Christmas Break 2011

Hey y'all. I'd love to be updating you on our fantabulous Christmas break filled with goodwill and joy, but I have to go Lysol for the thousandth time after the fourth member of our family has succumbed to this wicked stomach flu. May you and yours have experienced a holiday season filled with peace, good cheer, and no Clorox needed.

Oh, hello there!

You're still here, are you? Checking back on us from time to time? That is too kind of you. For awhile there I was afraid Blogger would just shut the whole operation down for being a waste of space. Breathe easy, I have returned.

So just what in tarnation has been the deal around here? Well, first of all, I have discovered Pinterest. Ouch.

Aside from this brilliant invention/devil spawn there is, of course, the issue of three busy boys. Busy, imaginative, challenging, infuriating, lovable BOYS.

On top of this I have, true to form, overcomitted myself in life. When it comes to scheduling myself/our family, my mouth tends to run on ahead of my brain. It's been a chronic problem. Luckily for me, I have a really incredible support system of friends and family who listen, encourage, and work diligently to save me from myself. One reason I love this time of year is that it lends itself to a bit of reflection and reordering. So as the year winds down, I'm re-evaluating priorities, trying to discern the truly important elements of my life. What I've come up with is that, well, those don't include Pinterest. Darn. Truly, though, I am seeing pretty clearly what should have been obvious all along: my family and my relationship with God need room made for them first. I have many other worthy pursuits in my life, but these need to be tied for numero uno. Or maybe numero 1B and 1A, respectively. As I begin the process of removing items from my proverbial plate, don't think that this means you can't ask me to do things. Just don't be too offended when I decline, perhaps forcefully. To strengthen my no muscle I may need to overuse it a little in the beginning.

My overcomittment issues are not the only big haps around here. We've had a few birthdays this week that are more than deserving of note. I'll give you a hint who they belong to:

So that's the short version and now you're somewhat caught up, folks. May your plate hold only the peace and joy of this Christmas season and as the year comes to a close may you be filled with hope for what lies ahead.

Fall Favorites

(I know. After a month and a half of NOTHING, all I'm going to give you is a lousy list. Cop-out! Deal with it. It's what's been on my mind.)

1) FOOD (surprise!) - chili, pumpkin anything (particularly lattes @ Starbucks), soups of all kinds, apple cider

2) Firing up the fireplace (pun intended) for the first time (after James removes any dead animal carcasses, of course)

3) Watching the trees change color almost right before my eyes.

4) School - and not just for the obvious reasons. In just these two months I have watched my oldest child change and grow in so many ways. It makes me proud. And a little sad. He's growing up.

5) Packing away the summer clothes and pulling out the sweaters.

6) Anticipation of the holidays to come: Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all the time with family this allows us

7) Clinging to the hope that one of these years we will actually pick half an apple orchard, and I'll make my own 'sauce from it.

8) Though I'm known somewhat as a Halloween Scrooge , I found some satisfaction in this year's pumpkin carving and costume-searching outcomes.

Note: These pictures really kinda suck. I REALLLLLY want a camera for Christmas. Ahem. Cough. Hint.

The Mom I Am Now

I'm sitting here (BY MYSELF!!!), slooooooowly sipping coffee (BY MYSELF!!!), and a few tables over stands a group of people oohing and aahing over a brand new baby. New Mommy is regaling her enthusiastic onlookers with tales of how curly this massive volume of hair on baby's head gets in the bath, how good he is, how much of a sleeper. She is beaming, animated, joyful, relaxed, casual about any lack of sleep she's experiencing and confident of its return. And I remember being this mom. I recall people oohing and aahing over my brand new baby and eager for stories of his already-blossoming character traits. And I remember being eager and happy to share them.
Then, with a jolt, I glimpse an outsider's view of the mom I am now. I envision myself coming into this place with my boys and running into someone we know. I clearly see the game of tag that would inevitably begin, the tugging on my arms and tiny, whiny voices asking when we can leave and what we're going to do next. I can picture myself rolling my eyes and reprimanding through gritted teeth, sighing, and smiling stiffly as I adopt my martyr posture.
I don't remember the exact moment I lost that new mom glow or stopped singing my kids' praises and instead started apologizing for them and regaling family/friends/random passerby with a litany of ways in which they drain me and suck up my life force. I do remember noticing a subtle shift from congratulating new moms-to-be to wincing and warning them of the doom and gloom parenthood can bring. Who wants to be that person?
Lately, I've had several dear, trusted people in my life share emphatically with me how great they think my kids are, how friendly, full of life, joyful, outgoing, kind. And seeing them through others' eyes is beginning to shift my perspective. It's so easy for me to focus on the negative ways they can influence my day, those things that usually only a mom sees, but when I hear repeatedly the positive things that my children are bringing to the world around them, I am humbled.
Parenting is hard. I don't know anyone who would dispute that. That new mom might not see it yet, at least not in its full brutal force, but in a few years when her one child has become two or three, or when her little angel begins living out that will of his own, maybe she won't be so boisterous and full of positive stories to share. However, as my mom so wisely pointed out to me not that long ago, if you didn't care about your kids so much it wouldn't be hard at all.
The other thing that new mom can't possibly grasp yet is how incredibly rewarding parenting is: when all your child wants to do all day long is squeeze the crap out of your neck and tell you he loves you, or when there's no one else your kids would choose to be with other than you; when you see your child, at his young and innocent age, lavishing kindness on others or including them in his world; when you feel your heart bursting with a love you never knew possible at the same time that a searing pain reminds you they're growing up and away from you. When I stop and notice these things I am reminded what an incredible gift God gave me in being a mom. Not just any mom. A mom to MY boys. My three gregarious, hyperactive, fun-loving, kind, outgoing, joyful, look-at-this-will-of-my-own-I'm-going-to-show-you boys.
I hope the next time you see me you'll hear me telling about the great things my boys have done lately and the really cool people I know they are. I hope that my eye-rolling will have diminished and that you won't hear me making excuses for them (though maybe lovingly disciplining where necessary). I hope that you'll see me smiling a lot more than sighing, and that I'll be embracing everything about this life that God has given to me: the good, the bad, and the ugly - each in its turn. That's the mom I want to be now.

My Preschooler

Very likely those of you reading this are also my Facebook friends and have already feasted your eyes upon the display of cuteness below. Tough noogies. You will gaze upon the cuteness of my Benj (and other boys as well) once again:

This child spent the better part of his summer making sure I was WELL aware of the fact that he was not going to school come fall. "I'm just gonna stay home with you, Mom." Well.

It's true that he tends to be more of my homebody. (He's also the child that favors sleeping in, therefore, he is my favorite. **) He is also generally less of a "jumper-inner", more cautious when it comes to new situations and experiences. He continues to be the laid back member of the tribe.

Fast forward to the first day of Jeran's year. In a show of brotherly solidarity, Ben donned his backpack for the walk to school and upon seeing his older bro and classmates enthusiastically enter the building immediately decided that this school thing was ok. What followed were two weeks of impatience and inquiries as to why he was not also going to "my-school-with-my-teachers-Miss-Marilyn-and-Miss-Judith". And then we found ourselves at day one. In some ways my experience in bringing Ben to his first day of school was the same as with Jeran. Eager, anxious, excited, sad. But as we've gotten into the swing of school I've noticed there are differences too. I've found (mostly because he is a much more forthcoming fountain of information, and Jeran tends to be one-worded in his approach to detailing the day) that I don't pummel him for information, don't obsess about what he's doing and how he's behaving, etc. I grew comfortable about Ben being a school kid much quicker than I did when it was Jeran's turn. I think it has everything to do with their difference in temperament and personality. I don't generally worry about Ben and how he's handling things once he's settled in. Anyhoo. That's two boys in school - count em, TWO! Next year, by the grace of the potty gods, Grayson will join them. Wahoo!! And...sigh.

**I DON'T HAVE A FAVORITE. Get serious.

My First Grader

Do not be fooled by the boy's expression. While to me he looks a tad apprehensive in this photo, he felt nothing of the sort on his first day of first grade yesterday. It's true there were many proclamations this summer of, "I just want kindergarten to start over!", and when people would ask him if he was excited to start first grade they got an answer filled with nothing short of dread. But this all changed after I bought his school supplies, and he and his dad delivered them to his classroom earlier this week. Seeing his desk, meeting his teacher, discovering at least one friend was in the mix with him - these all ratcheted up the excitement. He didn't even look back yesterday as he entered the building.

I'm not really surprised by all this. I know my boy. He's like me: new things and change are always scary at first, but once we get warmed up, boy, we are IN! What I am a tad surprised by is my reaction to this whole business, particularly today as he's at his first FULL day of being away from me. He gets to experience all kinds of great new things like eating his lunch in the cafeteria and art class and making new friends. And I want all of those things for him. And, quite frankly, I want this level of peace and quiet for myself. Because there have been ZERO fights this morning (not that that will last forever, I know), and this afternoon I get 2-3 hours of blissful silence. But I still feel kind of lost with JJ gone. It's hard for me not to get to watch him experience all these firsts, only to get a second-hand, less-detailed-than-I'd-like account of his day. I want him to continue to grow. I welcome it. But it's harder than I expected to release him to the world in order to do this.
So I pray. And decide to just be unproductive today, so we can adjust to this new routine. And try not to think about how I'm going to feel in two weeks when Ben starts preschool.

July? Are you there??

I could swear that I JUST flipped my handy-dandy Berghoef family calendar over to July. Suddenly August is all up in my grill, and I'm thinking about things like school starting up again and fall approaching (followed all too quickly by winter. I think we're well aware of my dread of the Old Man and his snowy sabatoge). However, you don't need me nay-saying all over your computer, so I'll focus on more positive aspects of Louwerse life.
It has been a great summer overall. It's been glorious to be out from under the pressure of a schedule and to just enjoy sunshine, swimming, time with friends, indulging our ice cream cravings, firing up the grill. We didn't take any major vacations this summer. Certainly nothing akin to our road trip last year.But that's ok. Regular life is busy enough, so we just didn't complicate it with more places to go, things to see. We've been enjoying getting to know our neighbors and our town a little better, discovering places that before were hidden to us.
As summer does, indeed, wind down, we've been blessed to celebrate some milestone anniversaries in our family. (Side note: this was year 13 for us, and I'll be darned if I didn't try insisting to my husband it was 12. That doesn't speak well for the state of my brain cells. They do grow back, right?) Last weekend my grandparents celebrated 65 years of marriage. We had an awesome time of gathering as a family, reminiscing, capturing the moment via photograph, etc. And of course, stuffing our faces. Because no party (particularly a Dutch one) is complete without a buffet. A darn good one, at that. It's been about two years or so since I can remember my mom's whole side of the family being together like that, and it was really cool just to catch up with everyone and to revel in the blessed heritage we have received from the Gp's.
The boys and I are currently back in MI for a bit of an extended visit, as has become somewhat of our tradition the last few summers. The primary reason for our trek to this side of the lake is to celebrate my mom and dad-in-law's 50th (FIFTIETH!) anniversary this weekend. In this day and age, it's no easy feat to accomplish the Big Gold. And they have reached it with flying colors. Can't wait to be together with family and reflect upon their years together. I am truly blessed to have married into this fantastic group of people that I love and respect so much. Anyway, stay tuned for details on all that fun.
While I try to hang onto my last shreds of sanity whilst awaiting the start-up of school, I fully intend to enjoy these last days of summer freedom with my boys. I hope the same can be said for you. (The enjoyment of summer, not the shreds of sanity part.)

Summertime, summertime, sum-sum-summertime

Jeran's moves

Call me crazy but this kid's got a future in dancing. Either that or liturgical karate. To really get the full effect you have to hear Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone" in your head as that's the song he was jamming to. I've posted it on the ol' blog playlist to the right there to help you out. (Try starting the video around 2:15)

Sigh

Ugh - I know. You're just totally unmotivated at this point to even direct your internet browser to this address aren't you? The last post was about RABBITS. And I never gave a shout-out to my MOM for heaven's sake. I don't even have any pictures with which to amuse you (unless you are easily amused and would appreciate pictures of the bed we will soon be attempting to sell on Craigslist). Life is just piling up on us over here. We're starting to get the sense that we're overcommitted (yes, if you know us well you're chuckling because somehow we always end up doing this to ourselves). I've been trying lately to be intentional about committing my ways to the Lord (Prov. 16:3), prayerfully considering each day what it is God would have me do with my time rather than what I think is best, trying to learn flexibility in the process. I know all too well that there aren't enough hours in the day, so what is going to be the wisest way to use the ones I have? This week some of my hours have been spent at the Take Care Clinic with Ben (ear infection), at the car dealer (broken door latch - my, how I take for granted having doors that close and stay that way!), partaking in a surprise celebration for one of my most treasured friends, planning a service project for Sunday, working, etc. etc. {insert many more random activities, some amusing and some pressing, here}. We're looking forward to a little bit of a breather this weekend: a short visit with my parents, a party with friends (RAIN, RAIN STAY AWAY!), serving with fellow CenterPointians on Sunday, and spending a few days in the Dells with my in-laws. But stay tuned because you just never know how God is going to test this new flexibility thing I'm trying on.
And, ok, I lied. Here are a few pics of the fam from Mother's Day (but hey, if you're interested in that bed, let me know).

You Know You've Seen Too Many Disney Movies When...

Last week James was mowing the lawn (you know, that loathsome activity our boys are not yet old enough to have forced upon them?), when suddenly six baby bunnies leapt from a hole in the ground and scattered. He gathered the bunnettes then gathered the boys and I to check them out as he placed them gently into a box lined with grass, into which they immediately began to burrow. Nervously, I hovered over the box.
I immediately started looking around for the mommy, kind of envisioning a Bunnicula-looking creature darting toward our jugulars in defense of her kids. When no such animal appeared we started speculating about what to do with these six little balls of fluff. James insisted that they could not, in fact, be kept in our backyard (though the boys and I tried in vain to convince him it would be really cool), and as I pondered driving them to the forest preserve and letting them loose, the only image that filled my brain was of a mother bunny leaning over her empty burrow weeping giant rabbit tears into a hanky, her little cottontail shoulders quivering with grief.
Luckily the Internet, oh glorious device of knowledge, assured me that rabbits of about the size ours looked to be were ready to be out on their own and that, in fact, around this time the mother abandons them so they are forced to do just that. (Heartless coney!) So we boxed up the bunnies and did, in fact, drive to the forest preserve. We took turns naming each rabbit and then watched them dart off into the grass (James and I praying that a hawk would not at that moment plummet from the sky and cause untold amounts of trauma in our children).
Now we tell stories to each other about Bartholomew, Sir Hopsalot, Lucky, Johnny, {makes bunny face}, and Bunny Louwerse living life adventurously out in the woods and ponder how they fill their days: holding races, facing and overcoming obstacles together, meeting new animal friends. And trying to overcome the guilt that slammed into us when the mom came back and sniffed around the burrow for a week afterward. I swear she had a hanky.

A Room of His Own

Today my baby is two. Forgive me for REDUNDANTLY stating this fact, but there are NO MORE BABIES AT MY HOUSE!!! For a plethora of reasons, that I will spare you from my expounding upon, I am giddily excited by this fact. I'll admit there is also a teeny, tiny, infinitesimal part of me that mourns the passing of this stage. But it is miniscule. Hardly even worth mentioning. Our big boy is celebrating the close of year two with, finally, his own room. He's always been the lightest sleeper of our brood, taking his sweet time in falling asleep and being easily awakened by the slightest noise or disturbance. Due to various circumstances here, we put off giving him his own space until just recently, but now that the deed is done we are all sleeping MUCH better because of it.
This weekend we will celebrate the baby of our family, hopefully with a trip to the zoo, perhaps a few gifts and some emphatic birthday singing. We will marvel at his growth (or is that, girth?). We will reminisce about the last two years of his presence in our lives, and we'll probably supress a little panic as we realize anew the depth of our responsibility as parents to get these three gregarious, loving boys safely into manhood. Mostly we'll probably just feel a little stressed and overwhelmed by the pace of life right now with three active kids aged six and under. But we'll feel pretty darn blessed too.
Happy Birthday, Grayson!

Dear Uncle Sam, Thank you for unburdening me, this tax season, of funds that surely I would have frivolously wasted away on things like $4/gallon gas for my vehicle or personal debt reduction. Truly, you have saved me from financial recklessness. Surely "donating" my money to your ever deepening and widening black hole of a budget deficit and wasteful government spending is a MUCH better cause. Thanks a bunch, Another satisfied American

Is Anybody Still Out There?

Wowza. A once-a-month update does not an interesting blog make. Sorry to be so MIA over here. Life has continued to go on, but for some reason I have been neglectful of sharing it with you, faithful and occasional readers.

Spring is upon us and with it an awakening of the natural world, the senses, and the time spent out of doors. Much to James's chagrin, it also means lawn cutting season has begun. (He asked me shortly after Jeran was born how old our children would need to be to help with that task. We agreed that being of a height taller than the lawnmower was probably pretty essential. Thus, he toils on alone.) The bikes and toys have been unburied from their place in the garage, the windows have been opened, and the parks revisited. Birthdays have been and will be celebrated: Jeran turned 6 on March 17 and Grayson will officially shed his babyhood on April 29 as he turns two. At times, as I've no doubt mentioned here before, I have a complex about how lame we are about birthdays. I have friends who are absolutely giddy about birthdays and celebrate with relish, planning weeks, even months, in advance. Around here the realization of an impending birthday usually dawns on us the week of. Whoops! This year we actually had planned a bit ahead and wanted to bring Jeran to Legoland, but it just didn't work out for James to get out of work early enough to make that a reality, so Jeran chose (surprise, surprise) the train restaurant as his celebratory venue. You know what though? Even though we've been there every year since he turned two, and even though it wasn't a huge event, we (and especially he) enjoyed it immensely. And isn't that what it's all about? (That and the presents, naturally.)

Choo choo! This year our good friend (and roomie for a brief time), Jess, got to join us too!

Grayson, our go-go-goer, doesn't show any signs of slowing down as he reaches the ripe old age of two. He talks, walks/runs, eats a mile a minute and therefore has no real problem keeping up with his bros. They're all pretty obsessed with being outside these days, not that I blame them. And they all remain buddies which I love to see.

School will soon be ending and with it, our routine, so my thoughts have started turning toward summer and what fun awaits us there. It's also a little unnerving for me, who loves a good routine, to realize that we'll be faced with somewhat unstructured days. But with our energetic, boisterous crew I see LOTS of fun times ahead.

On that note, however, I have to say that I finally feel like I'm at a place in my life where I have learned to enjoy one day at a time. I still need to work on really being present in each moment rather than jumping ahead or wishing certain moments to pass faster, but for the most part I find myself truly enjoying the day I have been given, recognizing (however morbid it may be) that I'm not guaranteed even my next breath. Awhile ago I was challenged (as is generally the case) by our pastor when he spoke about living in the margins. How often we live only for those moments of rest and relaxation in our lives: vacations, weekends, bedtimes. :) But even those not-so-restful moments, those moments that fill all the time in between the vacations, etc., the bulk of our time: am I living those to the fullest? While there's nothing wrong with times of rest and refreshment, am I ONLY living for those? There have absolutely been times (and still are) when I would answer yes to that. But I slowly feel I'm growing to a place where even the frustrating, exhausting, beat-me-to-a-pulp moments show me their value, and living in God's peace I can live those to the fullest too. It's a slow process. But I'm gettin' there.

Today was filled with many enjoyable moments: a picnic at the park with my kids, laughter, tons of hugs and kisses and snuggling, recognizing how faithful God is to meet my needs (even when I'm not always all that faithful), sunshine, cool breezes, accomplishment in work tasks... So you might say how easy it is to live fully in these moments. And that's certainly true. I'm soaking them up, basking in the easy joy, so that the Lord can refresh me for those moments when the joy doesn't come as easy.

So, that's what's going on in the life and head of us Louwerses. Hopefully spring fever is catching hold of you as well and enhancing the joy in your life.

Redundant

I know I've probably pretty much beat this topic to death with a stick here on the ol' blog, but it's a recurring issue in our household, and need I remind you that this is MY blog? I can write about what I want. (insert raspberry here)

The strong-willed child.

Jeran, someday if you are reading this (and if you are, I know that you are a balanced, well-rounded, perfectly capable adult and that you ADORE your mother) I would hate for your self-esteem to take a hit. Just know that as I tear my hair out over your behavior (I'm not bald in the future, am I?), it's in a loving manner.
This week has been epic. If scales were to be loaded up with moments of peace versus moments of war in this household, the scales would not only list viciously toward the latter, they would tilt then completely break off due to the weight of this week's battles. I'm really not exaggerating when I say that nearly every waking moment has been a verbal Ultimate Fighting Championship of Mom vs. J. For some reason Jeran has decided that it is well worth his while to have a fit/tantrum/nuclear meltdown over every. single. issue. What's for breakfast, leaving for school, how and when to put on his socks, what to watch/play and when. It goes on and on. And on. There have been tears (oh, so many tears - and not just his), so many raised voices, so many consequences/punishments, so many highly emotional reactions to said consequences/punishments. And I just find myself weary and confused. How have we escalated to this point? I felt like there was some headway being made toward maturity on his end regarding these issues, and then this week exploded into our lives like a firework gone wrong.
James (AKA: The Voice of Reason) has pointed out that I've been tightening the reins a bit where our oldest child is concerned. This is true. My eyes have really been opened to what I allow him to get away with, the areas where I back down when I should remain firm. So it seems only natural that he keeps pushing back to see if and when I'll break. However, there have been moments this week when I have not even recognized my own child, and the amount of emotion he has exhibited has been frightening in its intensity.
I am fully confident that God is with us on this journey and will lead us through to the other side. I know that James and I and Jeran will be stronger people because of it, and I hope that through it all we become more dependent on the Lord and closer to Him. But, let's face it, I also hope that tomorrow there are no fits/tantrums/nuclear meltdowns. I hope that I don't yell and despair but also that I don't give in. I hope that my child doesn't look back on these years and only remember a disciplining, unhappy, frustrated mom. I hope, I hope, I hope.
I have hope.

DR 2011

Oh, the laughing, talking, dancing, celebrating, sunning, fist-bumping.... How often do you get to vacation in a tropical locale with 16 of your closest friends? Well, if we have our way, yearly, but realistically I'd say...once in a lifetime.

Anybody see which way the truck that hit me went?

Wow. I don't think I've ever been this sick in my life. Ever. The can't-even-get-out-of-bed-for-two-days kind of sick. You just don't even think about being healthy until you're not. Which reminds me of the people I know who are currently living with serious, ongoing illness. It gives me new appreciation and sympathy for their struggle, new appreciation for the great health our family (usually) lives with, and renewed realization that our days here on earth are numbered. Am I living the abundant life Jesus came here to give me in those hours and moments I'm given?

Helllloooooo 2011!

A new year is here! What will it bring? Only God knows.
I just spent some time reading through my blog posts from 2010, trying to get an overall picture of the last year of our life (because, quite frankly, it's a bit of a blur). It's cool to see how the boys have grown and changed, teeny tiny ways that I have (there's a LOOONG way to go), and to recap fun, exciting, and even challenging events from the year. It's also a bit humbling to see all these projects/ideas I got all gung-ho about and went practically nowhere. You'd think putting it in print would keep me a LITTLE bit accountable.

I'm going to steal this idea from a fellow blogger and do some reflecting on 2010 and projecting into 2011:



1)What accomplishments from the past year are you most proud of? Well, my kids all seem to be intact, physically and emotionally. Haha! Ha.

2) What did you learn about yourself this last year? I'm a bit of a coward, socially speaking. I tend to shy away from uncomfortable or new social situations. I didn't used to be this way or at least not this bad. I'm working on it. More than myself, I feel like I've learned or re-learned some things about God and his immense, crazy love for me.

3) In what ways have you grown? I've been getting out of my comfort zone more. Also learning to be less prideful.

4) What were the high points of the past year? Vacationing with family, James's and my mini-getaway, Labor Day camping trip with Lombard CRC, girls getaway weekend, getting my part-time job at home, our new church starting up, Friday morning coffee time ;), Jeran learning to ride a bike, annual friends' camping trip, and I know there's more I'm neglecting to mention. Have I mentioned how crappy my memory can be?

5) Low points? Keith and Jeni moving to Alaska. Sorry guys. We're still happy for you, but it was hard to say good-bye. :)

6) What inspiration will you carry forward into the year ahead? The realization that I have been given SO MUCH blessing in my life. My children, my husband, our health, SO MANY loving friends and family, an enormous support system dispersed through so many areas of my life. My cup runneth over.

7) How would you complete this sentence: 2010 was the year of...movin' on: the boys (ok, and us) got older and grew in many ways, family moved home, family moved away, we moved to a different church, etc.

8) Pick 3 words to describe 2010. Sleeplessness, Fun, Growth

9)What were the best books you read this year? The Hunger Games, for sure. The Help, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, The Prodigal God, The Shack (which I think technically I re-read this year).

10) How did you grow in your relationships? I have had a lot of new friendships start up this year which is exciting. We've gotten to know some of our neighbors better as well.

11) What was your single biggest time waster? Ugh. I hate to admit it: Facebook and the internet in general.

12) What was the best way you used your time this year? Those stretches of time when I was exercising and eating right. Anytime I spent in the Word and prayer, particularly when I started my day that way.



GOING FORWARD:

1) What are you most looking forward to in the year ahead? Walking more closely with the Lord, our trip to the Dominican Republic for our good friends', Clint and Merley's, wedding (no kids! Lots of friends!), growing in my relationships with my children, my husband, and others in my life

2) What do you want more of in the year ahead? God and an understanding of His love, time spent with my kids rather than wasting it on things that don't matter (like a clean house -though this is hard for me to give up!)

3) Less of? Pessimism, debt, unhealthy choices, anger

4) What relationships will you invest more of yourself in this year? My kids and my husband. Because I see them everyday I feel like it's easiest for me to just go on autopilot with them. They definitely do not get the best of me each day.

5) In what ways would you like to see yourself grow? Simplifying. Living wisely (see #8 below). Being present in each moment of my day. Praying without ceasing.

6)What are you choosing to let go of this year? People not living up to my standards/expectations; instead, loving them for who they are not who I think they should be. I also want to let go of this whole concept of needing THINGS. There's always bigger, better, more out there for me to want, buy, waste time and money on.

7) How would you complete the following sentence: This will be the year of: healthy choices! wise living!

8) If you had to choose a verse for the year ahead what would it be? God has directed my attention to Ephesians 5:15-17 several times in the last few weeks, and I feel his message for me this year is this: "Be very careful then how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

Happy New Year (a little late) y'all! May you grow, change, be blessed in 2011!