Harrumph...Kids today

Yes, we chuckle and attribute the above phrase to the "older generation". But let me tell you, I have found myself thinking and saying it in a number of different ways over the past several months. This week I had a very freeing thought while at school: "I am NOT cut out for this line of work." I'm just not. At least not right now. I am SO discouraged as I look around me each day. In the intricate environment that is school, I see an infinite number of students who are apathetic, cruel, unable to focus, easily bored, irresponsible, disrespectful. It is truly an epidemic. The class I have this year is beyond challenging and it looks like the next two classes coming up are not much more positive. Now, this is not to say that all of my students exhibit these characteristics. That's far from the truth. But I feel like the negative attitudes are outweighing the positive and it just gets me down. Now, why was admitting to myself that I'm not cut out for this so freeing? I'm not sure, except that perhaps it allows for the possibility that the problem is me and not them. Maybe I am just not the teacher to get through to them and inspire them to make a change. Maybe it means that there is still hope for them, and the burden of responsibility does not rest solely on me this year to break through the apathy. Because I feel like my bag of tricks is empty and my energy depleted and that's hard to face. But knowing that I'm at a time in my life when I just don't have enough to give also frees me by knowing I have made the right choice not to return next year. I have the opportunity to focus on my own children and raise them to be the respectful, honoring, responsible individuals that are seemingly so lacking today. I have the chance to monitor their activities and help guide their choices and instruct them within the context of our faith. Maybe that's what gets me during my days of teaching. I don't have much sway in the lives of my students. Certainly I am an influence, but I cannot work against what has been reinforced in the first 10 years of my kids' lives. And God has not really put that responsibility on me. I don't mean to say, either, that my children will turn out perfectly or that my way is best. But I pray that I am able to pass onto them values that were modeled for me in my home that seem to be passing away too quickly in today's world with all of culture's influences. I don't know. I just feel jaded these days. It's difficult for me to feel that way and probably skews my true view on things.