All those of you who think I could excel (or at least passably accomplish) home schooling please raise your hand. Yeah, me neither. But it has been a tempting option this week as I've been dealing with a hurting little boy. Monday evening Jeran confessed to James that at school that day nobody would play with or sit by him. "Nobody likes me there." Can you hear my heart splintering into a thousand tiny pieces? We talked about it as a family on Tuesday morning again and tried to get to the bottom of whether this was just what Jeran perceived was happening or whether truly he was being ostracized from the group. It seems that on this particular day he was, indeed, the loner. And so, being the great mom that I am, I supressed my burning desire to go to each and every child in his class and give them A) a fiery tongue-lashing and B) many sweets and toys as a pay-off to including my child. Instead, James and I talked with Jeran about perhaps pursuing other interests with the kids in his class, rather than sticking like glue to the train table. Not everyone loves Thomas like you do, we explained (this revelation clearly stumped him). So we coached him on making the first move when it comes to friendship. Seeking out others and asking them if they'd like to show him what they are playing or asking whether someone would like to sit next to him on the Noah's Ark rug (apparently on Monday he sat "all alone on the ostrich"). We also explained that, unfortunately, not everyone is going to want to be friends all the time but that he should still be kind and include others when he has the chance. We also ran down a long list of friends he has outside of school and people who love him dearly. Then we prayed with him (and that was as much for his mom as for him). This is a whole new world for me, people. One major thing I have absolutely never wanted for my child (as any parent would attest, I'm sure) is for him to be lonely or rejected. However, I feel in the past 24 hours, that God has shown me two things.
1) Jeran is His child more than mine. His plans for Jeran and the things (even the painful things) that He allows in his life are building in my son Christ-like character for the future (who knew loneliness and rejection better than Christ?), and I know it's my job to help him understand that. I know that God loves JJ and wants the best for him far more than I can even fathom.
2) This too shall pass. And new challenges will follow.
I continue to pray that my son will be kind and will meet others who reciprocate. I pray for him to meet at least that one, true-blue friend who will stick closer than any other, and I also pray that Jeran will always choose to surround himself with, as his inner circle anyway, those who will encourage him and help him to stay on the straight and narrow, right path.
In the meantime, does anybody know of a really killer cupcake recipe that I could whip up to bring into class on Friday??
2 comments:
I was waiting for yur post, i am so sorry jewels but i laughed a bit when you said hte line, "Not everyone likes thomas the train" Aww.w.. :) Do you remember certain 'kids' who were often 'odd' in school (yes me too) but didn't socially always fit the mold and then later in life- they became like... huge succeses? Often times, the social aspects distracted us from staying focussed (I'm trying ot justify something because I'm a mom who also goes through this with my children) but I love your reasoning and it's a great reminder of how we cannot control it but be there for them when it happens... whew. Keep us posted hules. luv roobs
Oh man, that would totally break my heart too! I could cry just thinking about it :-) I'm super impressed with how you handled it though! As for the cupcakes, I'm a bit lat but I know my cousins make cupcakes using the cake recipe I have, it's chocolate cake, cream cheese and chocolate chips. If you go to allrecipes.com I'm sure you can find it.
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