs of choice) much like Windex in the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". A remedy for any and all ailments or mood changes. I bring it up since Grayson started on Zantac yesterday. Yes, Zantac. He's essentially on heartburn meds for babies. While cute as a button (cuter, in fact, as I don't find buttons that attractive) and precious as can be, he has grown increasingly challenging in the last week. His fussy time has grown to encompass the entire day. Sometimes it's all-out screaming and crying, sometimes it's just generally being unsettled and fussing. To date we have tried the following remedies:
- walking around
-driving around
- holding in different positions
- feeding
- burping
- feeding again (and again and again)
- heating pad on the tummy
- swing
- bouncy seat
- bouncy seat on vibrate
- wildly bouncing bouncy seat on vibrate
- pacifier
- music
- other forms of noise

Each of these works at one time or another but not consistently and not for very long. Thursday things hit their peak when he was fussy the entire time I was out running errands with him. I was starting to get "the look" from fellow shoppers. You know the one I'm talking about: pity mixed with relief that they're not in the same boat. Sometimes with a tinge of irritation. I finally decided to call the doc just to set my mind at ease that we were doing everything possible for him. The office ended up having us come in just to check him out, and the doc said it would be worthwhile to give Zantac a week's trial just to rule out reflux. The past couple of days have been a bit of an improvement, and we're also entering into that 6th week of life when babies generally peak with their fussiness. I don't know if that causes me to feel more relief (that the end could be in sight) or dread (that this week will be worse than all the rest). Time will tell. The pluses here: I am learning to better tolerate kid crying and the older boys are learning a lot about patience (although not always by my modeling it for them).

Happy Elevenniversary

That was then...this is now.

Eleven years & going strong. Gosh, I love this guy.