Ick

This morning's coffee is a must as opposed to a luxury. Well, hmmmm...coffee addiction runs in my genes, so I guess more often than not it's a "must". Today, however, my need for a caffeine kick-start results from Ben's early morning escapade with the aforementioned (see previous blog) G.I. bug running through the family. Around 3:00 a.m., much to my horror, I awoke to hear Ben choking amidst panicked cries. Praise the Lord we are at my parents' house where we essentially share a room, so I was easily able to hear him. In the few seconds that my foggy brain had to speculate about what was happening, one word formed in my mind: puke. The lamp shed light (literally) on the cause of his distress, and he had indeed lost his lunch. Or more accurately I guess, dinner. I learned as a teacher and then later with Jeran to go into auto-pilot mode at this point. Bed and baby clean-up (with a great amount of assistance from my husband - who has a fairly weak stomach and I'm sure was also on auto-pilot) ensued, and we settled on the couch to wait out the storm. Poor little guy had a few more episodes, and we could tell he was very confused as to what was happening to him. This is another cause for praise since it means he's been really healthy his first year of life and hadn't experienced this before. One clear thought I did keep having was that this could be so much worse. Jeran's first experience with this ailment was around the same age and occurred while we were driving back to Illinois from Michigan. In the pouring rain. Which means no windows could be opened for relief. We also quickly ran out of items with which to protect him and the rest of the car. I think he ended up wearing a garbage bag. So yes, it could have been so much worse. At this point he is sleeping, and it seems that everything is over (knock on wood), so I sip (actually it's more of a guzzle right now) my cup of joe and try to move on with the day.

Merry Christmas...and a happy new year!

Once again I am sadly behind on posting updates about our life. I guess living it takes precedence over writing about it these days. My most favorite time of year has come and is passing by - the Christmas season. It has been a wonderful time in Michigan with our families, and we hope to catch up with a few friends as well. We arrived last week Wednesday and will be staying until New Year's Eve, at which time we will high-tail it home, so I can fall asleep on the couch before the ball drops. We enjoyed a very white Christmas amidst all of our holiday fun and festivities, since when we arrived here there was just about 3 feet of snow. Of course, once we planned on taking Jeran sledding for the first time (I know - 3 1/2 and first sledding; it's a sad commentary on our parenting and lack of outdoorsy gumption) it rained and rained and depleted the supply. However, he's perfectly happy tromping through puddles in his new boots and got to hit the library with Nana that day instead, so I guess there's no long-term trauma involved.

My thoughts are turning to the new year and wondering what lies ahead in it. One thing I have finally gotten through my thick skull in 2008 is that there are no guarantees in life. One day can change drastically what happens in subsequent ones. I have seen that through illness, death, and various other traumas as well as great joys, experienced by people in my life this past year. At the risk of sounding too blase' about it, it is with a grateful heart that I acknowledge God's blessing over my family and the overwhelming presence of joys as opposed to traumas. However, I recognize this doesn't guarantee smooth sailing in 2009. One day at a time, though. What are my hopes for '09? Always at number 1 is to grow in my relationship with the Lord. I feel He is breaking new ground in me as the year closes out and pray that that continues on in the new year. I hope for a healthy baby come May (I'd love a girl, Lord, but I won't push my luck here), a potty-trained 4 year old when March 17 rolls around, and continued closeness in my marriage (not necessarily in that order). I'd love to fast-forward through the year and know for sure where we'll be city and job-wise. It's been rattling around in our brains and hearts the last couple of years to be closer to family. It would be incredibly hard to leave behind our life in Illinois as well, though, so we'll see what answer God provides in that sphere. Another hope I have is to curb my addiction to junk food and abhorrence of physical activity. If I could hire a personal trainer and nutritionist that would really help. Guess I forgot to put that on my Christmas list. In short, living each day to the fullest, praising God in all circumstances.

In other news, this pregnancy has taken a turn on me in the last week. On top of various digestive issues (which, in all fairness, should also be attributed to some sort of bug passing through as James and my mom have also ended up with it - or maybe that's sympathy gastrointestinal problems?) I find myself much more fatigued. I also feel, wrongly so due to my actual size (pics to come, eventually), more cumbersome and clumsy. Getting down on the floor with the boys is a feat but nothing compared to getting back up. And praise the Lord I do not have stairs in my home. The motivation and energy I've had to muster up each time I've had to climb stairs here at my mom and dad's would probably make a 90-year-old on oxygen shake their head in disgust with me. Perhaps this all speaks to my sad lack of physical in-shapeness more than anything else. I've been struggling more with catching my breath too, in any situation, particularly when I have to stand for long periods of time. I had this annoyance with both of my other pregnancies as well and have been told by the doctor it probably has to do with where my uterus and the placenta are; they may be infringing upon my diaphragm's freedom to move. My other wierd thing in both other pregnancies was an obsession with ice-crunching, so I'm waiting for that one to hit. When I was pregnant with Ben, even my fifth graders and their parents started commenting on my ice-eating quirk, so it's a pretty prominent affliction unfortunately. I guess there are worse cravings I could have.

More news and pics to come in coming days. My other hope for 2009 is to be more consistent with the blog and especially with photos. One day at a time...

Calgon, take me away!

One of the biggest differences between my full-time working life outside the home and my full-time working life as a stay-at-home mom is the fact that there are no breaks. Granted, with teaching there were few breaks to speak of in my day, but I could at least catch one 15-20 minute snatch of time in which to regroup or at least chug some coffee before returning to educate the masses. It's so wearing now to be needed ALL the time. Just in the typing of this short blog I've had a 3 1/2-year-old climbing on me, interrupting to ask for a snack, then needing to be disciplined for hurting his brother, and a one-year-old has needed his nose wiped, a toy retrieved, and tears dried from being hurt by his brother. To be fair, there are those rare days when both boys will nap, and that is glorious, a time when I definitely take at least 15 - 20 minutes for myself. But most of those days I just feel the pressing need to take care of various duties around the house. Today I am wishing I just had 20 minutes to myself. 20 minutes to drink coffee, read something that has nothing to do with children, and not be needed in any way. Sigh. Those of you reading this who work full time outside your home AND have children are rolling your eyes with lack of sympathy. I can take it. I've been there too, so I understand. I guess that's all the time I have for right now because my one-year-old is telling me by his cries and big brown eyes pointed in my direction that he needs me...

Happy Birthday to Benj!

Why is it that time seems to keep leaving me in the dust? I can't believe I'm updating about my boy's birthday 5 days after the fact. So sad. Anyway, yes, Benjamin is now one year old. Shocking. Once the Christmas season really started to set upon me I had flashbacks to last year at this time when he arrived. I have to say that even though I'm experiencing some sadness to realize how quickly his first year has gone by, I do love the age he is. He is absolutely adorable (not that I'm biased or anything) in the ways that he crawls around, smiles and laughs, and especially all of his babbling. My favorite thing right now is when he uses the one and only word currently in his vocabulary: "hi". Generally you'll get about 5 "hi"s in a row accompanied by some vigorous waving. Of course, whenever we want him to show this off to other people he won't perform. Then I just look like a delusional mom, making up skills. Luckily, he DID perform for the doctor last week Thursday. One of the few positive marks of the visit. Ok, I'm being a tad melodramatic as usual. But I left the office feeling a little let-down, like my kid isn't totally up to speed. Normally I don't really let that kind of stuff get to me since I know that children develop at their own pace. But it's hard to hear that your son should be pulling himself up to a standing position, for example, or saying more words. I guess I let it affect me because this news rode in on the coattails of the doctor discovering Ben had double ear infections when I didn't even have a clue he was sick. How nice is that? I guess it speaks for how tough my kids are (more than half of Jeran's ear infections during his life so far have been diagnosed on a fluke as well). Apparently my kids don't want to let on when they're hurting.
As far as Ben's current stats he weighs in at 22 lbs and I forgot how tall he is, but basically he has evened out to be average for his age (although looking at him, particularly the pudge that has collected on his thighs, cheeks, chin, and wrists) you might be tempted to think we're training him for a future in sumo. All of that chub sure is kissable though.
To celebrate his first year of life, Ben has already had a birthday playgroup (with one more to come on Friday) and a special birthday breakfast, as well as a small family celebration with just James, Jeran, and I. Rather than throwing one overblown bash I've decided to throw lots of little ones apparently.
Our weekend was busy but full of so much Christmas enjoyment. We headed to Michigan and celebrated James and Ben's birthday with a little breakfast outing on Saturday. Mom and Dad Louwerse and Gunnink, Jon and Melissa, and Rachel were all able to join us. In the afternoon we attended the Berghoef family bash which was a festive occasion filled with wonderful company, excellent food, and the signature Dirty Bingo game which always boasts a plethora of interesting White Elephant gifts as prizes. My personal favorite this year: the purple "pimp" hat that my cousin Jami ended up with (see? the biggest boxes aren't always the best!). For many a year in my family there was a lovely doorstop that made the rounds - wonder who ever ended up with that one? Anyway - a fun time had by all and also an opportunity to celebrate my grandma's 85th birthday. Truly a blessing.
Saturday night James and I ditched...er, left the kids at my parents' and headed back to Illinois for the 2nd annual Rumbuc Christmas gathering. We actually had to miss the first annual as I was sick, and, it turns out, 3 days away from giving birth. Almost the whole gang was in attendance which is really great considering our college crew only gets together about twice a year now. Again, a marvelous party with excellent company, tasty food, and a downright hilarious White Elephant gift exchange. The hot items this year were a Christmas-song-serenading chicken (complete with dance moves), a spa set, tequila, and a circa- 1980s cell phone. We're talking the phone as long as your arm and twice as wide. Ring any bells? So funny. We're already excited for next year!
Now it's only a week and a half before Christmas. Although I am throughly enjoying the season and don't feel I've allowed myself to get caught up in the frantic pace of it all, I'll admit that there is much Christmas shopping I need to accomplish yet and that makes me a little nervous. In the meantime I am thrilled to get the mail these days since I always get the biggest kick out of everyone's Christmas photos and letters. Which reminds me, I have some envelope addressing to do....

Technology shmecnology

Well, if you're one of the fortunate few to whom I have NOT lamented about the following, you heard it here first. Not only is our computer dying a slow, painful (to us, not it necessarily) and infuriating death (it's not uncommon for activities which once took me 20 minutes to now take 2 hours), but the camera has now taken a crap as well. It simply stopped turning on. And YES, I checked the batteries. While I may be stuck in the basics of technology I do know that much. So, at this most wonderful time of year, filled with Ben's first birthday, Jeran's Little Lambs program, and various Christmas festivities, I am left with only my semi-reliable brain to record and remember these events (not a likely prospect since I have difficulty remembering what day it is lately). I'm sure we will come up with a solution, but it remains to be seen whether that solution will put us out $100 + for a new camera.
So I realized that I've really backed myself into a corner with the name and address with which I've saddled this blog. Once baby #3 arrives 'round about Mayish, he or she is going to feel dreadfully left out. Perhaps not at first (they have that whole limited cognition thing going on), but certainly at 13 it will give them more subject matter about the lameness of parents to lament with their friends. Hmmm...not sure what to do about this one.
This morning was the long-awaited ultrasound. Now this is technology I can live with - it never gets old! It is truly an awe-inspiring miracle of God to be able to witness my child, in my womb, to see his or her heart beating, mouth moving, arm waving. To see the details of his/her spine, fingers, and toes. I can't possibly imagine what level of delusion people have to enter into to see that and, first of all, deny a loving and awesome Creator, and second of all, to justify abortion by saying this is not yet life. We were relieved and elated to get a perfect report about baby's development, and I stood strong and did not find out the gender (although, I'll admit, while the technician was scoping around "that area" I did end up peeking once - but didn't see ANYTHING!). James remained undecided so had the technician write it down and put it in an envelope for him. He's under strict instructions not to tell me (or anyone else so don't ask him!) if he ever does look. I am really excited about being surprised at the birth this time but also, because I'm an anal retentive planner, feel a little panicked that I don't know what gender of child will be exiting my womb in 4 months.
Tonight is Jeran's Christmas program for Little Lambs. I took a peek during their rehearsal today and found him doing anything BUT singing (even though he knows the songs and loves to sing when he's by himself): chewing on his shirt (a constant activity lately with this new oral fixation he's developed), standing up (while everyone else was sitting), and laying on the kid next to him. It will be adorable, no doubt, but maybe it's a good thing that camera is broken....

Holidays

I absolutely LOVE this time of the year from Thanksgiving to Christmas. The anticipation, the celebrations, the time spent with family. I'm all warm and fuzzy. I feel for those who, either recently or long ago, experienced a trauma that won't allow them to feel anything but dread and stress this time of year and hope that the TRUE joy in this season finds them in the midst of any pain.
Thanksgiving, as usual, was spent in Michigan with the fams. Our main meal was with the Louwerse side this year, and it was a wonderful, relaxing day of family, food, and fun. As an added bonus Brian, Keri, and Lily (James's brother and his wife and daughter who live in the Cayman Islands) were in town. The only pieces missing in this perfect day were Keith and Jen, Bella and Keagan (we miss you guys! The 2 of us need to stop getting preggo, Jen, so we actually see each other :-) And seeing each other on Skype doesn't totally count). We also spent time with my side of the family (Mom, Dad, Jon, and Melissa) on Friday which was great. Our only regret in the weekend was missing several friends and the great-grandparents. We are looking forward to Christmas and an extended time in the motherland with everyone.
Our Thanksgiving travels were made a whole lot easier this year with the addition of Minnie the van to our family. I still can't get over all the space! I have still been loving the new van and feel I have managed to hang on to shreds of my coolness (what little I started with) while transitioning into a mini van mom.
Our holidays have been and will be more enjoyable with James's CFP test out of the way as well. It was a loooooong year this past year that included classes 1 - 2 times a week, the week-long review class, and then countless nights of studying. I got the tiniest glimpse into the life of a single parent during that time, and James and I are both breathing sighs of relief now that he has more free time. The weekend of the actual test (Nov. 21 and 22) were extremely stressful. It really is a crazy hard test and James was, unfortunately, overwhelmed and not feeling terribly confident going into it. After finishing the Friday portion he felt ok, but all he could say on Saturday was, "That was hard." :-) But, like I said, we're happy it's over and only have to wait
5-7 more weeks for the results. Tick tock....
Our latest adventure took place last night when we tried giving Jeran a haircut here at home. It came down to trading $20 for an hour of our time (and a portion of our hearing which seems to have been permanently dampened by the screams). Unfortunately, about 2 minutes into the project our clippers showed themselves to be less than adequate for the task, but James pushed on and the end result is, in his own words, "Not bad but not good". True, there are a few stray patches here and there which sprout out of his scalp but for the most part it's a vast improvement on the permanent bedhead we were subjecting JJ to before. I don't really know what his deal is with haircuts but they turn him into an incoherent banshee. It's a little like having his fingernails cut which I haven't had to do in a year since he started taking it upon himself to bite and pick them off himself. Ew. I shudder to think what his self-made remedy for haircuts could be.
Baby Bean is doing just fine. I've started to feel movement (mostly in the evenings) and next week Tuesday we have our ultrasound. I'm feeling more and more convinced that I don't want to find out this time. James and I are still working out a compromise since he's pretty sure he DOES want to know. Time will tell what the final decisions are...
For now, greetings of Christmas joy and peace to you as you go through this holiday season. I am challenged this year not to lose sight of the true Reason for our joy amidst all the busyness this time can hold and all the "musts" we sometimes feel in this month.