31

Well, my birthday has come and gone, and in its wake I find myself.....a thirty-something. There was something about turning 30 last year that, while traumatic, still allowed me to hang on to some shred of my twenties. I'm not sure why I should care so much about crossing over into this decade. And really, on a daily basis, I don't. It's just something about that number that tells me time is marching onward, and sometimes, when I look back over my life I experience a variety of emotions about this fact. On the one hand, I am so grateful for God's faithfulness. I was raised by parents who were God-fearing and who I have been able to watch grow in their own faith over the years which has impacted me. I was blessed growing up by strong friendships (several of which continue to this day). I have an amazing extended family to which I feel very close and from which I have received and with which I share a heritage of faith. I am married to THE most amazing man - selfless, hilarious, thoughtful, compassionate. I have two adorable, loving, funny boys who we have the opportunity to watch grow and to mold and shape in the Lord's ways. Our daily needs are met. I have a circle of incredible, incredible (I just HAVE to say it twice) friends who all enrich my life in ways I can't even articulate. On the other hand, I feel that I have often squandered these blessings, abused them, taken them for granted. I feel that, as far as my faith journey goes, I should be so much "further along", given the gracious start in life I was given. SO - what does 31 mean to me? It means 31 years of history that make up my life. It means an unknown future that I entrust to the Lord. It means a year ahead of me in which I can experience each day as it comes and, God helping me, make each day filled with the fruit of His Spirit emanating from my life. And ultimately...it means just a number.