I consider summer officially here because A) It's been freaking HOT this whole week! Therefore we've broken out the kiddie pool and slip 'n slide. And B) Jeran celebrated (bittersweetly) his last day of preschool today. My dear, generous friend, Amy, drove on down with her girls to watch Ben and Gray so I could attend Jeran's last-day picnic. I sat watching him run around, all hot and sweaty, yelling and laughing and pretending with his friends, amazed that he has reached this milestone. Now, I grant you, it's no PhD in psychology (props to my bro-in-law, Keith, for that ENORMOUS milestone!), but it has been an important year of growth for him in all ways: physically, academically, developmentally, socially. We've seen a lot of incredible changes in him, and his teachers have been instrumental in that. So I was really sad to close this chapter and say good-bye. (Jeran was too, but I think it will hit him later. He was a little bit too anxious to get to D.Q. for his promised celebratory ice cream to really get sad in the moment.) Kindergarten looms, and as I use such an ominous-sounding word as looms to describe what really should be an exciting, as well as customary and not unexpected next step, I start to realize how averse to change I really am. And it would appear I am starting to project that onto my children as well. I want them to embrace where God is leading, not cower from it. But that's a tall order for me, so it can be difficult to teach my kids.
For now, we have an entire summer of fun, fun, fun to look forward to.
Ben, dear Ben. Still into everything and anything. Laughing all the time (except for those times he's screaming in that banshee-esque, two-year-old fashion when he is told no, is frustrated, isn't allowed to do things himself, or is pestered by his older brother). He displays more and more of Jeran's openness with people, even moreso than Jeran at times. He is not content to leave a store unless the sales clerk (and anyone else in a 10-foot radius) has given him an enthusiastic response to his "hi" and "bye". He is mischievous and curious and adorable with a capital A.
Grayson is dangerously and excitingly close to walking! Personally, I vote for the walking with this one. I just think summer will be SOOOO much easier if he's got that skill under his belt. JJ and Ben LOVE to be outdoors (and I've got the sunburn to prove it), and it would just make my life a tad easier not to have to concern myself with concrete burns on the knees or with what inedible object is going into his mouth next. Like his bros, he is a happy, carefree, generally social and smiling boy. I say boy, not baby. Despite his round, bald, adorably shiny head (challenged in the area of hair growth, also like his siblings) he seems less and less like a baby to me. His mannerisms, the way he tries to copycat, the almost-walking...it all points to a BOY. My joyful, kissable, active explorer of a boy. And yet, on some level, always my baby. :)
Oh yeah, and the adults in our household (I'm no dummy. People only ask about us out of sheer obligation). On top of being the social coordinator for my three men-about-town I have taken a very part-time administrative assistant position. It's something I do from home and has been a perfect way to turn my thoughts away from Legos, diapers, and PBS cartoons once in awhile. I'm very much looking forward to a summer filled with plans to hang out with family and friends, vacation a bit (camping and Colorado, to name a few), and soak up time with my beloved boys (all 4 of them).
James has been keeping extremely busy with work and his role as treasurer for our new church (which finally has a name other than just "church plant". And that would be CenterPointe). He also remains an incredible husband, dad, son, and brother. I know he'd like to see a little more fishing and golf enter into the picture, so we'll see what summer brings him.
That's the haps here! Happy summer to you and a safe and restful Memorial Day!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Reminder
If things are quiet in the house, always always ALWAYS go in immediate search of Ben.
Yes, that is my mascara on his face and my toothbrush in his mouth.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Momma's Day Love
My mom has shown me by example that with God all things are possible as she has walked through some giant challenges and hurts in her life. She has a real, deep faith. She is a prayer warrior. She is gentle, patient, wise, kind, and genuine. She is a selfless wife, mother, and grandmother. She has become my friend as well as my mom and is one of the greatest blessings in my life.
My mom-in-law is the hardest working woman I have ever met and has passed on this trait to every single one of her children. She is endlessly giving and unconditionally loving, compassionate, tender, and godly. She has exemplified humility and contentment, and she gave me one of the most incredible, highly treasured gifts I've ever received: my husband.
Just a few of my incredible mommy friends/family who have taught me about life and parenthood (in no way a comprehensive list):
Robyn, who has taught me about making my kids my top priority but also about not giving up on my God-given identity, still pursuing my passions and interests, about always struggling to find that balance. Most importantly, who has taught me about keeping my eyes open to the world around me and challenging the status quo, to never settle.
Steph, who has truly been changed by the love of Christ, and is living out her faith authentically, powerfully modeling it for her children so that they can't help but be transformed by it. Who has taught me the joy of caring for my family and home and the equal joy of standing confidently in my identity as a woman of God. Who always listens, always prays.
Amy, who has shown me I am not alone in my struggles as a mom and wife but also that I am not a failure because I struggle. Who has encouraged me through her own life not to give up on pursuing Christ and to give to others selflessly.
Kris, who is showing me that we can temper the madness of motherhood with humor while also being real about the madness. Her authenticity and encouragement are more valuable to me than she probably even knows.
Aunt Joy, who has encouraged me to persevere because this too shall pass and who has truly been "great" to my children and me. :)
Jeni, Jill, and Ruth, truly my sisters, who have taught me about living in the moment, loving deeply, and staying true to myself.
Kara & Cathi, who have shown me the importance of just plain having fun with my kids and who have always had a listening ear (or email).
My grandmothers, who got this whole ball rolling. Who have clung to their faith through trials and triumphs, and who have given me years of their time and love. Who gave me my mom and dad, playing a pivotal role in who they are as well as who I am.
Jess, who has shown me how to embrace change in life fearlessly (even though sometimes we're scared spitless).
Trudy and Karen, who have taught me grace amidst the chaos of life and motherhood, and who so selflessly give.
Kathy, who has shown me how to put family first and know my limits, but who also so naturally finds ways to give of herself to others.
Jeanne, my "big sister" and dear friend. Who has stepped in and so willingly been there for my kids when I could not. Who models an unselfish and tireless love in caring for her husband and kids.
Happy Mothers' Day to these rockin' moms in my life and all of those who I neglected to mention. You ALL provide me with encouragement, support, and inspiration. My love to each one of you.
My mom-in-law is the hardest working woman I have ever met and has passed on this trait to every single one of her children. She is endlessly giving and unconditionally loving, compassionate, tender, and godly. She has exemplified humility and contentment, and she gave me one of the most incredible, highly treasured gifts I've ever received: my husband.
Just a few of my incredible mommy friends/family who have taught me about life and parenthood (in no way a comprehensive list):
Robyn, who has taught me about making my kids my top priority but also about not giving up on my God-given identity, still pursuing my passions and interests, about always struggling to find that balance. Most importantly, who has taught me about keeping my eyes open to the world around me and challenging the status quo, to never settle.
Steph, who has truly been changed by the love of Christ, and is living out her faith authentically, powerfully modeling it for her children so that they can't help but be transformed by it. Who has taught me the joy of caring for my family and home and the equal joy of standing confidently in my identity as a woman of God. Who always listens, always prays.
Amy, who has shown me I am not alone in my struggles as a mom and wife but also that I am not a failure because I struggle. Who has encouraged me through her own life not to give up on pursuing Christ and to give to others selflessly.
Kris, who is showing me that we can temper the madness of motherhood with humor while also being real about the madness. Her authenticity and encouragement are more valuable to me than she probably even knows.
Aunt Joy, who has encouraged me to persevere because this too shall pass and who has truly been "great" to my children and me. :)
Jeni, Jill, and Ruth, truly my sisters, who have taught me about living in the moment, loving deeply, and staying true to myself.
Kara & Cathi, who have shown me the importance of just plain having fun with my kids and who have always had a listening ear (or email).
My grandmothers, who got this whole ball rolling. Who have clung to their faith through trials and triumphs, and who have given me years of their time and love. Who gave me my mom and dad, playing a pivotal role in who they are as well as who I am.
Jess, who has shown me how to embrace change in life fearlessly (even though sometimes we're scared spitless).
Trudy and Karen, who have taught me grace amidst the chaos of life and motherhood, and who so selflessly give.
Kathy, who has shown me how to put family first and know my limits, but who also so naturally finds ways to give of herself to others.
Jeanne, my "big sister" and dear friend. Who has stepped in and so willingly been there for my kids when I could not. Who models an unselfish and tireless love in caring for her husband and kids.
Happy Mothers' Day to these rockin' moms in my life and all of those who I neglected to mention. You ALL provide me with encouragement, support, and inspiration. My love to each one of you.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Mad Cow....Chicken, Pig, Soybean
I made the brilliant mistake last week of watching "Food Inc." on PBS. Brilliant because wowee oh wow did I need to have my eyes opened to what my family and I are actually ingesting. A mistake because now I have my eyes opened to what my family and I are actually ingesting. I question everything that goes into my mouth these days, wondering where it actually came from, how it was raised, etc. Do I still eat these questionable things? Well, yeah. I don't want to starve. But I of the iron stomach, who will eat (and very nearly have eaten) almost anything, find myself queasy as I pass by fast food restaurants and panicky as I peruse the grocery store aisles, wondering what's safe.
If you haven't been privy, yet, to this documentary, you're probably getting talked out of it right now. But don't. It is SO important to be aware of these things in our lives and I have put off this topic, amidst many others, basically because I'm lazy. It's tough to change. But I would rather be slightly inconvenienced and know that I am making healthier choices for myself and my kids. The synopsis of Food Inc. is basically that our food and the way it's raised are being determined by the almighty dollar. Giant fast food chains as well as a handful of manufacturers are monopolizing the food industry and have found ways to cut corners that are horrifying. Just one example: beef. Cows were designed to roam grassy fields, chewing their cud and naturally fertiziling the ground upon which they live (if you catch my drift). Instead, the powers that be have found that it's cheaper and quicker to corn-feed cattle and raise them in mass quantities upon flat expanses of muddy acreage. The short story here is that this has led to e. coli infestation in these animals. Rather than going back to the natural way of things, however, industry has instead found high tech ways of "cleaning" our meat before it finds its way into our burgers. One such way being meat "filler" that has been showered in an ammonia mixture. Grossed out yet?
In James's and my quest to become healthier and raise healthy kids we find that this food issue is not one we can ignore, especially having been educated by this film. I was outraged at how my food is being controlled and misused, and, darn it, I intend to do something about it. What, you may ask? Going organic is one way. I love stores like Trader Joe's who give me multiple options in this area. We also intend to start buying more local produce and livestock. I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting the start-up of farmers' markets in my area. If you live in the Chicago area check here or here for a list of local markets. I also hope to check out the Green City Market located downtown (which is year-round - woohoo!). We also are interested in things like fruit and veggie co-ops (still learning about those) and buying a cow. Seriously. Not to raise (though I'm tempted) but bought direct from a farmer and then butchered for us by a local butcher. It all sounds pretty extreme right? Well, extreme times call for extreme measures I guess. I know it probably means slightly more cost and time investment for us, but in the end I see it as worth it. Now, realistically, does this mean I will never again visit a fast-food chain or pick up produce at such-and-such grocery store? Of course not. But can I work to make changes, however small, to produce dividends of benefit for my family in the long run? You betcha.
Seriously, see Food Inc. All ignorance ever produces is more ignorance, and I refuse to believe that is truly bliss.
If you haven't been privy, yet, to this documentary, you're probably getting talked out of it right now. But don't. It is SO important to be aware of these things in our lives and I have put off this topic, amidst many others, basically because I'm lazy. It's tough to change. But I would rather be slightly inconvenienced and know that I am making healthier choices for myself and my kids. The synopsis of Food Inc. is basically that our food and the way it's raised are being determined by the almighty dollar. Giant fast food chains as well as a handful of manufacturers are monopolizing the food industry and have found ways to cut corners that are horrifying. Just one example: beef. Cows were designed to roam grassy fields, chewing their cud and naturally fertiziling the ground upon which they live (if you catch my drift). Instead, the powers that be have found that it's cheaper and quicker to corn-feed cattle and raise them in mass quantities upon flat expanses of muddy acreage. The short story here is that this has led to e. coli infestation in these animals. Rather than going back to the natural way of things, however, industry has instead found high tech ways of "cleaning" our meat before it finds its way into our burgers. One such way being meat "filler" that has been showered in an ammonia mixture. Grossed out yet?
In James's and my quest to become healthier and raise healthy kids we find that this food issue is not one we can ignore, especially having been educated by this film. I was outraged at how my food is being controlled and misused, and, darn it, I intend to do something about it. What, you may ask? Going organic is one way. I love stores like Trader Joe's who give me multiple options in this area. We also intend to start buying more local produce and livestock. I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting the start-up of farmers' markets in my area. If you live in the Chicago area check here or here for a list of local markets. I also hope to check out the Green City Market located downtown (which is year-round - woohoo!). We also are interested in things like fruit and veggie co-ops (still learning about those) and buying a cow. Seriously. Not to raise (though I'm tempted) but bought direct from a farmer and then butchered for us by a local butcher. It all sounds pretty extreme right? Well, extreme times call for extreme measures I guess. I know it probably means slightly more cost and time investment for us, but in the end I see it as worth it. Now, realistically, does this mean I will never again visit a fast-food chain or pick up produce at such-and-such grocery store? Of course not. But can I work to make changes, however small, to produce dividends of benefit for my family in the long run? You betcha.
Seriously, see Food Inc. All ignorance ever produces is more ignorance, and I refuse to believe that is truly bliss.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Baby boy
It's amazing, but after five years and three kids I still have moments of mind-blowing realization that I'm a mom. I'm somebody's MOM. How did this happen? (Ok, well, I know HOW it happened.) There are countless challenges but also so many precious moments in the midst of motherhood. One of those was yesterday, my baby boy turning one. The last kid (Lord willing) so I find his milestones much more bittersweet than with my first two. While it is incredible and thrilling to watch him creep, explore, laugh hysterically at his brothers, eat bigger and better things, and start to get the hang of this whole standing up and moving his feet thing, I also feel some sadness at his ever increasing independence (and that of JJ and Ben), knowing that my boys are growing up and, eventually, away. I am trying to be more conscious of the passing of time and more stingy about wishing it away. I read a great article about living your life fully in each moment and not letting the multitasking, the planning, the virtual reality detract from what's happening to and around you now. I SO often do that. I'm so set on getting my agenda done, crossing off the items on my list, and looking to what's ahead that I'm not really present in my own life. And in that spirit, my boys are munching popcorn and watching cartoons (or munching Cheerios and watching the ceiling fan, depending on developmental ability). So I think I'll go and enjoy this fleeting moment in our lives with them. 
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Spring has been treating us well over here at the Louwerse homestead though we've found ourselves increasingly busy as school and our various other activities start to wind down. We got Jeran signed up for kindergarten last week and that, alone, is blowing my mind as I start to think ahead to preparing him for that transition. Summer doesn't show any signs of slowing down which is bittersweet. We have SO many amazing things planned, but I just know it will fly by. There's the pessimistic part of me rearing it's ugly head. One day at a time, lady, one day at a time! As we continue on full steam ahead, I will leave you with some photos of my darlings. 
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Coming Out
My love affair with food is something that started out as what could probably be described as harmless but has grown into something obsessive, out-of-control, and just plain wrong. I've never had to watch my weight, and somehow this has become an excuse to eat whatever I want. And I do mean, whatEVER I want. Things that defy logic and reason. Orders of loaded nachos that were originally designed for a party of three. Portion sizes and helpings that would make large men cry with discomfort. Late night snacks that would probably feed a small, third-world village if they weren't so repulsively unhealthy. I've always known that how I relate to food is slightly unbalanced, but I have finally started admitting to myself that I don't eat to live. I LIVE to eat. I'll be eating a perfectly great meal and dreaming ahead to the next one, wondering what I'll be having then. My moods are often hinged on what kinds of goodies will find their way onto my palate in the hours ahead. Entire days will go by without a fruit or vegetable or anything, really, with any sort of nutritional value, passing my lips. I'll recount my liquid intake at the close of a day and realize that coffee and Coke have been the only things I've guzzled in the past 24 hours. And condiments. Mmmm, condiments. Oh, the condiments.
Food has, without doubt, become my idol in life. The intense level of mental, emotional, and physical energy that goes into something that should be so simple is frightening to me. It's an example of something that sin has gone and distorted, made unnatural. God created this amazing work of art, my body, to process and be fueled by some pretty amazing natural creations (we can call Cheetos natural creations, right?), and I know His design wasn't for my love and affections to be placed on His creation rather than Him, the Creator. And as I see my kids starting to adopt some of my eating habits, I cringe and finally see the need (and, beyond that, feel READY for) a lasting change.
Yesterday morning, some girlfriends and I discovered that we're all pretty much in this same boat: unhealthy relationships with food, readiness to change. So we formed a little support group for each other and have decided to set six-week-long goals as baby steps to changing our habits and lifestyle. We're trying to keep each other accountable and will celebrate our victories together (because I am CONFIDENT there will be victories!). So for this first six weeks my baby steps are:
1) Drink 64 oz. of water a day.
2) No more after-dinner snacking (you'll be happy to know I pulled the Crunch 'n Munch out at 10:00 last night, remembered this goal, then promptly put it back).
3) Exercise 4 times a week.
And perhaps you can give me some accountability too, now that I have spewed out my closeted skeletons to you, dear cyberspace friends. If you see me going up for that third or fourth helping, debating ordering that Big Mac versus, well, pretty much ANYTHING else, you can just lean over and whisper a little code word as a reminder. We'll make it...."condiments".
Food has, without doubt, become my idol in life. The intense level of mental, emotional, and physical energy that goes into something that should be so simple is frightening to me. It's an example of something that sin has gone and distorted, made unnatural. God created this amazing work of art, my body, to process and be fueled by some pretty amazing natural creations (we can call Cheetos natural creations, right?), and I know His design wasn't for my love and affections to be placed on His creation rather than Him, the Creator. And as I see my kids starting to adopt some of my eating habits, I cringe and finally see the need (and, beyond that, feel READY for) a lasting change.
Yesterday morning, some girlfriends and I discovered that we're all pretty much in this same boat: unhealthy relationships with food, readiness to change. So we formed a little support group for each other and have decided to set six-week-long goals as baby steps to changing our habits and lifestyle. We're trying to keep each other accountable and will celebrate our victories together (because I am CONFIDENT there will be victories!). So for this first six weeks my baby steps are:
1) Drink 64 oz. of water a day.
2) No more after-dinner snacking (you'll be happy to know I pulled the Crunch 'n Munch out at 10:00 last night, remembered this goal, then promptly put it back).
3) Exercise 4 times a week.
And perhaps you can give me some accountability too, now that I have spewed out my closeted skeletons to you, dear cyberspace friends. If you see me going up for that third or fourth helping, debating ordering that Big Mac versus, well, pretty much ANYTHING else, you can just lean over and whisper a little code word as a reminder. We'll make it...."condiments".
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