Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Legacy
I attended my last MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) function for the year this morning, and the speaker was really phenomenal. His topic was on that of "Visionary Parenting" (also the name of his ministry, which you can take a look at: www.visionaryparenting.com ), specifically, how do we as parents INTENTIONALLY pass on faith and character to our children? He referenced the verses in Deuteronomy 6:5-7 about loving the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength, and doing this through commitment to His commandments and passing these on to our children. He named the family unit as a God-designed discipleship center - this is our ministry, whether we are parents who have further ministries (or jobs) outside the home or not. Home is the place where we disciple our children and impress upon them a love for God. We have divinely ordained power over our children's hearts that no one else can touch. This was a good reminder for me, to be sure, but what really hit me was his closing prayer. Not only did he pray for the souls of our children but went on to pray for the souls-to-be of our grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I was floored. I had never thought that far ahead in my lineage and how the way I'm living now affects the future so profoundly. I am constantly thankful for my grandparents (and great-grandparents, etc.) and the heritage of faith that, through their lives and commitment to Christ, has been passed down to me. What a sobering thought to even imagine that, because I would not take the time to very intentionally bring Christ into every aspect of our home, I could end that legacy. Not that that is the case. But I can say with certainty that we haven't been doing this job as whole-heartedly as we could and should be. It will involve a hard look at priorities in our home and what are the things we are prioritizing (involving our time, money, etc.) teaching our kids about God and our relationship to Him? It will also involve more committed self-discipline in my own faith walk, which is an ongoing battle for me.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Well, lucky readers, I have an updated status on Benjamin's weight for you all since I had to take him into the prime care center tonight. He is 25 lbs. Weren't you losing sleep over that tidbit of info?
Our dear boy has been congested for the past week or so and today woke up from his nap with a 102 degree fever. Tonight he awakened at 9 pm with a 105 degree fever. First order of business was to panic a little bit, then give Motrin, then call Mom Gunnink for some nurse's advice, and then I (calmly of course) drove him to prime care. Turns out he has an infection in his right ear and a sinus infection. Glorious. He was such a trooper through all the doctor and nurse rigamarole as well as a late-night trip through the Walgreens pharmacy drive-thru (side note: MANY, many more places should have drive-thru service. The post office for example). He is now sleeping soundly after being juiced up with Tylenol and amoxicillan and will hopefully remain a sleeping cutie until 7 a.m. at LEAST, I hope.
Our dear boy has been congested for the past week or so and today woke up from his nap with a 102 degree fever. Tonight he awakened at 9 pm with a 105 degree fever. First order of business was to panic a little bit, then give Motrin, then call Mom Gunnink for some nurse's advice, and then I (calmly of course) drove him to prime care. Turns out he has an infection in his right ear and a sinus infection. Glorious. He was such a trooper through all the doctor and nurse rigamarole as well as a late-night trip through the Walgreens pharmacy drive-thru (side note: MANY, many more places should have drive-thru service. The post office for example). He is now sleeping soundly after being juiced up with Tylenol and amoxicillan and will hopefully remain a sleeping cutie until 7 a.m. at LEAST, I hope.
Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's to the doc we go!
Three out of the four (and a half) members of our family have been to visit the doctor for routine check-ups in the last couple of weeks. Here are our updates:
Ben: I wish I had more specifics about weight, height, etc. For whatever reason we didn't get these stats in writing this time, so I don't have much in the way of detail to relay. I can tell you that he was discovered to have another case of double ear infections (once again undetected by me - no mother of the year award here; however, James had been insisting for the past week that I should get him checked out. WHY don't I listen to my man more often?). Developmentally he seems to be a-ok and right on track. His words are a bit slow in coming. To date we get lots of "da" (for dad) and "mama" as well as "hi" and "bye" accompanied by waving or blown kisses. He's been doing a lot more mimicking so we've caught (what we believe, anyway) to be the makings of "thank you", "J.J.", and "love you". And while he's finally got the crawling on all fours thing down-pat, independent walking has been a reluctant achievement for him as well. He'll cruise while hanging onto our hands or other objects, but only in the last couple of days has he finally started taking a few steps on his own between mommy and daddy. Which of course we have been ecstatically enthusiastic about. He is as joyful and silly as ever. This is an incredibly fun age for me, albeit busy because he is into EVERYTHING. Consuming food is still a favorite pastime (just try to get an edible item past this guy), but he's grown a bit pickier as time goes on.
Jeran: As with Ben, specifics on his growth are absent this time around. All looked healthy and well, although we can't say that with any kind of certainty regarding his ears since he threw a screaming, murderous fit when the doctor tried to go near them. Which leads us to some of the developmental questions we brought up. We've been concerned for some time about JJ's coping abilities (or lack thereof) and his sensitivity to certain things. Case in point, anything to do with his ears. He also despises haircuts and claim they hurt. I haven't cut his fingernails in probably two years because, again, we encounter a screaming-bloody-murder tantrum. He now simply picks at or bites his nails to avoid the dreaded clippers. Another thing we've noticed is (as I've mentioned here before) the intensity of his hugs and the frequency with which he needs physical touch. He uses his whole body when giving a hug, especially the face which he will grind into yours with incredible force. While he's doing this he's biting on his cheek which I take to be some sort of sensory input device he needs. We also notice that he melts down SO fast when something frustrates him, doesn't go his way, etc. SO - with all that said, the doctor's advice was to go ahead and get some testing done if we are truly concerned. For her, he falls into a category of kids who, at this age, could really go either way: he will yet grow out of many of these things OR they will turn into larger issues as time goes on. So I'll be putting in a call to to our school district one of these days to see if they can get the ball rolling on that. The doc reiterated that she doesn't have major concerns about Jeran and remarked on his intelligence as well, but I guess I would rather know at this point what is "normal" and what is not. The teacher in me feels that if there's some sort of occupational therapy or sensory input that would be beneficial to Jeran and would allow him to thrive even more then why wouldn't I want to pursue that? We'll keep you posted on these and many other things Jeran-related. His obsessions still revolve around moving vehicles, specifically trains (at least we've branched out from "Thomas and friends" as the answer to the question: Who are your friends?). He also has been asking incessantly when his dirt will come back so he can play outside with his trucks and bulldozers. :-)
Me: My latest doctor appointment was yesterday and all looks great with baby. Growing well, strong heartbeat, head is down and in the ready position. Now we just need for other things to start happening. As of yesterday I am at one centimeter dilated which is encouragement that SOMEthing is happening, but by no means has me giddy with anticipation. Ben was 2 weeks early, and the doctor seemed to indicate that that could easily mean another early baby here. But that stuff isn't foolproof, I know. For many reasons, I'm torn between wanting to last another week (or even two) and just wanting this baby to come yesterday. I'm trying to just trust God's timing and keep getting things ready, but I think if next week's appointment gives me the same results I will be one frustrated mama. Overall I'm feeling good, just tired and cumbersome in my movements. It's so hard to keep up with my boys when feeling this way, not to mention caring for my husband and my house on top of it. And yet, it comes and goes. Some days I'm able to accomplish a lot, other days getting out of bed is a success. In any case, the waiting game continues....
Ben: I wish I had more specifics about weight, height, etc. For whatever reason we didn't get these stats in writing this time, so I don't have much in the way of detail to relay. I can tell you that he was discovered to have another case of double ear infections (once again undetected by me - no mother of the year award here; however, James had been insisting for the past week that I should get him checked out. WHY don't I listen to my man more often?). Developmentally he seems to be a-ok and right on track. His words are a bit slow in coming. To date we get lots of "da" (for dad) and "mama" as well as "hi" and "bye" accompanied by waving or blown kisses. He's been doing a lot more mimicking so we've caught (what we believe, anyway) to be the makings of "thank you", "J.J.", and "love you". And while he's finally got the crawling on all fours thing down-pat, independent walking has been a reluctant achievement for him as well. He'll cruise while hanging onto our hands or other objects, but only in the last couple of days has he finally started taking a few steps on his own between mommy and daddy. Which of course we have been ecstatically enthusiastic about. He is as joyful and silly as ever. This is an incredibly fun age for me, albeit busy because he is into EVERYTHING. Consuming food is still a favorite pastime (just try to get an edible item past this guy), but he's grown a bit pickier as time goes on.
Jeran: As with Ben, specifics on his growth are absent this time around. All looked healthy and well, although we can't say that with any kind of certainty regarding his ears since he threw a screaming, murderous fit when the doctor tried to go near them. Which leads us to some of the developmental questions we brought up. We've been concerned for some time about JJ's coping abilities (or lack thereof) and his sensitivity to certain things. Case in point, anything to do with his ears. He also despises haircuts and claim they hurt. I haven't cut his fingernails in probably two years because, again, we encounter a screaming-bloody-murder tantrum. He now simply picks at or bites his nails to avoid the dreaded clippers. Another thing we've noticed is (as I've mentioned here before) the intensity of his hugs and the frequency with which he needs physical touch. He uses his whole body when giving a hug, especially the face which he will grind into yours with incredible force. While he's doing this he's biting on his cheek which I take to be some sort of sensory input device he needs. We also notice that he melts down SO fast when something frustrates him, doesn't go his way, etc. SO - with all that said, the doctor's advice was to go ahead and get some testing done if we are truly concerned. For her, he falls into a category of kids who, at this age, could really go either way: he will yet grow out of many of these things OR they will turn into larger issues as time goes on. So I'll be putting in a call to to our school district one of these days to see if they can get the ball rolling on that. The doc reiterated that she doesn't have major concerns about Jeran and remarked on his intelligence as well, but I guess I would rather know at this point what is "normal" and what is not. The teacher in me feels that if there's some sort of occupational therapy or sensory input that would be beneficial to Jeran and would allow him to thrive even more then why wouldn't I want to pursue that? We'll keep you posted on these and many other things Jeran-related. His obsessions still revolve around moving vehicles, specifically trains (at least we've branched out from "Thomas and friends" as the answer to the question: Who are your friends?). He also has been asking incessantly when his dirt will come back so he can play outside with his trucks and bulldozers. :-)
Me: My latest doctor appointment was yesterday and all looks great with baby. Growing well, strong heartbeat, head is down and in the ready position. Now we just need for other things to start happening. As of yesterday I am at one centimeter dilated which is encouragement that SOMEthing is happening, but by no means has me giddy with anticipation. Ben was 2 weeks early, and the doctor seemed to indicate that that could easily mean another early baby here. But that stuff isn't foolproof, I know. For many reasons, I'm torn between wanting to last another week (or even two) and just wanting this baby to come yesterday. I'm trying to just trust God's timing and keep getting things ready, but I think if next week's appointment gives me the same results I will be one frustrated mama. Overall I'm feeling good, just tired and cumbersome in my movements. It's so hard to keep up with my boys when feeling this way, not to mention caring for my husband and my house on top of it. And yet, it comes and goes. Some days I'm able to accomplish a lot, other days getting out of bed is a success. In any case, the waiting game continues....
Thursday, April 9, 2009
My life with boys
Although I feel that, somehow, I should have seen this coming, I find that I am taken aback at my sons' recent obsession with their "junk" (not to put too fine a point on it). With Jeran I can see the natural obsession as he was just recently potty trained and, let's face it, James and I spent a lot of time directing his attention to that area of his body. I just didn't realize he would become SO enamored with it. To the point that I find myself uttering, dozens of times a day, phrases like, "Hands out!" or "Keep it in your pants!" and then liberally squirting hand sanitizer and/or chasing him to the bathroom to wash his hands. I know this is all very normal, but, not being able to relate, it also is a tad disturbing to me. Especially when he is exposing himself to family members (thank goodness it's ONLY been family members so far). We've had to sternly have the talk about which body parts stay private. Ben, to a much lesser degree, also seems to have picked up on this curiosity about his anatomy, but he has much more limited access at this point, so it's not as big of an issue. Lest any of you should be squeamish from here on out about having my boys around and touching you or your things, rest assured we remain vigilant about sanitary procedures following these "fondling" episodes.
The boys and I enjoyed a week of "spring break" last week . It doesn't totally count when you don't have a full time job outside the home, I don't think, but the fact that I essentially have 3 part-time jobs and that I got a break from all of them last week, made it count for me. We had LOTS of fun meeting up with friends and just in general enjoying a break from some of the normal routines. The weekend was a different story. I nearly put myself into pre-term labor getting all crazy and obsessive about cleaning and organizing the house. I've been taking care of these types of things slooooowly over the past month or so but for some reason, Saturday was THE day that I had to get it all taken care of. Which I did, and it only took me about 12 hours. Ridiculous. A big project that got taken care of a couple of weeks ago, thanks to 5 friends and 2 chainsaws, was the removal of a huge dead evergreen in our front yard. Pics below. It was a precarious process being planted so close to the house and all, but luckily there were some experienced men in the crew that had an inkling what to do. I still can't decide if the beer involved was helpful or contributed to the precariousness. With all that said and done, I do feel ready for baby and whatever else may come our way.
Speaking of baby, we are in countdown mode. 4 weeks to go! I have watched way too many friends suffer in the past year as they convinced themselves they would give birth early, so I'm trying not to go there mentally. However, after having Ben two weeks early, feeling the way I do (which is REALLLLY low on energy and tight/heavy in the belly), having the doc say that baby is already in position (I know this really doesn't mean anything - I'm not totally delusional), and just in general really HOPING that I go a little bit early, well, I'm no mathematical genius, but I really hope this all adds up to an early baby. Time will tell. It's definitely tough to keep up with the boys these days so, even though I know I'll be totally low in the sleep department, I'm anxious to get some of my normal energy level back.
36 weeks!
36 weeks!
While we're on the topic of sleep, it's once again escaping us in our household. For the past week or so we've had one or both boys waking up several times a night. For Ben we blame it on teeth although I don't know if that's really the case. With Jeran I don't really know what's going on . We seem to go through spurts of really long periods of great sleep and then weeks like this past one where it feels as if we'll never sleep again. I understand that it's good preparation for having a newborn again, but quite frankly, keep the preparation. I'd rather just have my sleep while I can. :-)
Friday, March 20, 2009
Jeran Josiah
I'm painfully delinquent, once again, in posting. Jeran's birthday is 3 days past (he's my St. Patty's Day baby), but I'm still going to take the opportunity to commemorate my boy's special day. We started out the day with mommy on a little bit of a guilt trip since I accepted a subbing job. It was pre-arranged, and I figured he would be in Little Lambs for half the day anyway, so I was technically only missing spending HALF of his birthday with him. My friend, Kris, took the boys and arranged a fabulous birthday party for him in the afternoon, so in my opinion he probably had a better day than if he had been stuck at home with me anyway. :-) In the evening James and I took him to the train restaurant where we celebrated his 3rd birthday, and it was such a great time as a family. We had a lot of fun together. Even Ben! Of course, do I have photographic evidence of this spectacular time? Of course not. Just take my word for it and use your imagination. We opened a few presents at home (among them, a Leapster from mommy and daddy and a Thomas sweatshirt and book from Great-grampa and gramma Gunnink), and he got some birthday wishes over the phone from Papa and Nana and Great-grampa and gramma Gunnink. All in all, a great way to turn 4. So great, in fact, that the next day he fell asleep on the couch at 5:00. Catching up from all the excitement I guess. Some more small birthday celebrations await us in Michigan next weekend too.
Because this blog did not exist when Jeran was born, I thought it would be fun (for posterity and all) to record his birth story.
March 16, 2005.... 3 days past my due date and one day past a morning spent in false labor. I was BUMMED and anxious to get this show on the road. Starting around 4 in the afternoon on this Wednesday, however, noticeable contractions began, and because James and I were such good students of our Lamaze class, we started timing. Everything was pretty sporadic and not very intense, so we ate dinner and started watching the movie "Ray" (funny the things you remember, isn't it?). Around 10 pm contractions were about 7 minutes apart or so, so we called the hospital and they told us to come on in (even though at this point we were NOT good students and hadn't waited until the prerequisite 5 minutes apart for an hour contraction rule to take effect). My greatest fear at this point was being sent home. I was SO ready to just have this baby and didn't want to deal with the humiliation and disappointment of being told to go home and wait or that I was wrong and wasn't in labor at all. James enjoyed the 15 minute drive to the hospital because he felt that my being in labor (albeit, not very intense labor at this point) warranted him driving well above the speed limit. He was tempted to even take a red light or two. When we arrived, they had me change and get hooked up to the fetal monitor, and the waiting game began. Would we stay or would we go? In the end they decided to keep me because Jeran's heart rate kept dipping, and they wanted to keep an eye on that. Most of the nighttime hours that followed were uneventful. At some point I grew uncomfortable enough for an epidural and that marvelous messenger of God, the anesthesiologist, obliged. I had gone into my first labor with the intention of "seeing how things went" as far as going with the drugs or not, but after awhile I realized that if I didn't get some sleep, it would be a problem later. It was during these few hours of precious, early-morning sleep that things went haywire. Around 5:00 James and I were awakened by several nurses entering the room and telling me to shift to one side, then the other. This wasn't unusual since they'd been asking me to do this throughout the night to move the baby and get the heart rate back up. This time, however, they also asked me to get up on my hands and knees on the bed. Nothing was working, and things spiraled from there. More people were suddenly called into the room including the anesthesiologist. Our wonderful, angelic nurse Bridget informed us that the baby's heart rate was dangerously low nd for too long a time and my shifting positions was not helping. They were worried enough that it looked like C-section was the only way to go. Before I could blink the anesthesiologist was doping me up with more intense drugs and I was being wheeled from the room as a bleary-eyed James had consent forms thrust in his face. One vivid memory I have is riding down the hall, staring at those nondescript ceiling tiles as they flew by me, thinking, "Lord, this is NOT the way I wanted this to go, but whatever is going to deliver this baby safely....", and I really had tremendous peace about the whole thing. It was eerily quiet in the operating room as they prepped things, and then I noticed I couldn't feel anything pretty much from my neck down. I remember asking someone if this was normal and was told I was fine, and they'd keep an eye on me. Another vivid memory at this point is James walking in covered head to toe with that fashionable hospital garb. The only visible part of him were his eyes, and they were panicked. The doctor came in right after James and the next thing I knew he was telling us that things were looking up with baby, and he wasn't convinced C-section was the way to go after all. As I found out later from James, after I left the room, he overheard the nurses arguing in the hall about who was going to take the rap for making this C-section call because the doctor hadn't been the one to do it. Turns out our nurse Bridget had, and you know what? Not for a single second did we feel angry with her for that. She had the safety of our baby at heart and acted on it. SO - Jeran's heart beat went up again and no C-section was necessary. They wheeled my numb behind (along with the rest of me) back to our room. James and I then called our parents (who we had not contacted up until this point) to let them know what had happened and to ask for prayers. About 10 minutes after we hung up with my mom, she called back saying that there was no way she could just sit there at work and would we mind if she drove out? She'd just wait in the waiting room. Well, I never went into labor expecting to be the type of person who wants my mom in the delivery room with me, but when she got there, I was ALL about it. It was such a comfort to have her there after the fearful circumstances we had already been through, and I know that James was glad to not be the only one to have to coach me through what came next.
Around noon I was ready to push. The epidural/larger dose of C-section drugs I had been given were holding steady in some areas (like my legs, which were useless) but not others (like my back). It did turn out that Jeran was facing up instead of down, so that lovely bony part of his head caused some excruciating pain and gave me "back labor". To make a long story short, two and a half very intense, painful, and scary hours later (with the assistance of a doctor, nurse, "baby vacuum", and forceps) Jeran finally arrived in the world - all 5lbs. 12 oz. of him. I couldn't believe someone SO small could be so difficult to birth. He had had the cord wrapped around his foot and his neck which didn't help. There were definitely tears of relief mixed with our tears of joy (and, probably, sheer terror) that we were parents at last.
It's incredible to think that 4 years have passed and to look at the person Jeran is now. We praise God for not only how he worked throughout the difficult labor and delivery of our son but how he has worked during the past 4 years of his young life and how he has worked in our lives as parents. It has changed us, no doubt, and will continue to do so, I hope, for the better. I am both excited and terrified to continue walking this road of life with my son, watching what God does in and through him. Above all, with all of our rough moments and joyful ones, I am so grateful God saw fit to make me Jeran's mom. I CANNOT imagine a world that he is not a part of.
Anyway, Happy 4th Birthday, baby boy!
Because this blog did not exist when Jeran was born, I thought it would be fun (for posterity and all) to record his birth story.
March 16, 2005.... 3 days past my due date and one day past a morning spent in false labor. I was BUMMED and anxious to get this show on the road. Starting around 4 in the afternoon on this Wednesday, however, noticeable contractions began, and because James and I were such good students of our Lamaze class, we started timing. Everything was pretty sporadic and not very intense, so we ate dinner and started watching the movie "Ray" (funny the things you remember, isn't it?). Around 10 pm contractions were about 7 minutes apart or so, so we called the hospital and they told us to come on in (even though at this point we were NOT good students and hadn't waited until the prerequisite 5 minutes apart for an hour contraction rule to take effect). My greatest fear at this point was being sent home. I was SO ready to just have this baby and didn't want to deal with the humiliation and disappointment of being told to go home and wait or that I was wrong and wasn't in labor at all. James enjoyed the 15 minute drive to the hospital because he felt that my being in labor (albeit, not very intense labor at this point) warranted him driving well above the speed limit. He was tempted to even take a red light or two. When we arrived, they had me change and get hooked up to the fetal monitor, and the waiting game began. Would we stay or would we go? In the end they decided to keep me because Jeran's heart rate kept dipping, and they wanted to keep an eye on that. Most of the nighttime hours that followed were uneventful. At some point I grew uncomfortable enough for an epidural and that marvelous messenger of God, the anesthesiologist, obliged. I had gone into my first labor with the intention of "seeing how things went" as far as going with the drugs or not, but after awhile I realized that if I didn't get some sleep, it would be a problem later. It was during these few hours of precious, early-morning sleep that things went haywire. Around 5:00 James and I were awakened by several nurses entering the room and telling me to shift to one side, then the other. This wasn't unusual since they'd been asking me to do this throughout the night to move the baby and get the heart rate back up. This time, however, they also asked me to get up on my hands and knees on the bed. Nothing was working, and things spiraled from there. More people were suddenly called into the room including the anesthesiologist. Our wonderful, angelic nurse Bridget informed us that the baby's heart rate was dangerously low nd for too long a time and my shifting positions was not helping. They were worried enough that it looked like C-section was the only way to go. Before I could blink the anesthesiologist was doping me up with more intense drugs and I was being wheeled from the room as a bleary-eyed James had consent forms thrust in his face. One vivid memory I have is riding down the hall, staring at those nondescript ceiling tiles as they flew by me, thinking, "Lord, this is NOT the way I wanted this to go, but whatever is going to deliver this baby safely....", and I really had tremendous peace about the whole thing. It was eerily quiet in the operating room as they prepped things, and then I noticed I couldn't feel anything pretty much from my neck down. I remember asking someone if this was normal and was told I was fine, and they'd keep an eye on me. Another vivid memory at this point is James walking in covered head to toe with that fashionable hospital garb. The only visible part of him were his eyes, and they were panicked. The doctor came in right after James and the next thing I knew he was telling us that things were looking up with baby, and he wasn't convinced C-section was the way to go after all. As I found out later from James, after I left the room, he overheard the nurses arguing in the hall about who was going to take the rap for making this C-section call because the doctor hadn't been the one to do it. Turns out our nurse Bridget had, and you know what? Not for a single second did we feel angry with her for that. She had the safety of our baby at heart and acted on it. SO - Jeran's heart beat went up again and no C-section was necessary. They wheeled my numb behind (along with the rest of me) back to our room. James and I then called our parents (who we had not contacted up until this point) to let them know what had happened and to ask for prayers. About 10 minutes after we hung up with my mom, she called back saying that there was no way she could just sit there at work and would we mind if she drove out? She'd just wait in the waiting room. Well, I never went into labor expecting to be the type of person who wants my mom in the delivery room with me, but when she got there, I was ALL about it. It was such a comfort to have her there after the fearful circumstances we had already been through, and I know that James was glad to not be the only one to have to coach me through what came next.
Around noon I was ready to push. The epidural/larger dose of C-section drugs I had been given were holding steady in some areas (like my legs, which were useless) but not others (like my back). It did turn out that Jeran was facing up instead of down, so that lovely bony part of his head caused some excruciating pain and gave me "back labor". To make a long story short, two and a half very intense, painful, and scary hours later (with the assistance of a doctor, nurse, "baby vacuum", and forceps) Jeran finally arrived in the world - all 5lbs. 12 oz. of him. I couldn't believe someone SO small could be so difficult to birth. He had had the cord wrapped around his foot and his neck which didn't help. There were definitely tears of relief mixed with our tears of joy (and, probably, sheer terror) that we were parents at last.
It's incredible to think that 4 years have passed and to look at the person Jeran is now. We praise God for not only how he worked throughout the difficult labor and delivery of our son but how he has worked during the past 4 years of his young life and how he has worked in our lives as parents. It has changed us, no doubt, and will continue to do so, I hope, for the better. I am both excited and terrified to continue walking this road of life with my son, watching what God does in and through him. Above all, with all of our rough moments and joyful ones, I am so grateful God saw fit to make me Jeran's mom. I CANNOT imagine a world that he is not a part of.
Anyway, Happy 4th Birthday, baby boy!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Out of the mouths of babes
After I had been (greatly over)reacting to a disappointing situation this morning (ie: unnecessary tears and a teensy amount of ranting), this conversation took place between Jeran and me:
JJ: Mom, are you sad?
Me: Yeah, honey, Mommy's feeling a little sad and mad.
JJ: That's just like how I cry when someone takes a toy away from me.
Me: Yeah, it's not really the best way for us to handle feeling sad and mad, is it? Mommy really needs to pray about how she's feeling.
JJ: Yeah, and Mommy? You need to take some deep breaths and calm down.
It's funny how your own instruction and advice can come back to bite you in the butt.
JJ: Mom, are you sad?
Me: Yeah, honey, Mommy's feeling a little sad and mad.
JJ: That's just like how I cry when someone takes a toy away from me.
Me: Yeah, it's not really the best way for us to handle feeling sad and mad, is it? Mommy really needs to pray about how she's feeling.
JJ: Yeah, and Mommy? You need to take some deep breaths and calm down.
It's funny how your own instruction and advice can come back to bite you in the butt.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Updates
A peaceful evening here in the Louwerse household. Both boys are in their beds (though Jeran actually took a nap today, so I wouldn't label him as sleeping quite yet), and James is out with some of "the guys". So here I sit happily (and wierdly) crunching my ice and thinking about what's new with our family.
I would definitely qualify our last couple of weeks with Jeran as an improvement. While "1-2-3 Magic" isn't magic, per se (some tweaking and minor modifications have been made to allow for our son's unique personality) the amount of yelling and frustration in our household have decreased SIGNIFICANTLY. Another victory of sorts is that Jeran has officially joined the ranks of the potty trained. It is wonderful (and cheaper!) to only be changing one diaper (for the time being anyway), and I'm just so proud of him. It speaks to how much he's growing and changing. In fact, his birthday is a week from this Tuesday. It blows my mind that I will be the mother of a 4-year-old. He is so full of imagination and personality. Tonight at dinner we were entertained by many creative songs and several stories (mostly about Thomas and his friends but who's complaining?). The personality side is presenting a challenge as far as how sensitive and loving he so naturally is. In the past week he has told the check-out lady at Aldi and a lawyer friend of ours who stopped by to talk wills (scary, adult stuff) that he loved them. This is tricky ground for me. I want him to remain open and friendly and compassionate toward others, but I feel that a line of comfort is crossed for people when he is so unabashedly emotional. I guess part of my "fear" stems from the fact that I just finished reading "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult and one of the main characters is picked on mercilessly throughout his school career. It made me think about what a target Jeran could become because of his vulnerability with others, and I guess I just want to protect him from the meanness that can be out there in the world.
Benjamin...our dear, Benjamin. We're dealing with a kind of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde syndrome with this one right now. In the past couple of weeks his personality has done a complete 180 from being the laid back, easy-going kid to a demanding, tantrum-throwing, crabby boy. I wish I knew on what to blame that. Sickness? He's been somewhat congested for most of his short life so it's hard to tell when he's crossed the line from regular congested to sick congested. More teeth perhaps? We have had a few more of those make an appearance in recent weeks. I don't know. It seems like more than that to me. He definitely realizes now that he has a will of his own and does NOT like to be told no. I just hope and pray it's a passing phase and will end shortly. Each day seems to find him busier and quicker. We've lost him in our teeny tiny house several times in the past weeks. It's always a "He was just right here!" moment. Quick as lightning. He also seems to have a penchant for being a people-person. He's constantly waving and saying "hi" to just about anyone and everyone (and "hi" can be translated as "hello" or "good-bye" in Ben language).
Next week both boys visit the dr. for their check-ups so we'll see what news there is to report on them in that sense.
If you haven't noticed because you've been living under the proverbial rock or simply don't give a rat's patoot, the economy is really in the crapper. This makes James's job slightly more stressful to attend to these days. What I love about him and the company he works for is that they care so much about their clients as people, so it's hard for him knowing how all of this is affecting their clients. What we continually remind ourselves of during this difficult time is that our hope does not rest in government or businesses or money, but solely in the Lord, who continues to provide for our every need. One way he has been doing that for our family is by providing me with some work (finally!). I'm still babysitting on Thursdays and also have been tutoring at the center where I previously worked. It's only a few hours a week, but it's great to be using that teaching part of my brain again. I also have the opportunity now to tutor a little boy twice a week about 10 minutes from our house. There's a program in the western 'burbs called Bridge Communities which works with local churches and the homeless. The program works with homeless people/families to get them transitioned from that lifestyle into housing, education, jobs, etc. It's a pretty cool thing. Anyway, the wheels were put in motion back around Thanksgiving and just now finally a student arrived at the location nearest our house. I'm looking forward to being able to work with him but also find it scary to be totally in charge of assisting him - no center director to fall back on.
Last week we had the treat of James's mom staying with us from Wed. night - Monday morning. His dad was here too on Sunday and Monday but the other days had a conference in the northern suburbs. The boys had a FABulous time with Grandma, especially Jeran who enjoyed all the new books and other activities she brought to entertain. She also was a huge help in assisting us with the long list of little house projects we've been developing over the past 5 years and are just now getting motivated to tackle. James and I were also able to get away for some time together while they were here, and that was a HUGE treat.
So I guess that's all that's up. If I was better at updating on a more regular basis you wouldn't have such a ridiculously long post to wade through, and I would probably remember to share more details. As it is I forget my own name these days so the daily stuff sometimes falls through the cracks. Oh yeah, and I'm pregnant (how 'bout that?) and starting the every-tw0-week appointments now which means we're about 8 weeks out from being a family of 5. The nesting instinct has definitely kicked in hard core (much to James's chagrin) so don't be surprised the next time you see/talk to me if I'm desperately trying to move/organize/clean something.
At the moment I am content with what's been done today (mundane things like cleaning out the van, laundry, dishes and fun things like hanging out with some of "my girls" and the kids this morning). So for now I will bid farewell and go find some way to relax. Except, oh wait....that dust on the mantle is calling my name. And the spots on the carpet. Wasn't I going to fix that lamp shade, like, a year ago?......
I would definitely qualify our last couple of weeks with Jeran as an improvement. While "1-2-3 Magic" isn't magic, per se (some tweaking and minor modifications have been made to allow for our son's unique personality) the amount of yelling and frustration in our household have decreased SIGNIFICANTLY. Another victory of sorts is that Jeran has officially joined the ranks of the potty trained. It is wonderful (and cheaper!) to only be changing one diaper (for the time being anyway), and I'm just so proud of him. It speaks to how much he's growing and changing. In fact, his birthday is a week from this Tuesday. It blows my mind that I will be the mother of a 4-year-old. He is so full of imagination and personality. Tonight at dinner we were entertained by many creative songs and several stories (mostly about Thomas and his friends but who's complaining?). The personality side is presenting a challenge as far as how sensitive and loving he so naturally is. In the past week he has told the check-out lady at Aldi and a lawyer friend of ours who stopped by to talk wills (scary, adult stuff) that he loved them. This is tricky ground for me. I want him to remain open and friendly and compassionate toward others, but I feel that a line of comfort is crossed for people when he is so unabashedly emotional. I guess part of my "fear" stems from the fact that I just finished reading "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult and one of the main characters is picked on mercilessly throughout his school career. It made me think about what a target Jeran could become because of his vulnerability with others, and I guess I just want to protect him from the meanness that can be out there in the world.
Benjamin...our dear, Benjamin. We're dealing with a kind of Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde syndrome with this one right now. In the past couple of weeks his personality has done a complete 180 from being the laid back, easy-going kid to a demanding, tantrum-throwing, crabby boy. I wish I knew on what to blame that. Sickness? He's been somewhat congested for most of his short life so it's hard to tell when he's crossed the line from regular congested to sick congested. More teeth perhaps? We have had a few more of those make an appearance in recent weeks. I don't know. It seems like more than that to me. He definitely realizes now that he has a will of his own and does NOT like to be told no. I just hope and pray it's a passing phase and will end shortly. Each day seems to find him busier and quicker. We've lost him in our teeny tiny house several times in the past weeks. It's always a "He was just right here!" moment. Quick as lightning. He also seems to have a penchant for being a people-person. He's constantly waving and saying "hi" to just about anyone and everyone (and "hi" can be translated as "hello" or "good-bye" in Ben language).
Next week both boys visit the dr. for their check-ups so we'll see what news there is to report on them in that sense.
If you haven't noticed because you've been living under the proverbial rock or simply don't give a rat's patoot, the economy is really in the crapper. This makes James's job slightly more stressful to attend to these days. What I love about him and the company he works for is that they care so much about their clients as people, so it's hard for him knowing how all of this is affecting their clients. What we continually remind ourselves of during this difficult time is that our hope does not rest in government or businesses or money, but solely in the Lord, who continues to provide for our every need. One way he has been doing that for our family is by providing me with some work (finally!). I'm still babysitting on Thursdays and also have been tutoring at the center where I previously worked. It's only a few hours a week, but it's great to be using that teaching part of my brain again. I also have the opportunity now to tutor a little boy twice a week about 10 minutes from our house. There's a program in the western 'burbs called Bridge Communities which works with local churches and the homeless. The program works with homeless people/families to get them transitioned from that lifestyle into housing, education, jobs, etc. It's a pretty cool thing. Anyway, the wheels were put in motion back around Thanksgiving and just now finally a student arrived at the location nearest our house. I'm looking forward to being able to work with him but also find it scary to be totally in charge of assisting him - no center director to fall back on.
Last week we had the treat of James's mom staying with us from Wed. night - Monday morning. His dad was here too on Sunday and Monday but the other days had a conference in the northern suburbs. The boys had a FABulous time with Grandma, especially Jeran who enjoyed all the new books and other activities she brought to entertain. She also was a huge help in assisting us with the long list of little house projects we've been developing over the past 5 years and are just now getting motivated to tackle. James and I were also able to get away for some time together while they were here, and that was a HUGE treat.
So I guess that's all that's up. If I was better at updating on a more regular basis you wouldn't have such a ridiculously long post to wade through, and I would probably remember to share more details. As it is I forget my own name these days so the daily stuff sometimes falls through the cracks. Oh yeah, and I'm pregnant (how 'bout that?) and starting the every-tw0-week appointments now which means we're about 8 weeks out from being a family of 5. The nesting instinct has definitely kicked in hard core (much to James's chagrin) so don't be surprised the next time you see/talk to me if I'm desperately trying to move/organize/clean something.
At the moment I am content with what's been done today (mundane things like cleaning out the van, laundry, dishes and fun things like hanging out with some of "my girls" and the kids this morning). So for now I will bid farewell and go find some way to relax. Except, oh wait....that dust on the mantle is calling my name. And the spots on the carpet. Wasn't I going to fix that lamp shade, like, a year ago?......
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