Today my baby is two. Forgive me for REDUNDANTLY stating this fact, but there are NO MORE BABIES AT MY HOUSE!!! For a plethora of reasons, that I will spare you from my expounding upon, I am giddily excited by this fact. I'll admit there is also a teeny, tiny, infinitesimal part of me that mourns the passing of this stage. But it is miniscule. Hardly even worth mentioning. Our big boy is celebrating the close of year two with, finally, his own room. He's always been the lightest sleeper of our brood, taking his sweet time in falling asleep and being easily awakened by the slightest noise or disturbance. Due to various circumstances here, we put off giving him his own space until just recently, but now that the deed is done we are all sleeping MUCH better because of it.
This weekend we will celebrate the baby of our family, hopefully with a trip to the zoo, perhaps a few gifts and some emphatic birthday singing. We will marvel at his growth (or is that, girth?). We will reminisce about the last two years of his presence in our lives, and we'll probably supress a little panic as we realize anew the depth of our responsibility as parents to get these three gregarious, loving boys safely into manhood. Mostly we'll probably just feel a little stressed and overwhelmed by the pace of life right now with three active kids aged six and under. But we'll feel pretty darn blessed too.
Happy Birthday, Grayson!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
Dear Uncle Sam, Thank you for unburdening me, this tax season, of funds that surely I would have frivolously wasted away on things like $4/gallon gas for my vehicle or personal debt reduction. Truly, you have saved me from financial recklessness. Surely "donating" my money to your ever deepening and widening black hole of a budget deficit and wasteful government spending is a MUCH better cause. Thanks a bunch, Another satisfied American
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Is Anybody Still Out There?
Wowza. A once-a-month update does not an interesting blog make. Sorry to be so MIA over here. Life has continued to go on, but for some reason I have been neglectful of sharing it with you, faithful and occasional readers.
Spring is upon us and with it an awakening of the natural world, the senses, and the time spent out of doors. Much to James's chagrin, it also means lawn cutting season has begun. (He asked me shortly after Jeran was born how old our children would need to be to help with that task. We agreed that being of a height taller than the lawnmower was probably pretty essential. Thus, he toils on alone.) The bikes and toys have been unburied from their place in the garage, the windows have been opened, and the parks revisited. Birthdays have been and will be celebrated: Jeran turned 6 on March 17 and Grayson will officially shed his babyhood on April 29 as he turns two. At times, as I've no doubt mentioned here before, I have a complex about how lame we are about birthdays. I have friends who are absolutely giddy about birthdays and celebrate with relish, planning weeks, even months, in advance. Around here the realization of an impending birthday usually dawns on us the week of. Whoops! This year we actually had planned a bit ahead and wanted to bring Jeran to Legoland, but it just didn't work out for James to get out of work early enough to make that a reality, so Jeran chose (surprise, surprise) the train restaurant as his celebratory venue. You know what though? Even though we've been there every year since he turned two, and even though it wasn't a huge event, we (and especially he) enjoyed it immensely. And isn't that what it's all about? (That and the presents, naturally.)
Choo choo! This year our good friend (and roomie for a brief time), Jess, got to join us too!
Grayson, our go-go-goer, doesn't show any signs of slowing down as he reaches the ripe old age of two. He talks, walks/runs, eats a mile a minute and therefore has no real problem keeping up with his bros. They're all pretty obsessed with being outside these days, not that I blame them. And they all remain buddies which I love to see.
School will soon be ending and with it, our routine, so my thoughts have started turning toward summer and what fun awaits us there. It's also a little unnerving for me, who loves a good routine, to realize that we'll be faced with somewhat unstructured days. But with our energetic, boisterous crew I see LOTS of fun times ahead.
On that note, however, I have to say that I finally feel like I'm at a place in my life where I have learned to enjoy one day at a time. I still need to work on really being present in each moment rather than jumping ahead or wishing certain moments to pass faster, but for the most part I find myself truly enjoying the day I have been given, recognizing (however morbid it may be) that I'm not guaranteed even my next breath. Awhile ago I was challenged (as is generally the case) by our pastor when he spoke about living in the margins. How often we live only for those moments of rest and relaxation in our lives: vacations, weekends, bedtimes. :) But even those not-so-restful moments, those moments that fill all the time in between the vacations, etc., the bulk of our time: am I living those to the fullest? While there's nothing wrong with times of rest and refreshment, am I ONLY living for those? There have absolutely been times (and still are) when I would answer yes to that. But I slowly feel I'm growing to a place where even the frustrating, exhausting, beat-me-to-a-pulp moments show me their value, and living in God's peace I can live those to the fullest too. It's a slow process. But I'm gettin' there.
Today was filled with many enjoyable moments: a picnic at the park with my kids, laughter, tons of hugs and kisses and snuggling, recognizing how faithful God is to meet my needs (even when I'm not always all that faithful), sunshine, cool breezes, accomplishment in work tasks... So you might say how easy it is to live fully in these moments. And that's certainly true. I'm soaking them up, basking in the easy joy, so that the Lord can refresh me for those moments when the joy doesn't come as easy.
So, that's what's going on in the life and head of us Louwerses. Hopefully spring fever is catching hold of you as well and enhancing the joy in your life.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Redundant
I know I've probably pretty much beat this topic to death with a stick here on the ol' blog, but it's a recurring issue in our household, and need I remind you that this is MY blog? I can write about what I want. (insert raspberry here)
The strong-willed child.
Jeran, someday if you are reading this (and if you are, I know that you are a balanced, well-rounded, perfectly capable adult and that you ADORE your mother) I would hate for your self-esteem to take a hit. Just know that as I tear my hair out over your behavior (I'm not bald in the future, am I?), it's in a loving manner.
This week has been epic. If scales were to be loaded up with moments of peace versus moments of war in this household, the scales would not only list viciously toward the latter, they would tilt then completely break off due to the weight of this week's battles. I'm really not exaggerating when I say that nearly every waking moment has been a verbal Ultimate Fighting Championship of Mom vs. J. For some reason Jeran has decided that it is well worth his while to have a fit/tantrum/nuclear meltdown over every. single. issue. What's for breakfast, leaving for school, how and when to put on his socks, what to watch/play and when. It goes on and on. And on. There have been tears (oh, so many tears - and not just his), so many raised voices, so many consequences/punishments, so many highly emotional reactions to said consequences/punishments. And I just find myself weary and confused. How have we escalated to this point? I felt like there was some headway being made toward maturity on his end regarding these issues, and then this week exploded into our lives like a firework gone wrong.
James (AKA: The Voice of Reason) has pointed out that I've been tightening the reins a bit where our oldest child is concerned. This is true. My eyes have really been opened to what I allow him to get away with, the areas where I back down when I should remain firm. So it seems only natural that he keeps pushing back to see if and when I'll break. However, there have been moments this week when I have not even recognized my own child, and the amount of emotion he has exhibited has been frightening in its intensity.
I am fully confident that God is with us on this journey and will lead us through to the other side. I know that James and I and Jeran will be stronger people because of it, and I hope that through it all we become more dependent on the Lord and closer to Him. But, let's face it, I also hope that tomorrow there are no fits/tantrums/nuclear meltdowns. I hope that I don't yell and despair but also that I don't give in. I hope that my child doesn't look back on these years and only remember a disciplining, unhappy, frustrated mom. I hope, I hope, I hope.
I have hope.
The strong-willed child.
Jeran, someday if you are reading this (and if you are, I know that you are a balanced, well-rounded, perfectly capable adult and that you ADORE your mother) I would hate for your self-esteem to take a hit. Just know that as I tear my hair out over your behavior (I'm not bald in the future, am I?), it's in a loving manner.
This week has been epic. If scales were to be loaded up with moments of peace versus moments of war in this household, the scales would not only list viciously toward the latter, they would tilt then completely break off due to the weight of this week's battles. I'm really not exaggerating when I say that nearly every waking moment has been a verbal Ultimate Fighting Championship of Mom vs. J. For some reason Jeran has decided that it is well worth his while to have a fit/tantrum/nuclear meltdown over every. single. issue. What's for breakfast, leaving for school, how and when to put on his socks, what to watch/play and when. It goes on and on. And on. There have been tears (oh, so many tears - and not just his), so many raised voices, so many consequences/punishments, so many highly emotional reactions to said consequences/punishments. And I just find myself weary and confused. How have we escalated to this point? I felt like there was some headway being made toward maturity on his end regarding these issues, and then this week exploded into our lives like a firework gone wrong.
James (AKA: The Voice of Reason) has pointed out that I've been tightening the reins a bit where our oldest child is concerned. This is true. My eyes have really been opened to what I allow him to get away with, the areas where I back down when I should remain firm. So it seems only natural that he keeps pushing back to see if and when I'll break. However, there have been moments this week when I have not even recognized my own child, and the amount of emotion he has exhibited has been frightening in its intensity.
I am fully confident that God is with us on this journey and will lead us through to the other side. I know that James and I and Jeran will be stronger people because of it, and I hope that through it all we become more dependent on the Lord and closer to Him. But, let's face it, I also hope that tomorrow there are no fits/tantrums/nuclear meltdowns. I hope that I don't yell and despair but also that I don't give in. I hope that my child doesn't look back on these years and only remember a disciplining, unhappy, frustrated mom. I hope, I hope, I hope.
I have hope.
Friday, February 25, 2011
DR 2011
Oh, the laughing, talking, dancing, celebrating, sunning, fist-bumping.... How often do you get to vacation in a tropical locale with 16 of your closest friends? Well, if we have our way, yearly, but realistically I'd say...once in a lifetime. 
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Anybody see which way the truck that hit me went?
Wow. I don't think I've ever been this sick in my life. Ever. The can't-even-get-out-of-bed-for-two-days kind of sick. You just don't even think about being healthy until you're not. Which reminds me of the people I know who are currently living with serious, ongoing illness. It gives me new appreciation and sympathy for their struggle, new appreciation for the great health our family (usually) lives with, and renewed realization that our days here on earth are numbered. Am I living the abundant life Jesus came here to give me in those hours and moments I'm given?
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Helllloooooo 2011!
A new year is here! What will it bring? Only God knows.
I just spent some time reading through my blog posts from 2010, trying to get an overall picture of the last year of our life (because, quite frankly, it's a bit of a blur). It's cool to see how the boys have grown and changed, teeny tiny ways that I have (there's a LOOONG way to go), and to recap fun, exciting, and even challenging events from the year. It's also a bit humbling to see all these projects/ideas I got all gung-ho about and went practically nowhere. You'd think putting it in print would keep me a LITTLE bit accountable.
I'm going to steal this idea from a fellow blogger and do some reflecting on 2010 and projecting into 2011:
1)What accomplishments from the past year are you most proud of? Well, my kids all seem to be intact, physically and emotionally. Haha! Ha.
2) What did you learn about yourself this last year? I'm a bit of a coward, socially speaking. I tend to shy away from uncomfortable or new social situations. I didn't used to be this way or at least not this bad. I'm working on it. More than myself, I feel like I've learned or re-learned some things about God and his immense, crazy love for me.
3) In what ways have you grown? I've been getting out of my comfort zone more. Also learning to be less prideful.
4) What were the high points of the past year? Vacationing with family, James's and my mini-getaway, Labor Day camping trip with Lombard CRC, girls getaway weekend, getting my part-time job at home, our new church starting up, Friday morning coffee time ;), Jeran learning to ride a bike, annual friends' camping trip, and I know there's more I'm neglecting to mention. Have I mentioned how crappy my memory can be?
5) Low points? Keith and Jeni moving to Alaska. Sorry guys. We're still happy for you, but it was hard to say good-bye. :)
6) What inspiration will you carry forward into the year ahead? The realization that I have been given SO MUCH blessing in my life. My children, my husband, our health, SO MANY loving friends and family, an enormous support system dispersed through so many areas of my life. My cup runneth over.
7) How would you complete this sentence: 2010 was the year of...movin' on: the boys (ok, and us) got older and grew in many ways, family moved home, family moved away, we moved to a different church, etc.
8) Pick 3 words to describe 2010. Sleeplessness, Fun, Growth
9)What were the best books you read this year? The Hunger Games, for sure. The Help, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, The Prodigal God, The Shack (which I think technically I re-read this year).
10) How did you grow in your relationships? I have had a lot of new friendships start up this year which is exciting. We've gotten to know some of our neighbors better as well.
11) What was your single biggest time waster? Ugh. I hate to admit it: Facebook and the internet in general.
12) What was the best way you used your time this year? Those stretches of time when I was exercising and eating right. Anytime I spent in the Word and prayer, particularly when I started my day that way.
GOING FORWARD:
1) What are you most looking forward to in the year ahead? Walking more closely with the Lord, our trip to the Dominican Republic for our good friends', Clint and Merley's, wedding (no kids! Lots of friends!), growing in my relationships with my children, my husband, and others in my life
2) What do you want more of in the year ahead? God and an understanding of His love, time spent with my kids rather than wasting it on things that don't matter (like a clean house -though this is hard for me to give up!)
3) Less of? Pessimism, debt, unhealthy choices, anger
4) What relationships will you invest more of yourself in this year? My kids and my husband. Because I see them everyday I feel like it's easiest for me to just go on autopilot with them. They definitely do not get the best of me each day.
5) In what ways would you like to see yourself grow? Simplifying. Living wisely (see #8 below). Being present in each moment of my day. Praying without ceasing.
6)What are you choosing to let go of this year? People not living up to my standards/expectations; instead, loving them for who they are not who I think they should be. I also want to let go of this whole concept of needing THINGS. There's always bigger, better, more out there for me to want, buy, waste time and money on.
7) How would you complete the following sentence: This will be the year of: healthy choices! wise living!
8) If you had to choose a verse for the year ahead what would it be? God has directed my attention to Ephesians 5:15-17 several times in the last few weeks, and I feel his message for me this year is this: "Be very careful then how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."
Happy New Year (a little late) y'all! May you grow, change, be blessed in 2011!
I just spent some time reading through my blog posts from 2010, trying to get an overall picture of the last year of our life (because, quite frankly, it's a bit of a blur). It's cool to see how the boys have grown and changed, teeny tiny ways that I have (there's a LOOONG way to go), and to recap fun, exciting, and even challenging events from the year. It's also a bit humbling to see all these projects/ideas I got all gung-ho about and went practically nowhere. You'd think putting it in print would keep me a LITTLE bit accountable.
I'm going to steal this idea from a fellow blogger and do some reflecting on 2010 and projecting into 2011:
1)What accomplishments from the past year are you most proud of? Well, my kids all seem to be intact, physically and emotionally. Haha! Ha.
2) What did you learn about yourself this last year? I'm a bit of a coward, socially speaking. I tend to shy away from uncomfortable or new social situations. I didn't used to be this way or at least not this bad. I'm working on it. More than myself, I feel like I've learned or re-learned some things about God and his immense, crazy love for me.
3) In what ways have you grown? I've been getting out of my comfort zone more. Also learning to be less prideful.
4) What were the high points of the past year? Vacationing with family, James's and my mini-getaway, Labor Day camping trip with Lombard CRC, girls getaway weekend, getting my part-time job at home, our new church starting up, Friday morning coffee time ;), Jeran learning to ride a bike, annual friends' camping trip, and I know there's more I'm neglecting to mention. Have I mentioned how crappy my memory can be?
5) Low points? Keith and Jeni moving to Alaska. Sorry guys. We're still happy for you, but it was hard to say good-bye. :)
6) What inspiration will you carry forward into the year ahead? The realization that I have been given SO MUCH blessing in my life. My children, my husband, our health, SO MANY loving friends and family, an enormous support system dispersed through so many areas of my life. My cup runneth over.
7) How would you complete this sentence: 2010 was the year of...movin' on: the boys (ok, and us) got older and grew in many ways, family moved home, family moved away, we moved to a different church, etc.
8) Pick 3 words to describe 2010. Sleeplessness, Fun, Growth
9)What were the best books you read this year? The Hunger Games, for sure. The Help, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, The Prodigal God, The Shack (which I think technically I re-read this year).
10) How did you grow in your relationships? I have had a lot of new friendships start up this year which is exciting. We've gotten to know some of our neighbors better as well.
11) What was your single biggest time waster? Ugh. I hate to admit it: Facebook and the internet in general.
12) What was the best way you used your time this year? Those stretches of time when I was exercising and eating right. Anytime I spent in the Word and prayer, particularly when I started my day that way.
GOING FORWARD:
1) What are you most looking forward to in the year ahead? Walking more closely with the Lord, our trip to the Dominican Republic for our good friends', Clint and Merley's, wedding (no kids! Lots of friends!), growing in my relationships with my children, my husband, and others in my life
2) What do you want more of in the year ahead? God and an understanding of His love, time spent with my kids rather than wasting it on things that don't matter (like a clean house -though this is hard for me to give up!)
3) Less of? Pessimism, debt, unhealthy choices, anger
4) What relationships will you invest more of yourself in this year? My kids and my husband. Because I see them everyday I feel like it's easiest for me to just go on autopilot with them. They definitely do not get the best of me each day.
5) In what ways would you like to see yourself grow? Simplifying. Living wisely (see #8 below). Being present in each moment of my day. Praying without ceasing.
6)What are you choosing to let go of this year? People not living up to my standards/expectations; instead, loving them for who they are not who I think they should be. I also want to let go of this whole concept of needing THINGS. There's always bigger, better, more out there for me to want, buy, waste time and money on.
7) How would you complete the following sentence: This will be the year of: healthy choices! wise living!
8) If you had to choose a verse for the year ahead what would it be? God has directed my attention to Ephesians 5:15-17 several times in the last few weeks, and I feel his message for me this year is this: "Be very careful then how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."
Happy New Year (a little late) y'all! May you grow, change, be blessed in 2011!
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