Fact: There are 30 days in November.
Fact: Though I committed to NaBloPoMo (which requires a blog a day), I blogged a total of 17 entries in the aforementioned month.
Conclusion: Sometimes I REALLY suck at following through on things I say I'm going to do.

This is a character flaw that has recently come to light for me. For the most part, when I commit (particularly if other people are involved) I stick to the commitment. But it has become clear that without some sort of external motivation (ie: someone counting on me) I have a really difficult time with follow-through. Other examples from recent months:

- The South Beach Diet and exercise: While I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the way I treat my body, both in what I ingest and lack of physical activity, is going to produce detrimental effects down the road, I can't seem to stick with any sort of positive bodily regimen. I was super excited about the South Beach Diet because I have seen it work for friends of mine and because the principles behind it really are sound. Yet getting through the first two weeks of detox have proven, three times over, to be apparently impossible for me to stick with. Exercise: love the way it feels, but when the going gets tough (too dark in the morning, too tired in the evening, too cold now, etc. etc.) I fizzle out.

-There is a looooong list of people in my life who I vow constantly to be in touch with more frequently, get together with, and just in general let them know how much they mean to me. James and I started a letter-writing campaign a few Thanksgivings ago with the intent to let everyone in our lives know how important they are to us. We didn't even make it a quarter of the way through our list. I fear that my friends and family will not know how much you mean to me/us because I just plain poop out on picking up the phone, writing an email, setting a date for coffee or a drink. Because I know that no one is really EXPECTING this of me, it seems I take for granted the time I have to spend with those I love.

- House projects: another long list here. When I get spare time, though, to work on these things I find myself picking up a book instead of a paintbrush because there's no real deadline. When the day comes to put our house back on the market I'm sure I'll curse myself for this.

-The way I spend money. I find that old habits die hard here. You'd think I would learn a lesson or two from past experience and current debts still being paid, and there have been SOME positive changes in this area of my life, but I still seem to get sucked back into old patterns of behavior. Suffice it to say I put plans in place to be better about this and am challenged in following through.

-When I think about my past I can see that throughout my school career I was a bit of a procrastinator and half-assed worker, forgive the crudeness. Which works against my theory of external motivation because there were grades involved there. But I guess I was just content to be your average student.

Long story short, I really despise this part of my personality. I would like to change it. I want the satisfaction of a job well done and time well-spent to be my motivator, rather than the pressure that someone else is looking over my shoulder. I want to use the gifts and talents I've been bestowed with to be a blessing to others and in my own life/activities. But I'll betcha I'll need to build in some sort of accountability for this knowing how my personality works. At least I put it out here in writing. That has to be SOME sort of external motivator right? Time will tell.